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The Rocky Road to R-Rated "sexy" game success

Can you mention one single game with semi-nude main female characters, that has succeeded? Most seem to be made merely as conversation pieces in the bargain bin. Others are just plain poorly made. Here's a short list of the "three strikes" most talked about in BAD R-rated gaming:

---Meat Puppet. Simply put, this was the 2D game with more sluggishness than a non accelerated 3D title!

---Man Enough. Tsunami software is no longer in business. If you feel bad about that, you never played this game.

---Riana Rouge. Instant death puzzles were a pain, though at least this was an R-rated game that delivered on the R-rating, presuming that's really a good thing to you.

"How Bad is a BAD Walkthrough?"

...if the walkthrough is the one offered by Microids --cut and pasted all over the net-- the answer is: pretty bad! Some solutions to the puzzles are worthless; particularly their solution to the waterway jumping blocks in the fourth memory/level. However, that's not the worst of it. By level 10, they forget to mention that the level cannot be completed until you solve an incomprehensible "untangle the colored wires" puzzle, which I solved simply via dumb luck. Then it tells you to "invert the axis" on the maps for chapter 11, which is pure hogwash; just follow the path drawn on the maps in your inventory, and you'll be fine. Still, the walkthrough is a nice "outline" of sorts, to show you if you're going the right way when you're lost. Thanks...I guess.

"A Nude Code that's NOT a Joke..."

...well, at least THAT'S something, right...? In the incongruous code menu screen when the game first begins (the monitor at the far left), enter the code "CHEATON" and press confirm. Then in game, press F2 and choose any of five alternate outfits, by typing in Druuna1 or an alternate number from 2-5. Druuna 1 is the nude code. Sadly, however, I've seen amateur texture patches, to games like Drakan and Fakk2 with better "nudity" than this. Strike three for this game, I say...

What would happen if an adventure game concept from 1989 was held over for a dozen years, allowing it to use all the bells and whistles of modern 3D gaming? If the game is Druuna: Morbus Gravis, the answer would be a mixed bag. Playing this game was like reading a book in a swimming pool. Even if the subject matter is worthwhile, the difficulty in finishing the story is downright frustrating. Then you look at how watered down Druuna's sensuality is in this game --when her sultriness is her whole trademark-- and you start to ask, what is the point?

In case you wondered, Druuna is one of the most popular characters ever to appear in Heavy Metal magazine; a voluptuous anti-heroine drawn excellently by Italian artist Paolo Eleuteri Serpieri. In each graphic novel she stars in, she must struggle to survive in a Mad Max type of future. Of course, let's be honest; it helps sales figures if Druuna has an X-rated sensuality that would make even Sharon Stone blush. Fans of this graphic novel series, therefore, will love to see this fictional Italian bombshell in 3D CGI splendor, with a well chosen voice actress to boot. As for the chosen story, Morbus Gravis may not be the most popular tale Druuna ever starred in, though it was probably the tamest one to translate into a game that could be sold in mall software stores.

So, what's your goal, here, you ask? Druuna is in a coma, and you must help snap her out of it, by linking to her mind and helping her come to grips with whatever memories caused her comatose state. There are 12 memories (or "levels," if you prefer), which lead to a finale that...well, maybe I shouldn't spoil it for you. However, let's put it this way; even if I wanted to spoil the ending here, I couldn't, because I just didn't understand it at all. Druuna doesn't even bother to thank you for all your hard work; darn! What's worse, after the short credit roll, the screen just fades to black --permanently-- until you press ESC to jump back to Windows. "Game Over," indeed.

Puzzles and challenges in this game are mostly a hodge-podge of cliché adventure game puzzles. On some occasions, a video clip will ask you to click an arrow key at the right moment (a la Dragon's Lair) to proceed without dying. A few conversations require Druuna to choose the right line to say, without dying. Then there's the incongruous jumping puzzles you must complete without dying. There's even an anti-jumping puzzle, where you must periodically duck, while moving, without dying. See a pattern evolving here?

It doesn't help that the very movement of Druuna is difficult. It seems an insult for this interface to imply that the curvaceous Druuna would be less graceful than a bull in a glassware store. She has the tendency to bump into everything, and then turn automatically in a different direction...hopefully, not a cliff! If you were trying to get away from a mutant or killer robot at the time, good luck; she's almost guaranteed to be horrifically attacked over and over, and if you're lucky, you get to try again. You'll notice I emphasized "if you're lucky"; stupidly, this game evokes a sort of "limited lives" arcade-game structure, where if Druuna dies too frequently in any one memory/level, the game is over. Add to this the stupidest idea in history --to make saved games limited as well-- and you wonder why anyone would bother to finish this game at all. I did, and for the most part, it was a waste of time.

Introductions in the game manual claim that Riccardo Cangini, the head game designer, had planned this game as far back as 1989. It seems that 12 years of waiting have been both a blessing, and a curse. Along the way, the project adopted a 2D/3D graphic interface, a la Resident Evil, with a fully 3D accelerated Druuna in the foreground (shown here), and well-rendered 2D backgrounds. Regardless, this seems to be the only perk the game has adopted in the past 12 years; on the majority, the game seems to have adopted more of the flaws of past games, including Riana Rouge (1997), Montezuma's Return (1998), and Darkseed (1992).

You may think I'm being unfair, comparing this game to those prior gaming snafus. However, it's hard to not think of it the other way around; those games had many positives, that this game sorely lacks. Riana Rouge, for example, might've been a quickie R-rated sex adventure, and yet it promised sensuality, and delivered; this game has Druuna nude for all of two split seconds, unless you cheat and use the nude code (see sidebar at right), which really isn't the same. Similarly, while Montezuma's Revenge may have had 1000 more instant death puzzles --and the exact same limited lives!-- its 3D game engine was superior by leaps and bounds. As for Darkseed...well, at least it had the decency to include a walkthrough online that worked. Seriously, how stupid is it for the "official walkthrough" of this game to ask you to "refer to pictures" in a walkthrough that is text-only?

The end result is a review with many gripes, and only one perk: those 3D CGI cutscenes of Druuna. However, these scenes are, indeed, quite impressive; enough for me to keep playing this game until the very end. That's saying a lot, given how annoying, perturbing, and all-out aggravating most of the game's puzzles were. Such cutscenes allow Druuna fans to see her as a 3D rendered model, and not just a 2D cartoon; a big plus. Maybe someday, someone will edit all the CGI video from this game, add a few more scenes, and make it into a snazzy DVD. They could even be implemented into a Heavy Metal movie sequel someday (hopefully, better than Fakk2). Her 3D model could even be used to tell a new story altogether. Until then, the game itself was disappointing.