Regardless of the hefty price airing a commercial during Superbowl Sunday, successful commercials are not an exact science. So, as the perfect companion to the Top Ten BEST SuperBowl Commercials this year, here were the royal stinkers:

The "Charlie's Angels 2" Teaser. The Gist of It: Regardless of being only slightly successful with the first film, Drew Barrymore, Cameron Diaz and Lucy Liu are back. Hoo-ray. Why the Commercial Fails: One of the best casting coups this time around is Demi Moore as an ex-Angel villain, and yet if you blink you'll miss the singular shot of her in this teaser. Meanwhile, the teaser reminds us that they've replaced Bill Murray with Bernie Mac, simply because Bill didn't get along with Lucy Liu. If you ask me, Lucy should've been the one to go.

Celine Dion's Chrysler commercial. The Gist Of It: The commercial that first aired during the Golden Globe Awards last week, comes back for the Superbowl. Wowee. Why the Commercial Fails: Celine doesn't even bother to write/sing an original song. As much as I like her singing voice, seeing her drive a car while singing is no big whoop. There's just not much of a "wow" factor to this ad, whose overall script --woman singing while driving her car-- could've just as easily been a commercial in 1975.

Ozzy meets the Osmonds. The Gist Of It: After the success of Pepsi Twist's hilarious Halle Berry/Barry Bostwick ad last year, this new Pepsi "Twist" ad is offered. Ozzy Osborne sees his kids morph into Donny and Marie Osmond, only to wake up from this "nightmare," to see his wife is really Mrs. Brady from The Brady Bunch. Why the Commercial Fails: If your kids were Ozzy's, would seeing them morph into Donny and Marie be a nightmare? Meanwhile, the truth hurts: I know I'll get flame mail for saying this, though the whole "Osbornes" fad is getting a little stale. Enough.

Dodge Rams perform Heimlich Maneuvers! The Gist Of It: Some guy chokes on what he's eating while his friend drives. The friend doesn't bother stopping the car; he just steps on the gas to go faster, then slams on the brakes. Choking guy's gut hits the dashboard, performing the "Heimlich Maneuver" so the guy spits the lodged food right onto the front windshield. Why the Commercial Fails: While fantasy is nothing new for car commercials, this guy would not only spit out his food if his gut smashed against the dashboard at 80MPH, though his entire lower intestine as well. What's worse: we get to see his half-chewed food, splattered across the windshield. It's enough to make us spit out our own beer and chips.

Subway's "Jared Commercial" #5,677. The Gist Of It: Okay, so maybe this isn't really the 5,677th commercial with Jared in it, promoting how he lost "a person and a half" in weight, eating low-fat Subway sandwiches. This time around, he dreams of a pretty girl and an announcement of Subway's new sandwich idea. He wakes to see the pretty girl, yet wanting to fulfill the rest of his dream, and get one of those cool Subway sandwiches. Why The Commercial Fails: This whole "geek dreams of cute girl and a sandwich, wakes up, sees cute girl, wants sandwich too"  sounds like a joke from the 1980's. This is 2003. We deserve better.

The Levi's Stampede. The Gist Of It: Two morons in jean wear top-to-bottom (yes, they're even wearing jean vests) see an approaching stampede. They hold hands and stand casually as the stampede passes by, not harming them at all. Why the Commercial Fails: Bo-RING! This is more of an ad for MTV's Jackass show than an ad that makes me want to buy jeans. I'd be more likely to buy Levi's if these idiots were trampled.

ONDCP, "Teen Pregnancy" warning. The GIst Of It: A middle-aged couple observes a home pregnancy test, to see it positive. The subtitles say these will be the youngest grandparents in town, as the pregnancy test is for their teenage daughter. So, is this an ad against promiscuity? Nope; "marihuana impairs judgment," claims the narrator, implying that the girl must've been on drugs when agreeing to have sex at 16... Why the Commercial Fails: I think the real problem with this anti-drug and anti-teen-pregnancy double whammy is because it tries to put all its eggs in one basket. I know, commercials during the superbowl cost a lot, sure, though that's no reason to combine your public service messages into one 30 second blurb that, when combined, makes less sense. If this girl's boyfriend used a condom, would the fact she used drugs be "less" of a problem...? Furthermore, if she wasn't on drugs, and she had sex on her own free will, would the fact she's pregnant be less of a problem? For an anti-drug message during the superbowl, this isn't a very good one.

AT&T Wireless "Gilligan's Island" parody. The Gist Of It: The shipwrecked crew of the SS Minnow is saved immediately, because Gilligan has a cellular phone and an M-Life phone plan. Why the Commercial Fails: Why couldn't Gilligan simply use any cellular phone at all? What makes "M-life" so special for potential castaways? One more thing: how much more fun would this commercial be, if it was an anti-static message and Gilligan asked for "a rescue plane" and got "a weather vane"...? Then the phone guy in a trench coat would say, "it's the static...though now, all your calls will be clear!" Now that's funny.

AOL broadband. The Gist Of It: If you had broadband America Online, after the game you could log on with friends and see your favorite commercials, all over again. Wowee! Why the Commercial Fails: Um, guys...? We'd prefer to see highlights of the GAME if we're going to pay broadband prices; not just the commercials! Meanwhile, what AOL does not bother to tell you is that this is not a feature exclusive to AOL. Sorry.

Pepsi "Dad likes rock, too" commercial. The Gist Of It: All I can get out of this ad is, some advertising exec saw the same old joke from a 1980's commercial about how sonny boy goes to a rock concert and sees his dad there. They decide to pass a remake of this joke as a Superbowl-worthy Pepsi commercial in 2003, and apparently, the folks at Pepsi were too senile to have remembered this joke used 1,001 times before. Why the Commercial Fails: Viewers have a better memory.

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