Techtite's Hardcopy: Book Reviews

"A book that loses interest with nothing new to say, loses integrity with items not even for sale, then loses all common sense, by telling you how to break the system!"

---from the review

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It seems odd for a 164 page book to be sold on the same shelf as video game equipment. So, when I saw a bin holding X-Box: Blow the Lid Off!, right next to the X-Box merchandise in a video game store, I was bound to take notice. Too bad this book is unlikely to help you blow the lid off of anything. At best, it tells you about items that have yet to even exist. At worst, it will help you break the system.

The truth is, the X-Box is many things but confusing isn't one of them. The only two buttons on the main unit are an on switch and an eject switch. All cables are formed so they can only be inserted one way, making connections easy as pie. Few X-Box owners will need to even break the plastic wrap around the user's manual. If you're not about to read the pamphlet that came with the system, why buy a whole book?

Not that this book doesn't have interesting information, for the "newbie," or even people without an internet connection (none of whom would be able to see this review, but I'm just saying). The whole opening chapter tells you what's in the box and where to buy the system for the best deal. Chapter two explains how to connect the system, just in case those formed-to-connect-one-way cables are too confusing for you. Chapter three brings up the "oversized controller" debate, with a discussion about alternate controller choices. I sense the author was told he needed an additional "x" number of pages before publication, so he added these first chapters on the most basic "basics." Let's just move on.

Middle chapters don't offer any new information, though they are a good wake-up call for people who forgot everything the X-Box could do. You're reminded of how your favorite music tracks can be copied onto the hard drive of the X-Box, allowing you to hear them whenever a game disc isn't in the tray. You're told how some games allow you to play these tracks as the background music, replacing the game's original soundtrack. You're reminded why a game system with a hard drive needs memory cards (in case you're wondering: you can share files with friends!). A whole separate chapter covers likely game titles, the ratings system, and where to find game reviews. Another chapter covers how to get online; yet another chapter covers connecting two or more X-Boxes in their own LAN. I must admit; for the novice, these are a good batch of chapters.

It's the last few chapters that not only drag the rating into thumbs-down territory; they drag it all the way to the bottom. These are the chapters that talk about cheating options, none of which exist for the X-Box at all. I'm sorry; how silly is it to make a whole chapter about the Gameshark and "Re-Play" cheat modules for X-Box, neither of which exist? While Re-Play has a module to allow PC users to trade save games, they have yet to release the "cheat module" this book describes. What's worse; the book goes into great detail telling you how to work your nonexistent GameShark, how to get nonexistent codes, and how to obtain nonexistent cheat options. How nonexistent are we talking about here? This review was posted a year after the first publication of this book, and they're still nonexistent. This is a worthless chapter.

What's worse is...well, it gets worse. Later chapters talk of the possibility of opening your X-Box, and tinkering with what you find there, to create what is often called a "modded X-Box." Why would anyone want to do this? There really isn't a reason, really, and considering it requires a computer expert to do such a procedure, I'm aghast that a "novice" book such as this would even suggest it. What's worse; it even offers a step-by-step instruction list of how to open your X-Box and install a "mod chip" on your own. I'm sorry; if you wrote a book where 75% of it is telling readers how to unpack your system and plug in the cables, what makes you think such novices will be able to open their system without breaking it? This is so inane, I should just move on.

That's the problem: I can't just move on. Until this chapter I was more than happy to give this book a marginal thumbs up for extreme novices; perhaps junior high school kids, with their first game system as a birthday gift. I cannot appreciate --or even slightly endorse-- a book that is being sold in child-friendly stores like Toys 'R' Us, telling its readers how to open your X-Box and, quite frankly, break it. I remember a comic strip by Penny Arcade, which told in very blunt, R-rated language how similar morons tried to "modify" their Game Boy Advance, only to call Nintendo and ask for technical help to correct their stupidity! As even this book attests: opening the system voids your warranty. It's truly stupid for a novice to even try this on their own. So why coax such nimrods on, by instructing them on how to do so...?

As I said, the majority of this book would be moderately acceptable for the novice. However, a novice would be too wet behind the ears to understand the sub-moronic idiocy behind the "open your X-Box and void the warranty" chapter, so this book just isn't worth it to anybody. Half of all novices would break their system. The other half would think about it until they knew better. Those who already knew better fell asleep three paragraphs ago. Sweet dreams.