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Techtite's DVD Reviews! |
"It's like watching a cheap Warner Brothers Cartoon rip-off, only to have a Disney Cartoon's rip-off cheaply cut and pasted at the end." ---From the review ----------------- Feel free to contribute. As always, review submissions are accepted! ------------------
Want a classic teen comedy? How about Fast Times at Ridgemont High, now on DVD! ------------- Sidebar :: ------------- Why the "R" rating...? Oh, yeah, the "f" word... I'm reminded of the classic B-grade video, Attack of the Killer Tomatoes. Near the middle of that film --which, yes, was little more than tomatoes being rolled down hills as people ran screaming-- a news reporter comes on screen. He informs the viewer of how their marketing department has discovered that R rated films do better at the box office. With a grin, the newscaster says, "With that in mind...[bleep] you!" Such is the case with Smoochy, where just about every word out of William's mouth is of the four-letter variety. While it might've been a thrill for junior high schoolers to see Mork from Ork with a potty mouth in 1982, this is twenty years later. This is just to sell more movie tickets for people intrigued at an "R" rated comedy, and it's pretty lame. |
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Death to SmoochyClick title to order the film (widescreen edition) For full-screen order link, see review. A Techtite ReviewThe Film: Robin Williams is a lot like nitro glycerin; respect the volatility of what you're working with, and you have a powerfully productive material in your hands. However, any shaky project will explode in your face. Death to Smoochy is signs of the latter. It's a film with so much celebrity muscle, most weaker critics will give it marginal-thumbs-up just on principle. Perhaps they should; it's definitely not the worst film of 2002. On the other hand, to me, it's a very close second. The story is just plain weak. Rainbow Randolph Smiley (Robin Williams) is a children's TV celebrity who is nothing like his TV persona. So, what else is new? I mean, did anyone cringe when they heard that Captain Kangaroo wasn't really a captain? Come on. Regardless, he's caught accepting money to put a child on the air, which is bad, I presume, because the studio he works for should receive a percentage of all bribes (if sarcasm like that is too mean spirited for you; stop thinking about seeing this film, now). In short, he's caught accepting the bribe, gets fired, and is soon replaced with a kindler, gentler, Barney the Dinosaur rip-off named Sheldon "Smoochy" Mopes (Edward Norton). Of course, Randolph wants to get even, and is willing to go to the outer limits to do so. While this could lead to a nice slapstick comedy about smear campaigns, it leads to few jokes at all. This joke count reduces even further, when Randolph flips his wheels completely, and wishes to cause "death to Smoochy" (hence the title). While even this dark plotline could lead to comedy --in a Warner Brothers cartoon sort of way-- it is treated heavy-handedly; as if every viewer who sees Edward Norton in a purple animal costume would want to draw blood. Sorry; the worst I ever feel about Barney the Dinosaur, much like this film, is to just switch to another show. It doesn't help that this film is given a tacked-on, phoned-in ending that, quite frankly, should have been tacked on to some other film. It's like watching a cheap Warner Brothers Cartoon rip-off, only to have a Disney Cartoon's rip-off cheaply cut and pasted at the end. Of course, if this film intended the Warner Brothers cartoon route, it should've known that the secret to such comedy is in the damage to the antagonist. Anvils fall onto the coyote's head before he can reach the road runner, making him into a walking accordion; in cartoons, that's funny stuff. Likewise for Home Alone, where you gradually see the criminals with the injuries of each booby trap: dirty bare feet, a smoldering bald spot on the head, or a bunch of feathers continuously falling off their torso. In this film, Williams gets thrown around a lot, yet seems almost like Superman with how few bones are broken. So much for the slapstick comedy angle... The film is directed by Danny DeVito, who I've finally decided is too bitter of a director to give any more "comedy" scripts. His track record begins with the aptly named Throw Momma From the Train, and goes down the tracks from there. His most widely known comedy, The War of the Roses, even implied that Romancing the Stone's Kathleen Turner and Michael Douglas (who starred as lovers in both films) only wound up wanting to kill each other. That was bitter-tasting enough, without seeing some former children's TV star want to cause bodily harm to another children's TV star. It just never works that way. Any "celebrity" who would work for peanuts just to entertain the little tykes of the world, is rarely heartless and bitter deep inside; if that were the case, they'd be making movies like this. In conclusion, I can only say that it takes films this artistically BAD to achieve cult status with the movie liberals who don't like being told what not to like. Once again, the cliché is offered: "Don't listen to critics! See this film and judge for yourself!" The problem is, DUH; that's what reviews are for! I can only tell you how disappointed I was, personally, when seeing this film; you're on your own from here. If you insist on defending this film, be specific, not poetic: think of one, single, solitary, decent scene from this film. Mention it. If you cannot, then be honest, and tell everyone what I'm telling them here; wait until this film is on cable TV, for "free," and then decide for yourself how bad it is. You've been warned. The DVD: In the interest of fairness, I will list the DVD's offerings here. However, I am not paid enough as a friendly neighborhood web site movie critic, to endure seeing this film on DVD. So, I'll just list the extras and hope someone dares to send a review submission with more data. You're welcome in advance...presuming anybody is still reading this very negative review! First of all, as if cheating theater patrons out of their money wasn't bad enough, this is another DVD attempting a last-ditch profit for separate Fullscreen Edition and Widescreen edition. Nice try, guys, though I doubt anybody is stupid enough to buy two versions of THIS. Hey, though, I'm not about to keep the bold and daring from buying at least one copy of either edition: if you so wish, click the order links in this paragraph. However, I dare repeat, you've been warned. As for me, I'll just list the bonuses real fast. Audio commentary by Danny DeVito and Director of Photography Anastas Michos. Theatrical trailers. Extended scenes, bloopers and outtakes for those who never have enough. Behind the scenes documentary. An "Interactive Ice Show" playable on your DVD player. A "Magic Cookie Bag" Gallery. Web links to online games related to the film. Last and not least, a hidden scene for hidden features fans. Man, this is admittedly some nice bonus materials. It just isn't fair, a film like this given extras like this, while other decent films have barely any to speak about. Talk about bad; this film has made me depressed all over again, and I didn't even have to rent the DVD! As Dennis Miller would say, I am outta here...
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