What is "My Two Bits?"

My Two Bits is the official editorial page for the editor of Techtite.com. Techtite will accept reader submissions, for reviews as well as any editorials deemed well written and pertinent to this web site's audience.

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No sidebar comments for this review. Yet.

My Two Bits for March, 2005 is titled :

How Bad Was Chris Rock, Seriously...?

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Not much happened in February in celebrity circles --at least not anything worth mentioning in an editorial-- so allow me to comment on one of the last big topics of February, on the second-last day of February: Chris Rock's host job at the Academy Awards. To put it mildly; it was not the best of times. Then again; it was hardly the worst of times. That is fair.

In fact; before we go into the many mistakes (accept it kids) that Chris Rock made, let me just name an unlucky seven moments of Oscar, right off the top of my head; just a taste of the many embarrassments of Oscar's winners, losers, guests, hosts and presenters, in the past quarter century alone:

• Vanessa Redgrave upon receiving an Academy Award in the mid 1970's, was so disliked for her politics that protesters burned her likeness in effigy outside the Academy Awards that year. Her decision to use her win as a "sign" that people were in agreement with her own petty politics was responded to not-too-kindly. In short, for arguably her entire adult life, her mainstream film career was pretty much over.
• Though I didn't dislike it so much myself, many people act like Rob Lowe singing alongside Snow White roughly 15 years back, was done in very bad taste; so much so, many attribute this as the cause for no more opening musical numbers prior to the Oscars each year.
• In the early 1970's, a then young and naive Dustin Hoffman was bad-mouthing Oscar, to the point where even presenter Frank SInatra one year spoke up about it, live, during the ceremony. When winning just a few short years later for Kramer vs. Kramer, people thought Dustin Hoffman win would suddenly mean he'd now "love" the Oscars...only to begin his very long winded speech with the prelude "I have been critical of the Academy through the years...and with reason!" You can imagine the speech that followed...and it was not pretty.
• Not to be outdone, but in a decade where clearly political statements were all the rage, it would be Marlon Brando who would "jump the shark," as Sasheen Littlefeather came on stage to politely reject his Best Actor Oscar award.
• Michael Moore. 2003. You know what I mean...!
• Sally Field: "You like me...! You really really like me!"
• Do I really have to continue listing such embarrassments...? No...? Thank you kindly.

...so, making a long list short; yes, this year's Oscar night was hardly he worst. In fact, many people simply expected the evening to be a flop, when Chris flamboyantly (no jokes please) called the Oscars a "gay" fashion show that "no black man" would bother watching. That was silly. Somebody gives a man with a very shaky film career his chance to be in front of one of the biggest worldwide audiences of the year, and all he can do is bad mouth it? That was out of line.

Now, mind you, I was hardly "waiting" for Chris to fall on his face on Oscar night, but what I really did not like was seeing the oh-so-pompous audience give Chris a standing ovation as he walked on stage, before he even said a word. This moment of outright utmost pomposity would outshine any of the many ill received "jokes" Chris offered all evening. Standing ovation indeed.

As for Rock himself, as the host: Where was the funny? Perhaps it came when hearing the deafening sound of an audience which just gave a standing ovation to a man who immediately began ribbing them, mercilessly. What does Chris Rock have against Jude Law? I mean come on; Alfie wasn't Shakespeare but it was hardly Gigli. It wasn't even as bad as Lethal Weapon 4, Chris, so I'd be more polite! It was indicative of the hosting job Chris would offer though; an evening where Sean Penn would defend his current fellow co-star while on stage, while Tim Robbins would, off-camera, simply give Chris the bird. You really know you're doing poorly as host when the presenters attempt to flick you off while on stage. That's pretty bad Mr. Rock.

That being said: does Chris Rock deserve a second chance...? Let's just say David Letterman deserves a second chance first. This isn't facetious. After years of condemning David Letterman for having ever hosted this show one must look at Chris' performance this year and ask what David did that was so terribly ill conceived. Was Chris' "man on the street" shtick any better than David's Silly Pet Trick shtick? No. Was Chris' opening monologue any funnier than hearing "Uma...Oprah!" half a dozen times? No. Then one must ask why Dave isn't asked back before Chris ever is...? I'm just asking.

Mind you; it's late, it's over, and as the very minutes tick away I'm caring a lot less about whatever happened on Oscar night this year, every later minute. Who won is often proceeded with a "Who cares" because there was simply nobody to root for this year. Unfortunately that includes this year's choice of Oscar night host, and that is perhaps half of the problem.

As Always: I'm Techtite, and these are My Two Bits...