Techtite Feature Article!

Top 10 Worst, Most Overused Jokes in Modern "Comedy"

Once again, here's an intriguing Techtite Table Topic: What are the worst, most overused (not to mention annoying) jokes used in modern comedies? No, not Jar-Jar Binks; at least he's not been in more than one film (...yet!). There are jokes, almost as bad as Binks, that are not only bad; for some inexplicable reason, they're reused, over and over again! Here's my choices for the worst of such jokes, that are not only unfunny; anyone who puts them in a comedy has subjected that film to a possible mandatory thumbs-down at Techtite.com. It's Techtite's way of saying...enough! :

10) The Old Swearing Lady Joke/The Little Bratty Kid Joke (TIE). Summary: These were once considered two separate jokes, but it's basically the same thing: an old lady swears, and/or a little kid swears, and an audience is supposed to care. The swearing old lady joke might as well be called "The Ruth Gordon," although her career was far more elaborate than just that. However, you have to go to the jobs that are offered to you, so poor Miss Gordon was thrown in any number of lackluster 1970's comedies, with the same, insulting character cliché. The joke was simple : "Gosh, that old lady said a naughty word!" Was it funny? Nope; not ever. Yet how much funnier is it when some snot nosed little brat is swearing instead? Worst example of this joke : Clint Eastwood's Every Which Way But Loose.

9) The "First guy caught by crowd, second guy falls to ground" joke. Summary: This is seen time and time again lately. First "cool" character jumps into a crowd at a party and the crowd catches him/her, as they are carried via a "wave" of the crowd. Then the "not cool" character jumps into the crowd and hits the ground because nobody bothers to catch him. Oh...ha-ha-ha-ha-ha...NOT. Worst example of this joke : I can't believe that the "Olsen twins" approved of putting this joke in their latest movie, when this joke was old as far back as their very first baby tooth; maybe even earlier than that.

8) The "Idiot Man next to Genius Woman" Joke. Summary: I wince whenever I see that stupid Tylenol commercial, where the college boy grins like an idiot about his error in "headache medicine" to his brilliant girlfriend. "I like a guy who can admit he's wrong," says Miss Brainiac, smugly. After a pause to "think," Mr. Stupid-Face meekly says, "Well, hee-hee, I'm wrong a lot!" Arrrrgh! Regardless, this Rodham-Clintonized joke is rampant in commercials lately, where the woman is always in front of the computer on the internet, while the guy is doing something stupid nearby. Enough!

7) Sophomoric Sex Jokes. Summary: Not that I'm bad mouthing High School Sophomores; just the ones that make it embarrassing to be a sophomore. You know the guys I'm talking about! They suddenly had one biology class, and they feel like the Obi-freakin-Kenobi of sex...and start writing their own ridiculous, embarrassingly bad sex jokes. Some of these kids grow up to become script writers. Big surprise.  Worst example of this joke : Puberty-geeks seem to be totally enraptured at the thought that, gosh, Roman Catholic Nuns and Priests can't have sex. Ask yourself this, Beavis; when was the last time you had sex...? T

6) Potty humor. Summary: Is flatulence funny? That depends on the flatulence...and the age group. Any typical 6 year old is apparently totally fascinated by what sounds they can make down there. However, adults, after so much Tums and Kaopectate, are less inclined to see the humor anymore. Worst example of this joke : You knew he had to be mentioned somewhere on this list: in Star Wars E1, The Phantom Menace, Jar-Jar muses at the flatulence of an alien horse/camel/whatever. Jar says something like, "Mooie-mooie stinkie." I couldn't agree more.

5) Height/Weight Jokes. Summary: These jokes pretty much go hand in hand; some moron who thinks he's "just the right size" in life, poking fun at everyone he thinks is not.  Even when such jokes are supposed to be lighthearted, I don't think little people --or the obese-- see it that way. Best example of the right way to use little people is on TV's Seinfeld, where a recurring character wasn't tall, and yet...so what? Other comedians, however, think "size matters." Go figure. Worst example of this joke : Both Total Recall and Austin Powers 2, included --tee-hee!-- a little person just tall enough to attack a man's crotch. Speaking of Austin2, the "Fat Bastard" joke was beyond BAD.

4) Illegal Drug Use Jokes Summary: This is not meant as a "public service message," just an observation: jokes that promote drug use, are never funny. Ever. Period. End of story, dude. However, some ex-hippies from the '60s constantly want to tell us how cool it was to be brain dead. "Whoh, man, like, that was totally cool, the way I nearly jumped off a roof thinking I could fly." Sometimes, I wish they had. Worst example of this joke : Three words : Cheech and Chong. 

3) Non-P.C. Jokes. Summary: I don't know why, though apparently political incorrectness has made a bizarre comeback lately. The joke seems to be that they're poking fun at the joke when it wasn't meant to be a joke (whatever that means). Worst example of this joke : Dudley Do-right, where they poked fun at the old films that used Italians as Native Americans. Gee...funny.

2) Two Words: MTV Rejects. Summary: Judy Tenuta, Pauly Shore, et al. are all prominent examples of the total wastes of comedic oxygen that were thrown from the MTV channel abyss in the 1980s. Thankfully, MTV no longer has the clout to make a "star" out of someone who's more grating than talented. Gilbert Godfried, admittedly, is a member of this first-shown-on-MTV troupe, though you can interpret that as you will: is that an exception to the rule, or should I rest my case? It's your decision.

What's the worst of the worst overused jokes? My choice is firm :

1) The "could you please suck the poison from the wound?" joke. Summary: Was this joke ever funny? The punchline is based on the well-known nature survival tip, that when poisoned, its best to open the wound and suck the poison out. This concept is eerie enough, without some nitwit 12 year old asking how funnier it would be, if the poisonous wound was on someone's butt (or whatever). Sorry, kid; not funny. Worst example of this joke : Caddyshack 2, which basically ended the career of poor Dan Ackroyd.

...so, how do our lists compare? Are there jokes worse than this, that need to be given the heave-ho? If you want feel free to send your addendums to the list via Techtite's Letters page! 

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