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Summer 2007
Want Something
Praised or, well..."slashed"...? Send a note, and
we'll add it to the list!
 Slash : To
cancelled shows that have pitiable "online video" to appease the fans
who still love them. Most recently: CBS chose at the eleventh hour to
cancel Pirate Master when they had already aired eight episodes
of the (at best) 14 episode series. Why cancel a summer series for more
repeats, when you've already shown more than half of it? Yet what's even
worse is how FOX "resolved" the issue with their cult hit drama, Drive.
The good news when it aired was: each episode was downloadable on
iTunes. Yet they decide to show the rest of the season online, with such
episodes...not on iTunes. That doesn't even make sense.
Yes, we know that you can supposedly see new episodes of either show,
via either grainy Real Player or choppy Windows Player. We're not
impressed. In fact; if not for "recap" sites, we'd be downright pissed.
At least we know in prose what was supposed to happen on each show, but
that's a small comfort. FOX, add the unaired episodes on iTunes, please,
and CBS...air the unaired pirate episodes, and enough of the 48
Hours "special edition" crap. Finish what you started, boys.
Slash : Though
not "entertainment" oriented, exactly; I have to give a small
gripe-ridden "Slash" to Pepsi cola, for constantly putting its newest
experimental drinks in "diet" form. Why do the dieters get all the fun?
Regular Pepsi drinkers deserve a "new" cola flavor too! This goes double
for their new "energy drink"-style Pepsi product released this summer,
which is offered...in diet form. Think about this. A drink that is
supposed to be for people who need an energy boost...and it uses
artificial sugar. Don't bother explaining it to me.
Just give me the same drink in "non diet" form, okay?
Slash : To
Sarah Silverman crossing the line. Yes, we're talking about the MTV
Movie Awards, and Sarah's so called
"hosting" job. Okay; so many hosts on many an awards show have ribbed
other celebrities. There is an unwritten rule, however, to never joke
about a celebrity who is courteous enough to be in the audience while
you're hosting. Sarah apparently never heard that rule...or any other
rules on candor, grace, manners, or good judgment, for that matter. She insulted
Paris Hilton so crudely, that the joke is unprintable here, all while
Paris was in the audience. If your response is "I never liked Paris
anyway," let's put it this way: the camera doesn't lie. The rest of the
audience was not terribly amused, either. All I can
say is: Sarah, girl, you had better have an unbelievably spotless record
for the rest of your life, because Karma has a way of biting you right
on your boney ass. One day a standup comic is looking for good comic
fodder; the next day they find themselves becoming the
next big joke. Of course; what could we have expected from a
"comedienne" who's starred in no less than 50 different films and shows,
and we can barely remember the girl at all?
 DOT
: To one last good "whack" in Sopranos lore. Sure the
final scene was a copout; yet the grand finale of Tony and Phil's
longtime battle was not. Though technically Phil was shot at a gas
station, the resulting panic ---not to mention his wife's car being
accidentally stuck in "neutral" and running over Phil's head--- was
definitely a moment to remember. At the extreme least it's one we won't
forget too easily.
Slash : To
that totally annoying Cheerios commercial with that totally annoying
kid. Let me guess; I don't need to be more specific, do I? Allow me to
explain the ad, anyway. Grandpa is at breakfast (we must assume) eating
Cheerios. In comes his grandson in pajamas and...goggles?
Okay; so maybe we're nitpicking as badly as George in a classic episode
of Seinfeld, though could someone explain to us why this kid is in his
pajamas wearing...goggles? It would be one thing if the kid came in from
the porch after swimming in the pool. That can't be, because he's still
in his pajamas. What sort of spaz of a kid wears goggles to bed? Someone
obviously thought the kid looked cuter with the goggles. They thought
wrong. Sorry! Seriously...goggles?!?
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