Techtite Feature Article!

"Not only are the jokes old and tired: many of the jokes are ripped off from D-grade 1980's comedies, including, of all places, the Police Academy series (oh gee one sales girl talks too softly. Let me guess: by sweeps week she’ll be screaming 'Don’t move dirt bag!')."

---from the article

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Sidebar :

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"There are worse shows than this" retort, 2010 edition. Yes, there are worse shows than this, though this is about new shows on the four "main" networks. I.E.: these are shows from networks that should know better!

It's also important to note that this isn't an explicitly "worst of" list; just a list of the shows that are most likely to not succeed. Does that mean they are bad shows? Don't be too sure. FOX in particular seems to like to cancel the most promising shows (Wonderfalls, anyone?) while renewing Family Guy over and over. A show mentioned on this list doesn't mean the show WILL fail; just "might" fail. Of course; I say all fot his mostly for all the FOX fanboys each year that hate me for some reason whenever I mention something bad about an upcoming FOX series.

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Feel free to contribute. As always, review submissions are accepted!

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These are the new Fall TV shows each year that (based on what has been shown so far) either might not make it or, in the worst case scenario, should not make it! Such a list should mercifully be kept below a "top ten" however, which is why this list is kept to just the "unlucky seven." Fair enough? Let's get started...

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Outsourced (NBC, Thursdays at 9:30)  What's it about? “Hey! Let's make America’s high unemployment rates into a riotous new comedy!” What I'm not buying: Stop me when you hear something funny: an entire office space of hard working Americans gets fired while their jobs are outsourced. To make the "joke" worse: their jobs are not handed to better workers, though instead, to a bunch of incompetent jackasses. What's worse: Politically Incorrect? If only that was the biggest problem! Not only are the jokes old and tired: many of the jokes are ripped off from D-grade 1980's comedies, including, of all places, the Police Academy series (oh gee one sales girl talks too softly. Let me guess: by sweeps week she’ll be screaming “Don’t move dirt-bag!”). It might succeed, IF: Forget the sitcom: save the time slot! Bump Outsourced to the trash heap. Then bring in Perfect Couples: a "Friends for the next generation" style sitcom that NBC bumped to mid-season. What; did NBC want to prove they could make a mistake worse than Jay Leno at 10 o'clock?

My Generation (ABC, Thursdays at 8:00)  What's it about? "Your" Generation...? Sucks. What I'm not buying: Worst. Promos. EVER!!! First ABC offered those annoying ads that were text only. While I love reading; some nimrod had to add the most annoying "typing" sound effect, endlessly, throughout the entire commercial. Tikka-tikka-tikka-tikka-tikka, tikka-tikka-tikka, tikka-tikka-tikka-tikka. Arrrrgh! What's worse: If this is supposed to be "my" generation, why does it offer jokes older than grandpa's generation? In one scene a military man is showing his buddies a photo of his baby girl. “Isn’t that a boy” asks soldier #2. "Oh no," says soldier 1: "that’s the umbilical cord." Ask yourself which decade you first heard that joke. It might succeed, IF: Okay; in passing, I will say two pluses about this series. One: it is about a bunch of high school friends who reunite to rekindle old flames and old dreams. Two: it stars Jaime King; arguably one of the most likeable of Hollywood's sadly under-appreciated actresses. Can these two "pluses" make up for the series' annoying promo commercials? Time will tell...

Mike & Molly (CBS, Mondays at 9:30)  What's it about? Imagine if Roseanne was laughing at you, not with you. What I'm not buying: Frankly I am not buying that this sitcom about overweight people was made by anyone above the weight of 100. Most jokes hit way below the belt...and not in a funny way. What's worse: Before you say "overweight people in a sitcom! It's about time!" Keep in mind the concept was done for years on many successful sitcoms, including Roseanne, The King of Queens, and for that matter, The Honeymooners! Yet this series seems more like it's saying: "Wow! Overweight people can go on dates just like skinny people! Shocking!" It might succeed, IF: The Big Bang Theory looked like garbage to me back in the day, and is about to enter its fourth season. If viewer expectations remain lower than the calories of a rice cake, then yeah, this might succeed.

