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Disneyana 2003
(Convention Theme: 75 Years, 75 Smiles)
(Yeah...right!)
A Techtite
Review...of sorts
While nobody will say on-the-record as to
how and why, it is now official: 2003 will be the first year in
over a decade, without a Disneyana Convention. Spin control claims
that Disneyana
2002 created so many errors that it would take over a year to correct
them.
To others, this sounds like a smart idea; to me, this sounds like curing the disease by killing the
patient.
When that patient was healthy as a horse just one year earlier, the
decision is even more suspect.
Indeed, if Disneyana 2003 was to be just like last
year's, forget it. This is important to consider, when scuttlebutt is that
this is exactly what they had planned.
Fortunately, someone pulled the plug Good for them...sort of. After all,
they could've had a better convention, like they used to, with only a
slight increase in expense and cost. However, it seems like the overall consensus
is "if we can't do it dirt cheap, let's not have it at
all."
This is silly. "Economical" is
the stupidest
word to apply to a collectibles convention. There is already a name for
an economical convention package; it's called PUBLIC DAY. People who spend $30,000 on an antique Mickey Mouse are hardly going to whine that
they have to spend "extra" for a decent convention package,
decent entertainment, and a decent room, a mere walk away
from the convention hall. These are the
people --the consumers, Disney fans, and diehard conventioneers-- who need
to be pleased; not the penny pinchers!
It's not that the desire for a Disneyana
Convention isn't there, either. We fans just want the same effort that was
offered during unforgettable conventions like the Disney
Villains year in '97, or the flawless Disneyland
Family Reunion in 2001. Someone is yearning to go back to Disney,
while someone else is ruining Disney's reputation. How unfair is it, that
the latter group is PAID to work there, and the former fans must
suffer for it...?
Consider the following list, of the ten
Biggest Flaws of Disneyana 2002, and how they could've been easily
improved in time for Disneyana 2003. Then tell me 1) they needed more
time to make such improvements, or 2) they couldn't have made such changes
and keep within budget:
1) The Parking Lot Tent. Problem:
In order to make the convention easily accessible to people
off-EPCOT-property, the registration hall, package pick-up, and other
important convention locales, were all centralized in a parking lot tent.
Yes, I'm serious. Solution: Two
words: Convention Hall. If someone wants to be
"off EPCOT property," then that's their problem. The parking
lot tent being used just to appease Mr. Penny Pincher was a dumb idea. What makes
this so easy?: EPCOT has four major resorts next door (five
if you count Yacht & Beach Club as separate hotels). Choose
one. Budget required: Less. Yes,
less. Convention halls are already built; a tent needs to be built,
furnished, wired with lights, etc. This was an
"economic" choice?!?
2) The barebones welcome package. Problem:
Unlike earlier conventions, Disneyana
2002 gave only a barebones number of collectibles for your Registration
price: a cheap coin, a cheap "detective badge" pin, and a thin cardboard folder to keep them in. Solution:
Let's be frank. If
you're telling me that conventioneers weren't totally scammed when given
such a lackluster registration package, shine it on, honey. The solution
is simple: don't scam the conventioneers! What makes this so easy?:
Earlier conventions had gifts for registration that included a clock, a
statuette, a tree ornament, and anything else they could fit in a cloth
gift sack. Even the gift sack was a gift in itself (most returning
conventioneers use their bags from prior conventions, many years after the
convention that game it to them). With no
noticeable decrease in convention price, we're supposed to believe the
money for a similar gift package "suddenly" wasn't there?
Budget required:
You won't make more $$$, though seriously; is scamming your biggest fans
a wise move? NO. Don't do it.
3) "Mousecommunications" was worthless. Problem:
This is sort of "the parking lot tent mistake: Take Two!" By
placing all preliminary convention tasks in a parking lot tent, they effectively placed everyone who knew
anything about the convention at the same location. The promise was
that once you registered, you'd be able to enter the park at will, and
have all your needs met at the Mousecommunications desk, in the park.
Fat chance, with everyone who knew anything outside in that parking lot
tent! The folks inside knew nothing. They should've known, well...something.
Solution:
I won't gripe about the parking lot tent again. However, is it too much
to ask that someone who knew the answers to our questions, was IN the
park? What makes this so easy?:
Oh, come on, now! Budget
required: No, I'm serious: COME ON!
