Techtite's PC Game Reviews!

"Parents who want to buy a little kid a Spider-game rated 'E for Everyone' might give this game a look, but otherwise, this is way too easy, and compared to the video game version, it actually sucks."

---from the review

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Sidebar :

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Well; the Rating is Different... Those not looking for lawsuits for all the non-refundable PC versions of this game, may say in retort, "Well, what did you expect; the rating on the box is a dead giveaway!" Indeed, this game is rated E for Everyone (the equivalent of a G rating in films), while the video game is rated T for Teen (the equivalent of a PG-13). Clearly; one is more edited of content than the other. There's also how this game is roughly $20 less.

Still, there's no denying that the box shows no glaring  evidence of being any different than the video game version, even promising you can "web sling...across the the streets and skyscrapers of Manhattan" (oh, really?) and that you can use "all of Spider-Man's abilities" to stop crime (compared to what game guys?). Let me just summarize it this way; in the video game, you can even hang bad guys from street posts in a way-cool giant web line, which they swing from while mumbling, "Ugh..why me?" This game has you punch morons who go down with an "E for Everyone" plop on their behind. Parents will think that's a good thing. Gamers will think it sucks.

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Spider-Man 2

Click picture to order this game (PC/windows version)

A Techtite Review

Even when compared to at least two other Spider-games on the PC, this game falls short. But when it's compared to the video game of the same name...? Man, does this suck. Not only did Activision give PCs a totally different, kiddie-friendly game compared to the video gamers, but they offer no indication on the box that this is so. Those who own older video game systems and buy this for a high-end PC, don't be fooled; even if you own a four-year-old game system like the Playstation-2, get Spider-Man 2 for that. The PC version is crap.

How much crap are we talking about? Well, let's go over all the cool features of the video game version, in a nutshell. For one thing the video game has barely any wait times to speak of. Not unlike the sprawling metropolis of Grand Theft Auto, you can explore every street of Manhattan (Spider-Man's home town) without any wait as a new section of the city loads. Add to this so many secrets to find, and mini-missions to enjoy, it's almost criminal how much of the game has been removed completely from the PC version(!). Even when the movie tie-in story ends, the video game lets you keep playing; swinging on webs, helping townsfolk from armed felons, beating up giant walking tanks, and simply being Spidey, throughout a whole virtual city. How cool can a game be? Look at this game on any video game system, and you'll see.

Now, forget the last paragraph, because we're talking about the PC version. As I said; it's crap. For one thing there is no "explore the city at will" here. You must go through a linear story; not even a long one. Second, there are no mini-missions to enjoy, unless you like to find 6 Spidey emblems in 10 seconds in any one room, over and over. Then there's how this game forces you to shoot at a finite number of hanging-in-mid-air "Spider Webs" to swing across the city. Yep; not only is the game with linear levels, but you can't even control where Spidey can swing a web! As you guessed; the video game allows this, and a whole lot more.

Sure, the main story is still there, based on the cool film. Yes, you save the day, all while trying to keep your relationship with childhood sweetheart MJ Watson alive. Littler kids may not care about this game's simplicity, as they easily swing through the limited levels, and they even get to kick Doc Ock's butt...twice. The animation is acceptable enough, it's currently priced at $20 less than the video game version, and there are no game bugs worth mentioning. In other words, it's an acceptable little kiddie game.

Well, not exactly. There's no denying that Activision is selling this game as "just like" the video game version, which is a cheap sales stunt through and through. The problem with such sales stunts is: due to software piracy concerns, it is impossible to return a PC game for a full refund, unless your retailer is either too sweet for their own good, or a total moron. So basically, anyone who buys this game in error is out $30 bucks. Most casual gamers will see that the PC game is $20 less, complete with a box cover that's exactly the same (aside from the rating on the lower right, though that's a "sidebar" story), and buy the silly thing. Then they find out it's not anything like the game they saw on demos in any game stores' X-Boxes and Playstations...but then it's too late. Sure, Activision would've lost money if they simply called this "Spider-Man 2: the Children's Game," and yet how much of a loss of integrity are they getting, selling these games as if they're "exactly" alike? These are cheap sales tactics.

It's also a children's game with a lot lacking. The video game version has cameos by classic Spider-friends like Black Cat; the PC game does not. The video game actually "introduces" Mysterio, and you even get to unmask him, in a later battle. The PC version does not. Sure; it has Mysterio in a level or two, and it's cool how the level is an illusion as if all of Manhattan has become a bunch of islands floating in the sky; a typical Mysterio trick. Yet, as fun as this level can be, it's all very brief, and way too easy. For that matter; you can't lose. Give it a try, and jump off one of the mid-air islands in Mysterio Land. You'll simply be zapped back to your prior jump point. That's how easy-for-kids this game is.

There are some cute moments that keep this sales ploy from "Burnout" status, however, when looked at as a kiddie game. The game begins with rhino attempting to escape prison. Several criminals are seen in the background following suit, and you must look for their hiding places, throughout the game. This is a far more entertaining side quest than mere "gold coins" to search for, or whatever, and a menu even keeps track of the mug shots of whoever you nab. That's pretty cute.

The game itself is certainly not hard on the eyes, either. Mysterio's city illusion may be easier than it looks, but it is admittedly a cool level map to enjoy, even if way too easy. Fans of the comics may also like the cameo of "Puma," though I found him to be just annoying, with a character voice that makes him even more annoying than he was. Regardless, some parents look hard for an easy game to give littler kids, and unlike the "T for Teen" game on video game systems, this one is rated "E for everyone." While this means teens will avoid it like the plague, it also means Mom can buy this for her child without worry. For parents, that's one major sales draw.

Overall, this is hardly the worst game I ever played. It just so happens to be --with only two other Spider-games to compare it to-- the worst Spider-man game on the PC I ever played. Add to this gripe the fact that Spider-Man 2's video game version is a thousand times better (no I haven't said that enough yet), coupled with the fact that the game box at no time reveals this difference at all, demands that this gets the thumbs-down it deserves. It's just one of those things. It may not be a horrid game, yet compared to the video-game-of-the-year contender that all three video game systems got? This just isn't the best way to sling webs in town, you know what I mean?

---Techtite