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Top Ten Cartoon 

Ideas Gone Awry!

There have been a lot of cartoons that must've looked decent enough, when first pitched to the production company. However, as is often the case, something goes terribly wrong in the trip from drawing board to TV screen. Sometimes the flaw is minor --for a potentially good cartoon concept-- and sometimes the final result is just plain BAD. Either way, the result is, well...the 10 worst snafus, in cartoons gone terribly awry:

Dynomutt, Dog Wonder and Blue Falcon (1976, 20 episodes) The original idea must've been : This was a cheap ploy to appeal to the "bionic/robot" craze of the 70's. Blue Falcon (who no comic fan I know of, had ever heard of) was given a robot dog who never worked quite right. It had at least one good idea, when : Giving DinoMutt more gizmos than 100 Swiss Army Knives. Where the problems began : Who the heck is Blue Falcon, and why should we care...? His voice is by Gary "Laugh In" Owens; too comical to be a decent super hero voice. Meanwhile, Dynomutt is such an uber-klutz it makes one wonder why he isn't reprogrammed, or just replaced with a Cuisinart. Final cartoon quality : Nicely animated, yet stupid. The Beginning of the End was : About the zillionth time Dynomutt gets Blue Falcon stuck in his own criminal trap.

The Super-Globetrotters (1979, 13 episodes) The original idea must've been : They're not just Globetrotters; now they have Super Powers! It had at least one good idea, when : Making a cartoon about basketball players! Hey, why not? Where the problems began : The super powers of these globetrotters were a total joke. One would basically turn into a giant basketball and bounce around. How ominous is that? How about the guy whose sole super power was --no, I'm serious-- hiding things in his huge afro? Final cartoon quality : Well, how hard is it to draw a giant basketball? For that matter, what types of crimes can a giant ball-man stop? One gunshot wound and the guy'd become a deflated pile of rubber. Big whoop. The Beginning of the End was : When kids left skid marks to watch Bill Cosby host the far superior Fat Albert cartoons.

The Three Robonic Stooges (1977) The original idea must've been: Two limited ideas were apparently pitched in 1977: a cartoon that wanted to tap into the "bionic mania" of the 70's (Six Million Dollar Man, Bionic Woman, etc.), and a cartoon based on the three stooges. Why not combine them into one show? It had at least one good idea, when : Not making Shemp bionic. I'm sure Shemp would want it that way. Where the problems began : Bionic knuckleheads??? What buffoon thought that one up? Final cartoon quality : About as poorly animated as an old, unretouched stooges re-run...and for 1970's TV, that's not good. The Beginning of the End was : The illogic of it all! If Robot Moe twisted Robot Curly's nose with a wrench, wouldn't he just go, "Hey, Thanks!"...?

Gravedale High (1990) The original idea must've been : Rick Moranis' reprises his classic, loveable nerd persona in animated form; he's a teacher who can't find work anywhere except a school for monsters! The trouble is, much like nerdy ol' him, these monsters have trouble fitting into the real world (duh). He helps them come to terms with their monster looks, their monster powers, and of course (EEK!) puberty. It had at least one good idea, when : casting RIck Moranis as the lead role. Where the problems began : ...The boring monsters, including one simply named "Cleofatra." Gee, funny. Final cartoon quality : BAD. Animation was horrid, while audio often sounded like it was taped in one take in a cheap sound booth. The Beginning of the End was : An invisible boy who wanted to be a stand-up comic.

Every Single H.B. Cartoon starring The Shmoo. (1979) The original idea must've been : Beats me. Shmoo was apparently an Al Capp creation, in his Lil' Abner comic strip. It's a blob with legs, which can turn into a few funny objects. However, no matter how much your grandpa loved ol' Abner, Shmoo's animated persona was totally grating. He/She/It helped solve crimes, while (arrrgh!) muttering the most cutie-patootie baby talk mumbling you ever heard. Why not scratch nails on a chalkboard for a half hour, and give kids' ears a break...? It had at least one good idea, when : ...cancelled. Where the problems began : Someone at Hanna Barbera loved the shmoo. Beats me as to why. They tried, tried, tried, tried, and tried some more to put shmoo into any cartoon that remotely resembled...anything. I really started feeling sorry for the idea-less H.B. studios, when they actually put Fred Flintstone and Barney Rubble as pre-historic keystone cops, with the shmoo tagging along as a sidekick. How did Shmoo travel back in time? Don't ask. Final cartoon quality : Well, answer this for yourself; how hard is it to draw a blob consisting merely of two fat legs...? The Beginning of the End was : When some twit actually gave the thumbs-up to the "Shmoo" at all.

