Toy Collectors love Serpentor. They love his cloak (often made with real cloth), they love his snake gadgets, they love his Cobra-helmet. Yes, sir; if this was a "Top Ten Best Action Figures" list, I may very well put Serpentor on that list. However, this isn't a best toy action figure list; it's a list "honoring" The Worst Characters That Ever Happened to Great Cartoons. That's a shame, because when looking at the cartoon itself, Serpentor totally sucked.

The idea here was to give Cobra --the "ruthless terrorist organization determined to rule the world"-- a more ominous leader. Cobra Commander had been defeated by G.I. Joe so many times, he just wasn't that scary anymore. Of course, any G.I. Joe fan would tell you that was half the fun; Cobra Commander was sort of like "Dr. Evil" from Austin Powers, as the bad guy you loved to hate, imbecile that he was. However, story writers (allegedly) wanted more ominous stories, so they added Serpentor. Nice idea...if they could deliver on the "ominous stories" promise...

At least his introduction was cool. Serpentor was the result of a genetic experiment by Dr. Mindbender. Stealing the genetic material from the graves of some of history's most ruthless tyrants, they spliced this DNA to create a new Emperor, Serpentor. G.I. Joe was finished...literally.

Yes, literally. Upon Serpentor's incantation, the whole appeal of the series quickly tanked. This is due in no small part to the very reason Serpentor is cool as an action figure, not a character. While Serpentor was cool to look at, his entire back story could be written on an old bubble gum wrapper. He was a man with no real past. No surprise, there; Serpentor was in truth little more than genetic sludge come to life. Even less surprising was his range of dialog, which had him endlessly bellowing "This...I command!" Yeah...whatever.

As for "more ominous stories"...sorry, no. Serpentor would prove to be as much of a failure as Cobra Commander, if not worse. What's more; his plans were simplistic and banal. Even when Cobra Commander wanted to steal a laser beam weapon simply to etch his face onto the moon, it was a cool idea for a maniacal genius to think up such a vain plan. Serpentor, by comparison, did little more than build an aging machine that could make old people young, and young people old. Big whooping deal.

On to Worst Character, #4: It's a tank! It's a Top! It's a lame idea!