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"This is not Bewitched at all. If anything it's bewildered."

--from the article

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Bewitched (2005)

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By Guest Critic Bill Bored

Hello techs. Bill Bored here with another comedy movie review. This week's latest offering is Bewitched. Let me begin by saying I'm a second generation fan of the original TV series. My parents watched it when it first aired while I saw it later in syndication. It was great.

The film tells the story of Jack Wyatt (Will Ferrell). Yes, I know. The original TV series had no "Jack Wyatt" but that is the story here. Jack wants to make a comeback by starring as Darren, in a new "Bewitched." All he needs is someone to play the role of Darren's wife in the series, Samantha. He chooses Isabel Bigalow (Nicole Kidman), for no reason than she can twitch her nose on cue. Well actually there is another reason but Isabel is unaware of it yet. Jack chose her because she isn't a real actress, making Jack the lead star.

The twist here requires mild spoilers, because without them there would be no link to the original series. Here it comes. Isabel is an actual witch. Much like Samantha she is a good witch who is trying to meet the love of her life without the aid of love potions. As you can expect without me spoiling anything, that man is now Jack. That's like the series, kinda.

Little else is like the series at all, which will alienate most fans. This is so much unlike the series they should've played with the title to signify this. Maybe they could've called it Bewitching Darren Stevens because the entire film centers on Jack's quest to be that character. They could've even called it Bewitched Bewitched because that's the sort of double entendre attempted. However the end result is not a double entendre as much as a double negative. Placing Bewitched as a film within the film does not make this film worthy of the name.

Yes I know that Darren was originally pitched to Jim Carrey. This makes Will Ferrell the second choice. A second choice is often shrugged off with a "He did his best" reaction. However as a fan of Saturday Night Live I'd say he actually didn't do his best at all. I remember a comedy called Housesitter where Steve Martin did a similar phoned in performance. If you have that movie on your DVD shelf you'll be putting Bewitched right next to it. Much like that movie I was left wondering what a younger and more daring Will Ferrell would've done with the role.

This brings us to Isabel/Samantha. Similarly Nicole Kidman was not their first choice. She wasn't even their second or third, with the list of actresses sought for "Sam" including: Jennifer Aniston, Gwyneth Paltrow, Cameron Diaz, and Alicia Silverstone. Fans may disagree but I feel Nicole was totally wrong for the role. If Stepford Wives is any indication she isn't a good comedienne. That's what this role needed. I also take offense at the film's apparent message, that anyone who can twitch her nose would be an acceptable Samantha. There was a lot more to Elisabeth Montgomery's performance than that.

Put these two lovebirds together and you have problem number three. Kidman and Ferrell are like ice cream and ketchup together. However the real problem with this romance comedy is beyond Ferrell and Kidman's control. Director Nora Ephron once made us believe a young Meg Ryan could fall for a young Billy Crystal, in When Harry Met Sally. That was believable because they were both nice people. This film portrays Jack as an insensitive bore and Isabel as a mischievous prankster. I don't care if they ever wound up together. For a love story that is not good.

Do you get the feeling I didn't like this movie? Well I didn't. It's supposed to be as funny as the sitcom and it isn't funny at all. It's supposed to be as sweet yet it's only more saccharine. It's supposed to be a retelling and it's a different story altogether. This is not Bewitched at all. If anything it's bewildered.

---Bill Bored

The DVD: Editor's Note: You can forgive a guest critic for not re-reviewing the DVD of a film for its extra material, if he didn't like the film to begin with. That's not required of our guest critics, of whom you can be one too, if you like. Anyway: in this case it would seem to not matter, because there is no record of any bonus features on this disc at all. Not that there isn't any; it just isn't listed on our records and as for checking to make sure...we'd rather not.

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