Fonz and the Happy Days Gang (1980, 24 episodes) The original idea must've been: Put Happy Days' Fonzie, Ralph Mouth, and Richie Cunningham in a cartoon. Ayyyy! It had at least one good idea, when : ...casting all the original actors as the voices for their animated characters. Where the problems began : For some reason, the gang is now going through time. Even worse, the time travel machine is owned by "Shortcake," a woman from the future who's surprisingly (and often very chauvinistically) dumb as a wooden board. Why someone with the brain of a Tic-Tac would gain control of her own time machine is beyond me. Tagging along is Fonzie's equally annoying, stupidly drawn "dog" named Mr. Cool. Final cartoon quality : Quite frankly, this was some of the weakest quality animation in Hanna Barbera's career. The Beginning of the End was : ...its  theme song, narrated by Fonzie, and about as entertaining as having stereo instructions sung to you.

Strawberry Shortcake (ca. 1980). The original idea must've been : Simple no-brainer; a toy manufacturer made a line of toys (one of which shown at right), and needed them promoted in a cartoon, with advertisements for the toys "discreetly" placed during the commercial spots. It had at least one good idea, when : making a show so saccharine in cuteness, even the chest-thumpers for non violent cartoons probably gagged. Where the problems began : Strawberry Shortcake's nemesis is the Purple Pie Man. The bad, bad Purple Pie Man doesn't like Strawberries...he likes to make purple pies! Um, does that mean the pies are...grape? ...blueberry? Oh, no; what horror! What would we do without the poster pipsqueak for Prozac, Strawberry Shortcake? Between you and me, I'd take a pie over shortcake any day of the week. Final cartoon quality : Just plain hideously bad. If you want to see your G.I. Joe action figure cry, show him an episode of this. The Beginning of the End was : The narrator was "Mr. Sun," who is always a cheerful, light, bright and happy-dappy sun! Where's a litmus test for animators when you really need one...?

The Brady Kids (1972, 22 episodes) The original idea must've been : Keep the Brady Bunch legacy alive for a few more years as an animated cartoon of the Brady Kids. It had at least one good idea, when : every single one of the original actors was cast as their character's voice. Where the problems began : Where's the parents, or even Alice? They're gone, and in their place is some stupid magic bird named "Merlin." As for plotlines, even the original Brady Bunch series had more gripping plots than this. Final cartoon quality : Filmation seemed to be borrowing too much background art and animation styles from their Archie Comics cartoons, which lost something in the translation to Brady Kids. This was hardly their best work. The Beginning of the End was : In the last episode I ever attempted to watch straight through, Greg's arch-nemesis in a school election is scared into confessing his evil deeds, by a shadow puppet of Abraham Lincoln. Yes, the show was that dumb.

Jeannie (1973, 13 episodes). The original idea must've been : Imagine sitcom's classic genie, if animation allowed her to have magic spells galore! It had at least one good idea, when : Jeannie would shake her ponytail to cast spells; cute touch! Where the problems began : Barbara Eden did not sign on as the voice of the title character. Meanwhile, comic relief was in the form of "Babu," an apprentice genie who said his annoying, ripped-off magic phrase --"Yabble Dabble"-- several times every episode. Lastly: with all due respects to Mark "Luke Skywalker" Hammil as Jeannie's-new-master Corey, the feeling fans of the sitcom had was, "Where's Tony Nelson...?" Final cartoon quality : Good, although since when is Jeannie a redhead? Jeannie looked more like Scooby Doo's "Daphne" on her way to a costume party. When this "Jeannie" guest starred on an episode of The New Scooby Doo Movies, she and Daphne could've been twins, which made the episode seem even sillier. The Beginning of the End was : ...even the aforementioned Scooby guest stint didn't sway people from ignoring the series. If you asked me, Jeannie deserved better.

Making Super Friends into The World's Greatest Super Friends (1979) The original idea must've been : Many ethnic groups complained that there were no ethnic super heroes in Super Friends. Hanna Barbera would add as many ethic heroes as they could, to stop the complaints... It had at least one good idea, when : Showing the whiners for political correctness, that there's too many ethnic groups to please them all, on any one single show (although Hanna Barbera were willing to try). Where the problems began : How do you please all ethnic groups...? Hanna Barbera added so many additional characters --even ones which were never in an actual comic book!-- that each character only had around 90 seconds of screen time a piece. This flip-book way of telling a story spoiled the whole show. Final cartoon quality : Not as good as the original seasons. The Beginning of the End was : ..."Apache Chief," the show's giant (literally) racial stereotype.

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