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 DOT
: To a really nice
rendition of The 12 Days Of Christmas that is bound to make gamers
smile. Direct2Drive, from December 1st straight on to Christmas Eve, has
an awesome sale going on where some of the best games are on sale dirt
cheap. The deal is that each day one big name game goes on sale for 24
hours, with a different game on sale each day for 24 days. While one can
only imagine what big name game will be on sale Christmas Eve, the sale
has already included everything from Borderlands to Company of Heroes
and from Section 8 to...oh just go to direct2drive and go shopping
already!
 Slash : To
the makers of Uncharted 2 for making the
"Fortune Hunter's Edition" of the game rare beyond words! As you can see above, this
collector's edition includes not just the game, the strategy guide, and
a cool box to keep it all in, though it also includes a scale replica of
the artifact seen in the game (which looks a lot like the cursed dagger
with a head that Alec Baldwin wrestled with in The Shadow,
though it looks cool anyway). Sounds like a must-buy collector's edition
for anyone who loves the game (as in: everyone who played the game!),
except for one tiny problem: this edition is not for retail sale. You
have to win it via any number of "dumb luck" contests online. Look; I'm
all for a fair and square contest, though the prize is often either
money or something only an elite few people might actually want (like,
say,
a new Xbox in the same bright colors as the South Park cartoon series).
This is a sure-sell...and it's not for sale. Adding insult to gamers'
injury:
Slash : To
all the elite few who actually WON a "Fortune Hunter's Edition" of
Uncharted 2, only to try and sell it on ebay for $4,000, like a total
dweeb. Look; I am an eBay seller myself, and if it sells it's for sale,
as a rule. However; when you apply for a contest,
not to own a cool piece of gaming gear
everyone wants, though instead: just to try and sell it on eBay for
$4,000? Words cannot describe you, pal. Well, yes, actually, there are a
few choice four letter words to describe you that begin with the letters
D, S, and of course "F," though this is a family-oriented game site, so
I'll pass on stating the obvious. Thanks a lot for making the Fortune
Hunter's Edition so rare and overpriced, Naughty Dog Studios. I promise
not to take it out on the game itself, when honoring Games of
the Year this New Year's Day. I only hope other gamers are as
unbiased and forgiving. Good luck with that, guys.
Slash : To
Star Wars: The Force Unleashed, for not having the foresight of
allowing both "good" and
"bad" paths to lead to decent add-on missions. You might have
noticed that the original game has been re-released as the "Ultimate
SITH Edition." If you're a diehard Jedi in training, hoping to wait
until they release the "Ultimate JEDI Edition"...pack a big lunch.
Spoilers, shmoilers: if you choose the "Jedi" path in the
game, you must stay true to the
canon of the story (think about it) yet if you choose "Sith" you get to
alter the story any which way you choose, hence the upgraded game where
the next big Sith goes to Tatooine and Hoth, destroying all rebels
---and all Star Wars canon--- in his wake. Yet canon for the Jedi path
must be preserved. How fair is this? No, don't
tell me that it's "fair" because the Sith are evil and get to alter the
original Star Wars story. That's just nonsense. Here's a helpful piece
of advice: offer a free download where the Jedi Apprentice is somehow
revived from apparent death. Then give us the
alternate-story mission packs that a true Star Wars fan deserves. Have
the Apprentice go to Bespin and stop Han Solo's capture while killing Boba-Fett. Have him go to the second Death Star and
team up with Anakin and Luke to defeat the Emperor, allowing Anakin to stay alive and reunite with Luke and Leia.
Fair is fair. Alternate storylines for the bad guys and not
for good guys...? Whose boneheaded plan was this?
DOT
: To a game design team
that daringly wanted quality over quantity...specifically, the quantity
of inevitable sales during the holiday shopping season. True, Bioshock 2
would have sold like crazy during the holiday season, as it was
scheduled to do...only to have the game design team bump the game to
February. The unofficial word is that they want to make sure the game is
perfect. Well, as someone who is dying for the sequel, I am disappointed
and yet...good for them. How many other game studios would have simply
rushed the game out for the holidays and then forced us to download a
patch when they got around to it? Bioshock 2 was already showing signs
of being a flawless masterpiece. The fact they decided to forgo the
holiday shopping season to make it even more perfect, speaks volumes for
Bioshock 2...and the game's design studio.
Slash : To
Survivor Samoa, and their clear and obvious use of a studio plant to
increase tension in the game. Yeah you know who I'm talking about.
"Russell" has been touted as the biggest villain in Survivor history.
Yet whoever this "Russell" is tries so hard at being the next big
Survivor character, he winds up looking like a caricature. From emptying
water canteens to burning a sock while the owner of the sock sleeps;
this guy thinks he's annoying, and he's right, though not because he's
someone we all love to hate. It's more like a "why did they hire an
amateur actor" sort of thing. There's just nothing that rings true with
this guy, and frankly, it's getting annoying. There used to be a day
when Survivor was a full length ahead of all Thursday night competition.
These days they're barely tying for first place. Can CBS get enough
pushovers to keep watching this obviously fake Survivor caricature? Time
will tell, though I sense another
 Slash
coming very soon...and another...and...
DOT
: To
Good Old Games and their
amazingly affordable lineup of legal classic game downloads. Are you a
fan of classic adventure gaming like The Longest Journey, or a
diehard fan of older DOS adventure games like Mean Streets? Do
you long for the days of DOS action games like Rise of the Triad
and Duke Nukem 3D, or are you finding it difficult to play
Windows 95 games on your Windows Vista machine, like Oddworld: Abe's
Odyssee? All of the above and many more are available at Good Gold
Games. They just celebrated their first anniversary and I'm sure they'll
be celebrating many more. Many games even come with added freebies like
the game soundtrack, wallpaper, avatar icons, and much more. Awesome!
Slash : It's
been said before and it deserves saying again: what is with all the web
sites that "trick" you into Googling their site? Look; Techtite.com
might not be Twitter, though if you Googled your way here, believe me;
you reached what you were looking for. If you Google "Star
Wars Review" that's what you get. Tell that to any number of sites that
claim to have what you're looking for, only to have you go to the site
and see a message like: "Oh, yeah, we don't have that review yet, though
feel free to come back again and again until we do." Excuse me? You just
tricked me into giving your site a free "hit" for no reason and all you
can do is give me a "Sorry...Psych!" message? For shame. In fact; I have
to give a small
Slash
to Google itself for not catching on to charlatan sites like this.
Enough with the Google tricks, guys. Enough.
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