Techtite Feature Article!

 

 

"So, please, no pouring hot coffee on bad tippers....no cutting the rope of a little boy's kite...no attempts to bring back "van art"(!)...and, please, no Wang Chung reunion tour!"

--from the article

 

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Sidebar :

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The "Close Calls" Given all of the many times CBS went to commercial break in just the first 3 hours, it was actually surprising how few great new ads there were this year. Here were the lucky- 7 "also-rans" that nearly made the list:

---The Pizza Hut ad where Jessica Simpson shows The Muppets a new pizza: four little square pizzas in one box, all with different toppings! Cooooool.

---Van Helsing's Trailer, if just because its about a "Vampire Slayer," stars Hugh "Wolverine" Jackman.

---The Fed Ex commercial where a space alien is almost caught by his co-workers...if only "Use Fed-Ex" wasn't all he needed to say each day!

---The Bud Light commercial where one dog owner shows with pride how his dog can fetch a beer, only to have the other guy's smaller dog "get" a beer by biting the other guy where it counts. The beer flies out of the first guy's hands, and into the other guy's hands. Ha!

---The Pepsi "Busted Music Downloaders" Ad that shows how times change; Pepsi plans to allow teenagers  to download music off the internet legally. Good luck!

---The Pepsi ad where bears raid a cabin, find no soda to wash down the food, only to dress up like humans and try to buy a pack of Pepsi!

--- and last but not least: The ad where two elderly senior citizens fight to reach a fallen bag of Lay's Chips. The man wins the "race," only to see his opponent has his teeth. D'oh!

 

 

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In Association with Amazon.com

Top Ten Best Superbowl Commercials, 2004

 

A Techtite Feature Article

It's sad but true: Superbowl commercials have a tendency to be as interesting to watch as the game itself. Why? For one, advertisers want you to watch their commercials instead of using their ad time to go get more popcorn and chips! It also helps that the Superbowl is one of the few slam-dunk chances at Nielsen ratings for any commercial all year. As a result, such commercials are the first sign of what we'll be seeing over and over again all year...for better, or worse! Here are the ones that really made us smile...or at least kept us awake for half a minute!

NFL Network's "Tomorrow" ad. The Gist of It: In an ad for the new NFL network, all the stars that nearly made the super bowl sing "Tomorrow" a la Little Orphan Annie. It's only a day away... What Makes the Ad Work: The final caption is riotously optimistic: "As of tomorrow, we're all undefeated again!" That line makes the whole ad.

"Soap in Your Mouth" (Chevy). The Gist of It: Admittedly, Chevy's new convertible is an automotive wonder that, when the top folds down, has its roof fall neatly into a compartment near the trunk, only to have the lid of this compartment close until it's totally flush with the rest of the car! Trouble is: whenever a kid sees this their reaction is "Holy S----." Time for mom to wash those mouths out with soap! What Makes the Ad Work: I don't know how long the little motors of this feature would work properly --and in the Northeast, I could only use a convertible half a year anyway!-- but the concept is very cool.

Sierra Mist's "Good Dog!" 2004 The Gist of It: Obviously cloned from a similarly funny Sierra Mist commercial last year, A guy and his dog look below their apartment window and see a cool pitcher of ice water. The guy dives into the water and, not unlike a Warner Brothers cartoon, fits perfectly inside the pitcher except for his head peeking out of the top. The dog follows suit in the nearby glass of water. What Makes the Ad Work: Ever since Bugs Bunny tried it, who hasn't ever wanted to see a CGI version of the same visual gag?

Kerri & Misty Play Snow Volleyball (Visa). The Gist of It: Olympians Kerri and Misti strip from their snow gear into their Summer Olympian uniforms and attempt a game of volleyball...in the snow. "Can't wait until summer for the Olympic Games," asks the Visa announcer. "Neither can we." What Makes the Ad Work: Two hot ladies in skimpy Olympian gear playing volleyball? Point taken: I can't wait for summer!

"Randy the Supply Supervisor" (Staples). The Gist of It: Randy and his equally nerdish cohort act like something out of The Godfather as they dictate who gets what office supplies...and for what price. One guy finally brings them the muffin he promised and gets thrown a single paper clip as a "tip." Another person comes in with half a Danish, only to get "half a folder" (!). Then longtime mob-character-actor Joe Viterelli comes in with one of the office workers, saying they discovered Staples. Yeah, Staples, Randy. Your little supply office? Furgetuboutit! What Makes the Ad Work: Are you kidding? This was the best laugh I had in the whole Superbowl.

Subway's "Eat Bad...Don't BE Bad!". The Gist of It: Remember all those Subway commercials that said you can "be bad" once in a while as long as you eat Subway? Oops; they meant you can occasionally eat bad; not BE bad. So, please, no pouring hot coffee on bad tippers....no cutting the rope of a little boy's kite...no attempts to bring back "van art"(!)...and, please, no Wang Chung reunion tour! What Makes the Ad Work: Although this wasn't technically a "Superbowl commercial" because they slated it directly between the Bowl and the following Survivor episode (good idea, Subway!), it's still a funny ad, even if it isn't technically in the same time frame as other ads shown here.

Charmin Bear In The Game! The Gist of It: A little string of TP in a linebacker's pants causes some calamity on the field as various teammates attempt to feel how soft it is. Who could be responsible? Why, a Charmin Bear mascot, of course, who waves his little TP roll and then quickly makes a run for it as everyone chases him. What Makes the Ad Work: Mascots, for some reason, are always funny. A guy in a bear suit is always funny. Angry sportsmen chasing a mascot down the field? That's the funniest thing of all. This is one funny ad. Too bad it's only appropriate to air during a football game!

"Glass Freeze Pops," (American Legacy Foundation). The Gist of It: What if all companies sold their products like tobacco companies? Then you'd have companies like Shards Of Glass, who insist that they admit that their product is harmful. Yep. But, hey, it's only meant for adults! Remember that! The ad concludes with the ever-present "Truth" logo. What Makes the Ad Work: What's really interesting about this very effective public service ad, is how far the American Legacy Foundation went to make it authentic. Log into the web site mentioned on the ad ---www.ShardsOGlass.com--- and see what I mean!

"Wrong Lipstick!" The Gist of It: A guy says goodbye to his girlfriend only to see she forgot her lipstick. He races at the speed of sound to get to her, before her plane lands. Just when you think "Oh, right; another car ad showing how fast a car they have," the guy approaches his girlfriend with the lipstick only to have her reply, "That's not mine!" D'oh! Time to race home and have a Bud Light, guy. What Makes the Ad Work: Forget the farting horses next year, Bud; this is the sort of "funny" that we can all identify with.

"Homer Gets His Errands Done," Master-Card. The Gist of It: Who doesn't want a Simpson in a commercial? The narrator goes through all the things that Homer buys with his Master Card only to have Homer respond to every one of them. "75 BUCKS?!?" He exclaims for his haircut, while he forgets some things at the convenience store that the narrator mentions were on his shopping list, only to have Homer say, "Oh yeah; and what he said!" By the end, Homer is supposed to be home with his family --"priceless"-- as he has a beer at Moe's. Yeah, yeah, he's going home, okay? "Stupid announcer guy!" What Makes the Ad Work: Unlike the series these days, this 30 second commercial shows us The Simpsons has still "got it" when it matters.

 

...don't think we're just sucking up to a few advertisers, though. Some ads this year were pretty bad! Just check out the companion list of the 10 worst commercials this year; you'll see what I mean. Happy shopping...

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