What is "My Two Bits?"

My Two Bits is the official editorial page for the editor of Techtite.com. Techtite will accept reader submissions, for reviews as well as any editorials deemed well written and pertinent to this web site's audience.

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"My Two Bits" for October, 2002 are titled :

Why "Ludicrous GIBS!" is Cool and "Suggestive Themes" is Banned.

Sex sells...sort of. Well, yeah, violence sells even more, though nobody likes to admit that. Don't argue: the typical slasher film gets millions of dollars and a whole lot of people mentioning its "grit," while a campy flick like Striptease gets lambasted as if Demi Moore nude is a sin against all humankind. This applies to games as well; While a gladiatorial bloodfest like Unreal Tournament 2003 is sold in every major department store without care, many of them are forbidding the sale of a simple bike game with brief nudity in it. They think the chance that your teenager may play a game that involves slicing, dicing, and pureeing your victims is an acceptable risk, yet seeing a woman's cleavage is not. Hmmmm...

Consider the latest game to be banned; BMX XXX. To be fair, what we have here is a cheap sales ploy for a cheap game. Sans nudity, you're left with college kids riding bikes through various obstacles. Too boring? Well, then, why not add jokes of the Farrelly-brothers variety, including obstacles like dogs in heat and female bikers who lose their tops. If that sounds like fun, well, then, buy this game. Both of you.

However, does such a game have to be banned from sale...? That's the debate heard all across the internet these days, when some discount store chains like Wal-Mart have refused to sell BMX in their stores. I admit, I don't want a pre-teen boy (or girl, for that matter) watching sexually explicit material. On the other hand, what about the violent games? While the folks at Wal-mart high-five each other for protecting your kids from the big bad topless girl riding a bike, why do they sell games like Grand Theft Auto, where hookers roam the streets as you steal a few cars at gunpoint? Heck, they even sell The Thing, which in my review I admitted was a particularly gritty thriller, though I'd hardly let a kid under 16 play it. Wal-mart puts games like this at arms-reach of an 8-year-old, yet ban a biking game. Gee, good job protecting our children, guys...sort of.

Now, it's not like I'm a hypocrite here. I review games all the time, and many of them are R-rated "interactive thrillers." However, it is a tad apprehensive to note how easily I buy such games, as do kids 20 years my junior. In Unreal Tournament 2003, the more you kill means the arena's announcer compliments your work: "Killlling Spreeee!"..."Unstoppable!"..."Wicked Sick!" To various shopping marts, this game isn't in need of being "banned," yet a topless chick on a bicycle is (no; I'm not done repeating the irony, here). I suppose if that same bicycle chick was sporting a flame-thrower as she turned all pedestrians into ash, suddenly it would be considered a suitable game...? Come on.

As I've said before: this is not a cry for pacifism. This is not a cry to have the Tyrannosaurus Rex in Turok get a wet, sloppy kiss. Nor do I want to see a medieval hero unsheathe his sword, approach the villain killing all his friends...then turn to the screen and ask the player, "What's my motivation?" Be this as it may, I don't like censorship, period. If BMX XXX is garbage --which it quite probably is-- then send out a memo saying you won't sell it because it sucks, not because you're "protecting me" from my own bad choices or some other fiddle-faddle. Don't act like you're "protecting our children" by preventing kids to see nudity on the back of one box, while allowing them to see a bloody corpse on numerous other boxes. There are many things I'd like kids to be protected from seeing. Topless bicycle riders...? In a crazy world, that's the least of your worries.

Once again, I'm Techtite, and these are My Two Bits...