Raising Hope (FOX, Tuesdays at 9)  What's it about? Take the critically acclaimed comedy Raising Arizona, strip away all the originality and humor, and, basically, that's Raising Hope. What I'm not buying: True, this series comes from the same guys who made My Name Is Earl. However, consider this: did Earl ever endanger a baby's life? No. Earl was a halfwit whose shenanigans only affected other halfwits. In this series we're supposed to laugh because a baby's child safety seat was not fastened and the baby nearly gets killed in the process. If that sounds funny to this series' writers: might I suggest a vasectomy? What's worse: Okay, so maybe you believe a 20-something "redneck" cannot raise a baby properly. Though how long will it take before the joke dies out? For me the joke died out before I could finish typing this sentence.  It might succeed, IF: No offense though FOX is where every decent series concept is a one-season wonder and every lame-brained comedy concept lasts for 7+ seasons. So this series might succeed. Unfortunately.

Outlaw (NBC, Fridays at 10:00)  What's it about? Believe it or not; a former Supreme Court Judge decides to quit and start his own law firm. What I'm not buying: It has a good lead star; I'm just not buying that this is enough to keep the series afloat. Jimmy Smits plays Cyrus Garza, a supreme court justice who is upset at the direction law is taking so he quits his job as a supreme court judge, so he can change things. Time out, kids: why would a supreme court justice quit his position because he feels that he can "make a change"...elsewhere? Dude; if you could not change things as a supreme court judge, where might I ask can you change things? What's worse: Looking at the series premiere; the idea is that Garza can make a difference by being whiny. So basically he gives a monolog of the "have a heart" variety and hopes that the judge who handles his case is very sympathetic and "breaks the rules" for: Garza, the "outlaw" of justice! Oh, brother. It might succeed, IF: Jimmy Smits is perhaps the only actor who could make this lemon of a series concept into lemonade. If enough of his fans stay on board, sure, it might sell...for at least a full season, anyway.

Undercovers (NBC, Wednesdays at 8:00). What's it about? Mister and Mrs. Smith? Meet the Bickersons!  What I'm not buying: Okay, all you JJ Abrams fanboys out there. Yes, I know this is from the guy who brought you Lost. And Alias. And Felicity. Yet here he has created a show that wants us to believe that the two lead stars are former spies who are married. Ask yourself how you make two people look like they have been married for some time. Do you show them in romantic scenes with loads of chemistry together? Nah! Just show them bicker, quarrel, nitpick, argue and rant incessantly... What's worse: To be fair: I was on the bubble with this one for awhile, and was just about to put it in the "best" new shows list. Then I remembered the feeling I had when seeing the premiere of Lost, Alias, Felicity, etc. Did I feel the same way about this series' premiere? Well, here's your answer. Sorry. It might succeed, IF: First of all: nix the bickering! Second: the whole idea of the show is that the married spies are a team. So why write a scene where the wife is trying to get important information from an informant in her underwear, and her husband is sitting in the spy car making funny faces? Oh, I get it: she's engaging in what the series premiere constantly refers to as: "sexpionage!" Ugh. Speaking of which, here's my third tip!: do not use the word "sexpionage" again for the rest of the series. Please?

Running Wilde (FOX, Tuesdays at 9:30)  What's it about? Sitcom. Guy selfish. Girl is not. Love Ensues. Maybe. What I'm not buying: Okay; so maybe in any other romantic sitcom we could believe that Will Arnett (Arrested Development) could woo Keri Russell (Felicity). Not in this case, however! Steve Wilde (Arnett) is a selfish playboy jerk and Emmy Kadubic (Russell) is "an über-liberal humanitarian." I've heard of opposites attracting though...why should they, in this case? What's worse: In one of those oddball ideas that should've been scrapped: the whole series is narrated through the eyes of Emmy's 12 year old daughter. Imagine if Star Trek was told through the eyes of Wesley Crusher, and tell me this isn't a bad story concept.  It might succeed, IF: If enough Arrested Development fanboys are told that this series is "from the creator and star of Arrested Development," then yeah this series might succeed, though should it? A pompous arrogant playboy and a humanitarian...? Why am I rooting for such total polar opposites to get together? Anyone...?

---Techtite

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Too depressing...? Don't worry. It isn't all bad: Top 10 Most Intriguing New Shows, 2010