Let's first look at the 1970's cartoon, which involved a traveling rock band : Josie (a sort of innocent, redheaded "Marcia Brady"), Melody (a bubbly blonde drummer), and Valerie (the "smart Charlie's Angel" of the group). In tow was their pet cat mascot, Sebastian (whose antics often would steal the show), Josie's hunky boyfriend Alan, the hippie-looking, sunglass-wearing manager, Alex, and his sister, Alexandra, who'd always try to get Josie's boyfriend away from her. Along the way to their next gig, they'd get involved in some madman's plot to (of course) rule the world, only to thwart these forces of evil, in rather amusing, hilarious ways. In the end, they'd always have time to sing in their next concert, and --though perhaps it's just the delirium caused by overly-artificial 1970's cereal talking-- I felt most of the songs were even pretty good!

This live-action remake is a little different. No, make that a lot different. Let's start off with the pussycats' costumes; they don't have any! This is a subtle-yet-trademark aspect of Josie & the Pussycats: their unique, leopard-spotted cat suits worn while playing their songs (and often, while fighting crimes)...yet this film's costume department decided to eliminate these trademark costumes, almost entirely. These "pussycats" are only distinguished by little, tiny cat-ears in their hair, that you can't even see most of the time. This is not a costume upgrade; it's a downgrade! If you think this is just a tiny detail, ask yourself how successful Superman would have been, if someone decided that he would look more modern in Levi's and a ripped T-shirt with a spray painted "S" on it. WRONG.

The lack of cat outfits is actually one small detail among many, which soon cascade into a sad question; is this a "Josie & the Pussycats" film at all? At times, it might as well be some-other-band-movie, with the "Josie & the Pussycats" logo tacked onto it. Aside from lead characters whose names are from the comic book, the overall film lacks any apparent respect for the comic-inspired subject matter. There is even less respect for some of the cartoon's supporting characters: Alan, Alexandra, Alexander...and especially Sebastian the cat! A smart comic-to-film producer would've hired pet trainers (or CGI FX) to add Sebastian, much like Stanley Ipkiss' hilarious dog Milo in The Mask. With only a "paltry" 20 million dollars to work with, Sebastian is completely absent from the film, as are any of the comedic moments he could have provided. Hiss!

With such a low budget, the villains are watered down as well. The ne'er-do-wells are music managers who are attempting to put subliminal messages in the songs. Apparently, a "subliminal" message in a song is worse than any message the singer is already trying to convey, so Josie must put a stop to this; teens should listen to her messages in her songs, not theirs. Uh-huh...sure. One wonders how much worse a subliminal message on an Eminem song would be from the actual lyrics, though I digress. The idea here is to satirize how music "tells" kids what to buy, wear, or even eat. However, in the end, isn't it their choice what band is their favorite? It's even more silly when the plotline belittles "Du jour," rubber-stamp, modern music bands, in a movie that made the formerly-unique Pussycats into such a cliché modern music band.

Casting is good enough to keep the film from "Burnout" status. Rachel Leigh Cook makes a appealing, charming Josie, as does Tara Reid as the adorably bubbly Melody and Rosario Dawson as the brainy-yet-vulnerable Valerie. Parker Posey assists in making the bad guys look nastier, though she seems a little wasted in the role (imagine what a great super-villain she might have made, with a superior script). None of these actors need to be ashamed of their acting here; the only problems were in the production and direction, not the actors themselves. An amateur critic on the Internet Movie Database really hit the nail on the head more than any professional critic so far; "the characters' relationships [in the cartoon] were much better drawn." Well said!

If given the respect of Superman, X-men, The Mask, or even Casper, Josie & the Pussycats could have been a tour-de-force. Unfortunately, such respect is lacking. It has been said that the folks behind this film --whose most memorable prior work is A Very Brady Sequel-- refused this project several times, and it shows; they obviously had their minds on another project they probably preferred to be doing elsewhere. One wonders if they even saw the cartoon once, instead of basing a whole film on what was "explained" in a one-page business memo. Maybe someday, Josie and her Pussycats will get the respectful live-action film they deserve. Sadly, that time is not now.