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Winter/Start of the Year, 2004
In the TV world
there's "cheers and jeers." In the movie world there's
"thumbs up" and "thumbs down." Well, here in
cyberspace, there's (...) dots and (/) slashes. What news
bytes hit their mark, and which should be
"slashed" ? Here are the latest of them...
Want Something
Praised...or "Slashed"? Send a note, and
we'll add it to the list!
 DOUBLE
Slash
: Although admittedly the weakest reason
so far for a "double" slash here at Techtite.com, everyone here
--and every message board I've scrolled through-- cannot stand how every
major character of The O.C. has been downplayed, just so
obnoxious newcomer "Oliver" can take center stage. Exactly what
big-shot relative, million-dollar bribe, or other nefarious pact was made to
make this poor excuse of a character the erroneous lead character of every
episode for the past half dozen episodes? Annoying to the point of hitting
the "mute" button, obnoxious to the point of tears and frustrating
to watch to the point of throwing things at the screen; this is a pathetic
wretch of a character. Word is that the February 11th episode --where he was
supposed to commit suicide-- was rewritten because the writers did not want
him permanently ousted from the series. That makes one of us. Kill him only
if you need to, but do give "Oliver" his
eviction papers from The O.C. Now.
Slash
: Speaking of "O.C.," a big slash is
deserved for the current plans --or past, depending on when you read this--
to make the March 3rd episode the final appearance of perky Anna (Samaire Armstrong).
Although not intended as a permanent character Anna has proven to be a major
jolt to the series; one worthy of permanence, even if as a recurring guest
star. From her outrageously eye-catching attire each episode, to her perky
attitude and engaging personality; this character --and the actress playing
her-- is a keeper. So keep her!
 DOT
: To one whale of a Superbowl this year! I
know people love it when there's a sort of "Mike Tyson" score at
the end, and one team loses with a score of something close to 40 -to- 0.
This year's Supberbowl was far better than that, right up to the very end,
where one single kickoff broke the tie and won the game. Thanks to not
only the winning team (The Patriots), though also their very tense
competition (The Panthers), for making this one of the best Superbowls in
years. Bravo!
Slash
: To whomsoever was responsible for "Breastgate"
at the Superbowl. Yeah, you know what I mean; the whole Janet Jackson
popping out a breast, with lyrics beforehand saying "I bet I'll make
you naked by the end of this song," yet Justin insisting it was a
"wardrobe malfunction" while CBS and NFL and (to a point) MTV
all saying they're as shocked as we were to see the same thing. It
deserves a very tiny dot
that Janet Jackson took a bullet on this one, saying it was her idea and
not MTV, putting them in the clear (somewhat). It was still a dumb idea
though and will cost many people very serious fines; and that's if they
get out of this easy! It was just plain dumb to have even
considered this. Come on, Janet; you should've known far better.
Slash
: To cheap sales tactics on TV. Yeah, I know what
you're thinking: am I talking AM or PM? Seriously; NBC's sales pitch for
their February sweeps shows goes too far. Even at mid-January, it
was too hard to tell
if the shows they were promoting were for "next week," or rather
an episode
that will air as late as February 29th! Many people felt that the Las
Vegas episode airing January 26th would be a zinger starring Paris Hilton,
Jean Claude Van Damme, and on and on. Not so; that night's episode was not
only without a single guest star; it was the suckiest episode of
that show so far! So when will Jean Claude and/or Paris star on the show?
Well, sometime in February sweeps, apparently, as the exact same teaser
promo promised us, for a second time, at the end of that episode.
Give me a break, guys! Show promos of shows that are coming up next week,
not shows that will air "eventually." Play fair, NBC.
Slash
: To jumping ship before even stating your case. Sure,
the latest Ashton Kutcher movie, The Butterfly
Effect, has received
lukewarm reviews; on the ol' Rotten Tomato Meter, about 2
thirds of all critics says it
sucks. Sure, some big names are among the opposition: Variety magazine said it "grows more ridiculous by the
quarter-hour" and The Boston Globe said it was "hooted
off the screen at Sundance". That's still no reason for Ashton to
call off all interviews to promote the film, on the very Friday that the film
was to be widely released! This is sure to make the crash and burn of this movie all
the more swift; a stupid maneuver, when one out of three critics liking it
isn't a terribly horrific number. In fact, the film may have even received
a cult fandom of sorts, a la 12 Monkeys or Seven. With the movie's lead star jumping ship
himself, this is far less likely to happen.
Likewise for Ashton's attempt at a dramatic film career. How many such
roles will he receive, when he's so ready to walk away from the publicity
tour for such movies?
DOT
: To a site long in coming...yet wouldn't you
know it; the site is apparently seven years old! Commercials
I Hate.Com may not be the most important list you'll ever read, and
half of the commercials he rants about I've fortunately never even seen.
However, who doesn't need to hear a site officially read the Riot Act to
that latest stupid Pepsi ad (it doesn't matter what year you read this
comment; they're all bad)...? Sure, this guy doesn't give both barrels to
everything that would be on my personal list, of the most loathsome of
commercials, and yet it's still a pretty complete list, and very fun to read. Thanks for the
laugh, guys.
DOT
: To morality having no price tag. Everybody
was biting their nails to the knuckle at the thought of Survivor: Pearl
Island's "Jonny Fairplay" winning the million. Heck; it freaked
me out just to think he'd get 100 grand, after acting to other contestants
like his grandmother died, when she didn't, just for a cheap
attempt at a sympathy tactic to stay in the game longer (i-d-i-o-t!!!). Then the
enjoyably unthinkable happens; Scout Troop Leader Lillian, in the final boot-off,
chooses Jon to go, over Sandra. While some people say she piffled away her
chance at the million in doing so: NO. Keep in mind; the jury consisted of
the exact same half-wits who kept Jonny in the game, until the very last
episode!!! If they fell for his malarkey for so long; who's to say he
wouldn't have fooled them right into a one million grand prize vote? Well, that's all immaterial, because when it came to Lillian's
sole vote, she voted for Jon to finally go, go, GO. Yee-hah! I can look at
my cub scout uniform in the closet with even more pride than before.
Thanks, Lillian. You go, girl!
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