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Robocop 2
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The Film :
Robocop 2 should go down in history as one of the lowest
of lows in science fiction sequels. Much like the Highlander sequels,
fans often ask if those crewmen behind Robocop 2 had even seen
the first film itself. This was a truly, awfully made sequel. What
makes this all the more of a shock to the "Empire Strikes Back
was a better Star Wars than even the first film" chest-thumpers is
that this sequel was directed by none other than Irvin Kershner. Everyone
who wondered if Empire Strikes Back was either a perfect story with
perfect actors or was just perfectly directed: take a gander at this film.
Without a decent script, even the great Irvin Kershner cannot save this
menagerie of action movie mishaps. Yes, kids, this is what this means:
this film had all the main characters return, had Irvin Kershner in the
director seat, and still sucked so bad it could be named as the first
terrestrial black hole. What went so
horribly wrong here? Not unlike the sequel to Ghostbusters,
Robocop's sequel had one tiny problem: some half wit made a cartoon about
the film. So someone thought that they should make a film that appeals to
fans of the cartoon over the fans of the actual movie series. Here's where
problems with this plan begin: the film was R-rated! How stupid is it to make a sequel that is meant to appeal to
little kiddies, yet still keep the film R-rated? That's just silly. How
bad was the story? Here's one of many possible synopsis:
OCP (the military-science corporation that created Robocop) wants to make
more Robocops. Thinking that all they need is a human brain for the
formula, and not an
actual "cop," they decide to simply use the brain of a drug
kingpin named Cain (Tom Noonan), who coincidentally, was recently killed
by Robocop. Trouble is, much like Robocop in the first film, they could
erase his memories but not his emotions. They end up making an evil Robo-drug-kingpin
(I kid you not) who promptly goes on a rampage, with the primary goal
being revenge on Robocop. Here's
where bad goes to worst; the aforementioned story, at best, could only
lead to a film lasting half an hour, so they
water down this 117 minute film with subplots either totally irrelevant to the core story, or not
worth telling at all (take your pick). In
one plot thread, we learn that OCP's CEO, nicknamed "The Old
Man" (Dan O'Herlihy)
isn't as kindly as he appeared in the first film. In fact, he's living it
up in hot tubs with young ladies. I'm sorry; did I really need to see an
"Old Man" in a hot tub? Likewise for the scene when Robocop gets
kidnapped. Yes; kidnapped! They actually succeed in kidnapping a robot
that in the first film looked like he weighed two tons. Then there's the kid who's some
sort of child genius (just what a 1990 film needed: another Wesley
Crusher...feh). I think you
really begin to know you're watching a really bad turkey, when you see...that...scene.
It's the scene that should've been left on the cutting room floor, swept
up, and its remains burned, only to have all cast and crew responsible
sign non-disclosure agreements under penalty of a one million dollar fine
if they ever mentioned the scene in polite company. That scene for Robocop
2 would be: seeing the "surgeons" remove Cain's brain from his
body, complete with spine and eyeballs (!!!), only to see this cheap-FX in
a lab jar, looking for all intent like a Muppet Movie reject on hard
drugs. What makes this scene all the more stupid is how director Kershner
obviously wanted us to look in the eyes of this "madman" and see
how stupid it was to put this evil brain in the ominous robo-body that the
brain was now staring at. That's pretty hard to do when this "brain
with two eyeballs on it" looked less frightening than Miss Piggy. Muppet-like
brains in liquid jars notwithstanding, this resulting sequel was not unlike Superman 3,
or even Alien 3. Much like the Worst Sequels in Movie History, what was once a serious minded film
series was given so many jokes, it was practically a comedy. What's worse;
it just sucks.
---Techtite
The DVD :
How sad is sad? There are extras even in the worst movies of all
time like "Freddy Got Fingered," yet there isn't a single shred
of extras here. That's just sad. No wonder Peter Weller wanted out.
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title) to order this DVD
| All text, Title
graphics, and pix not of reviewed products, are created by Techtite,
copyright 1999-2001; all rights reserved. Picture of DVD cover is used only for the purpose of review (and to make shopping for
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and the distributors of this product. For further "legalese"
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