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What is "My Two Bits?" My Two Bits is the official editorial page for the editor of Techtite.com. Techtite will accept reader submissions, for reviews as well as any editorials deemed well written and pertinent to this web site's audience. ----------------- A Sampling Of Past Editorials: ---DEATH to pop-up window commercials! ---This Editorial Can Be Closed By Clicking This TINY LITTLE DOT! ---Paranoia, Box Office Destroy-a... ---Why Lara Croft Won't Do Playboy(!). ---What's in Your Wallet Brain? ---Baby, If You Ever Wondered What 'ART' Is... ---Season Finale Reactions: '07 ---Big Brother 8: Edited for Sanity ------------------ Sidebar: -------------------- No sidebar comments for this review. Yet. |
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My latest Two Bits to share: What the...hey?A "Desperate Housewives" Season 5 Rant.Spoiler Warning! Clearly this is an editorial about a show that recently aired. If you're the type who will often Tivo a show and watch it weeks later, not wanting to have anything "spoiled," don't read beyond this point, okay...? ------------------------------------------------------------------- Sorry for no My 2 Bits over the summer. It was a rather oddball summer for me due to reasons that are a little personal and too family oriented to share here. So let's just jump to the fact that it's the new fall season and there's a lot of new entertainment-oriented editorializing to type out. Here we go... As I type this it's September 28th (2008, just in case you're reading this editorial years from now) and I'm watching Desperate Housewives. I've heard all the warnings about this season. Without taking the time to link to the exact quotes: it appears that the writers of this show saw how Lost jumped ahead a few years and wanted to do the same thing. The problem is: that's sort of like Ugly Betty trying to take tips from CSI. They're two totally different shows! So suddenly it's 5 years in the future for Bree, Susan, and the rest of the gang. At least I knew all about that beforehand, so this was hardly a shock. For the most part, the 5 year time jump is no big deal. Fashion choices, hairstyles, and basic storylines remain the same. The only obvious change: the kids were recast. Bree and Gabby's infant babies are now 5. The young boys in the Scavo clan are now teenagers. Other than that, Bree is still a bit obsessive compulsive, Gabby is still a bit self absorbed, Susan is still a bit quirky, and Mr. Scavo still takes his wife's verbal abuse like a whipped puppy. If that's the Desperate Housewives you love; little has changed. So what's gone so very wrong here? Let's start with the kids. In the original storyline, the two Scavo twins were hardly Emmy worthy, yet they were at they very least cute enough to make their mischievous ways entertaining. Now they are recast as teenagers and this demands that they are recast with talented twin actors. There's no gentle way of saying this so let's just admit how obvious it is that this is the first acting job for these guys. While the same can be said for the younger boys; they were kids. Furthermore; as kids, their pranks were funny. The storyline of these twins doing mischievous things as teenagers...? That doesn't work. I can presume this storyline was meant as a salute to high school comedies, though...nope, it doesn't work at all. Then there's Gabby's daughter, who is no longer an infant, and is now 5 and severely overweight. Don't shoot the messenger; it's the show that insults this poor kid, not me. The writers have made this poor girl into a total stereotype against fat kids. How could Gabby's kid get so fat? Given how emaciated Gabby is, it's surprising there's enough food in her home to feed an adult gerbil. Yet supposedly her child is fat, and what's worse; the "jokes" written about this poor girl are nothing short of cruel...for the girl, and the viewer. See the fat little girl lack the common intelligence to wipe frosting from her mouth after a birthday party. She can't run 5 yards without panting. She wears a summer dress and looks...like a little girl. Strike one point for this young actress, and two points against the writers! What is the point of this storyline? Is the idea that all little girls must look like Gabby or be "losers," or is the idea that little girls should eat a full meal and vomit it out intentionally so they can be "secure" and "pretty" and "fit in"...? This is perhaps the stupidest storyline I've seen in the whole 2008 TV season...and this is from someone who has just reviewed Worst Week! Typically, I guess I should now go over each of the Housewives one by one, though you know; I really don't want to, and that's a review by itself. Of course, based on last season; what could anyone expect? I think it's saying something when the writers could not even instill any emotional resonance into Lynette's cancer fight last season. This season, the only housewife who seems to have changed at all is the housewife who didn't need changing! To wit: lovable danger prone Susan (Teri Hatcher) is now large, in charge, and separated from husband Michael. Why? Apparently he fixed the car brakes improperly and they got into an accident. Is it really Susan's place to belittle Michael about making a mistake...? This from the most danger prone woman in all Wisteria Lane. She set her neighbor's house on fire! She got locked outside of her home naked! She got covered with her neighbor's cremated ashes...and don't even get me started as to how. She is, for all intent, this series' comedy relief. Now she's the "sensible one" for some reason, and that means ditching Michael. While this is brilliant for Michael, it makes Susan look stupid as usual...though not as funny. We used to depend on Susan for any laughs in this "comedy." Now she's just plain boring. Can this series be saved? Well, my favorite character is now the most annoying, and the other characters are as boring as ever. Did I mention this season was supposed to be a "fresh start"...? Well, a season later when the cast and crew must begin their careers anew with other projects; yes, then this will count as a "fresh start." I began this editorial asking, in essence, what went wrong here. Now that I think about the series premiere, I don't care. As Always: I'm Techtite,
and these are My Two Bits...
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