If there's one saving grace for most of the bad Super Bowl commercials this year, it's that the majority of them were "just" boring. Others were truly bad! Pop quiz, kids: if you were an advertising executive, would you feel that the best way to sell an eco-friendly car was to show people arrested, hurt, and humiliated for 30 seconds? How about the advertising company responsible for a "ninja" covered in Doritos chips? Yeah, I know; some people loved those two ads. If that isn't a good promotion for Budweiser, I don't know what is. No offense: if you enjoyed that Audi commercial, you might need to call a cab to drive you home, son.

Now, if you Googled your way to the bad news first, keep in mind: there were many commercials that were good this year. Also, as I say every year: if a commercial isn't on either list; look at the bright side! It might not have been the best...yet it was not the very worst, either! That said; here are the most disappointing Super Bowl commercials for 2010:

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The Green Police (Audi) The Gist of It: The Green Police are coming! Why? To slam your head against the grocery store counter, just for choosing plastic bags! To arrest you for using batteries! To taunt you for not arranging your recyclables like an obsessive compulsive nincompoop! Oh, wait: that cool dude driving an Audi? Move along! Good day, sir! Why the Commercial Fails: In every Super Bowl commercial roster there's one ad that attempts the "only nerds don't luuuuurve our product" route. These commercials are always epic fails.

Clydesdale's New Friend (Budweiser) The Gist of It: Rumor has it that Budweiser was going to mercifully retire the whole "Budweiser Clydesdale Horse" cliché, until an online fanboy demanded a new Clydesdale ad this year. So we get the story of a long horned bull who ran with a young Clydesdale when they were young. WHen he sees his old pal as a Budweiser horse, he smashes through a wooden fence so they can run together once again. Why the Commercial Fails: You have to give Taco Bell credit: when the Taco Bell Chihuahua was losing his edge, they moved on. Which is what Budweiser should do here. Move on, Bud. Speaking of which:

Baby Love Triangle? (E-Trade) The Gist of It: Good heavens; the talking babies are back on an E-Trade commercial, and this time they're engaged in a...love...triangle? Why the Commercial Fails: It's one thing to retread the same ancient and tired "talking baby" joke, that for some reason always reminds me of Baby Geniuses. Why is this so bad, you ask? First of all: Baby Geniuses was not just a bad movie; it is quite possibly one of the worst films of all time. Second: babies talking like passive aggressive twits isn't "cute." Third: a baby love triangle ? Ew.

Accord Crosstour (Honda) The Gist of It: Now we finally get to the commercials that didn't make me hate the product per se; they just didn't "sell" the product for me. Here's a fine example. A squirrel collecting nuts for winter is amazed at the cargo space of the new Honda Accord Crosstour. Hmm... Why the Commercial Fails: Look at the bright side: the "Green Police" were annoying. This is just...lacking. The Crosstour is roomy? Great...though what else?

The Gym Ninja (Doritos) The Gist of It: Guy steals Doritos from a guy's locker. Other guy says put it back, man, that's the locker of...the gym ninja! Suddenly guy number two is "killed" with a throwing star shaped like a Doritos chip. Then we see the "gym ninja," whose samurai outfit is made entirely of Doritos. Why the Commercial Fails: Are Doritos fun to eat? Absolutely. So why would the alleged "biggest fan" of Doritos waste so many of them on a goofy costume?

Better Paint (Hyandai) The Gist of It: A car's outer frame is dipped into paint like it was a hazelnut in a tub of chocolate. Wow. That's one good paint job. Why the Commercial Fails: Hey; don't blame me. It's not my fault so many bad commercials this year were by the car companies. However, while it's bad taste to kick someone when they're down; you would think that the car companies would come up with better reasons to buy a brand new car than "look at the paint job."

Buried Alive (Doritos) The Gist of It: Guy ecides that the best and most private place to eat his Doritos is a coffin. So what if his friends and family are crying. It's a bag of Doritos, man! Why the Commercial Fails: Remember when Doritos had a contest where amateurs could film their own Super Bowl Doritos commercial? All those commercials were free. So, dare one ask: what did Doritos pay for this: a commercial where someone hides in a coffin, and fakes his own death, just to enjoy a bag of Doritos from inside a coffin. That doesn’t even make any sense.

I Wear No Pants (Dockers) The Gist of It: I wear no pants. Why the Commercial Fails: I once again must critique a Super Bowl commercial for failing to connect point A to point B. Guy doesn't wear pants. Apparently it's time to wear pants. Why? Let me tell you: if this commercial starred a supermodel, it would suddenly not be time to wear pants! In fact; even if it's pants day, why must those pants be Dockers? This commercial never tells us.

Whale in the Car (Bridgestone) The Gist of It: Guys find a whale in their car. They slam on the brakes and the whale pops right out of the car and back into the ocean. Wow. What a bachelor party that must have been, huh? Why the Commercial Fails: Yes, I get it. Anybody who saw The Hangover gets it. Anybody who didn't...won't. There's also the little matter of how none of this makes any sense, nor does it make me want to go out and buy Bridgestone tires, though...whatever. Until next year...

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