4) "Reserved Seating"? HA! Problem:
Theme Night --the allegedly "exclusive to conventioneers"
night for conventioneers-- was begun with the illuminations show, during
regular park hours. What this meant was that around 1,500 convention
guests were squished into an itty bitty "reserved space" where
90% of us were peeking over heads in front of us, same as always. Excuse
me...? Didn't I pay enough to see EPCOT's only worthwhile night
show, without peeking over everyone's head like I always do?!? Solution:
You hold an illuminations show every night of the year; would it have totally
killed you to have a second, exclusive showing for convention
guests, after park hours...? What
makes this so easy?: Let's put it this way: it was a lot
harder to "corral" convention guests to a reserved location
during regular park hours, than it would've been to simply re-open the
park after park hours to convention guests only. Budget
required: This "reserved seating" was a joke.
Whatever it costs to correct this, do it.
5) Theme Night had two rides open.
One, two. Problem: EPCOT has few
enough rides without someone telling you to settle for TWO of them. Theme night had all major EPCOT attractions closed --including
Test Track, Energy Adventure, Body Wars, and even Spaceship Earth-- with
the only open attractions being the cheaply remade "Journey into
Imagination," and The Land Ride. Solution:
Even E-Ride Night --which costs a mere 15 dollars for resort guests--
has more rides than this "Theme Night" had, which cost thousands
more to attend. Solution: open more rides! What
makes this so easy?: You can't tell me that the same number of
people who were needed to handle all of Fantasyland
in 2000, and a plethora of rides at Disneyland's convention last year, could only handle two rides this year.
That's silly. Budget
required: Again: no more than earlier conventions.
6) Return Transportation on Theme Night. Problem:
Guests who paid to be at EPCOT Resorts were not allowed
to WALK to their hotels --which indeed, are just a walk away from EPCOT-- but
instead had to go clear down to the regular exit, to the buses, to
get
to their resort that was just a walk away!!! What's even worse; if you
were on a bus with guests at a farther resort, they went to that hotel first,
yours last! The feeling was not
unlike being asked to fly from Boston to New York with a connecting flight
in Japan. Solution: What I-D-I-O-T
thought that anyone who was willing to walk back to their hotel should not
be allowed to do so? What
makes this so easy?: Instead of a bunch of people near the
World Showcase with ropes, have them point to the International Gateway
and thank passers-by for coming. Simple...? Budget
required: Let me be frank: all I wanted was to be able to
walk to my hotel, as I had paid so much extra to be able to do.
Budget required: none. Period.
7) The parting "breakfast."
Problem: Earlier conventions had a
final night banquet: formal attire, four course meal, a stage show,
and the whole nine yards. Instead, Disneyana 2002 had a parting breakfast,
which was so economical the serve-yourself food was barely kept stocked on the
trays,
and what's
worse, you were given an assigned table, in a haphazard numbering scheme, with no seating chart to tell you
where that table even was. Solution:
If you want a parting breakfast
instead of a banquet, fine. Just make it as F-U-N as
a banquet would be, with well stocked food, a competent staff (i.e., ones
with a seating chart!), and yes, a stage show (come on: how hard
is it for a few costumed characters to dance around a little?). What
makes this so easy?: I've seen every average Joe be treated
with far more respect at any standard Disney restaurant then
conventioneers were here. Simply treat us like you'd treat anyone else, if
that isn't too much to ask. Budget required:
A $50 tip to a real waiter, advising these guys to 1)look for empty trays of
food, and 2) FILL THEM.
8) Cast Members who were the most
polite, were made low men on the totem pole. Problem:
There were a lot of nice, sweet, polite cast members at the Disneyana 2002
convention. Sadly, they were all low men on the totem pole, taking the
orders of the nitwits in charge. They really wanted to help any struggling
conventioneer, yet lacked the resources to do
so. Solution: Put the right cast
members in charge! What
makes this so easy?: Any seasoned boss should know a
wheeler-dealer compared to a hard worker. Simply make the latter the
superiors to the former. Budget
required: Considering these are the same employees who'd be
working for you anyway: no more than any other day.
9) Cast Members who were the least
polite, were placed in charge! Problem:
A select number of cast members "in charge" (or so they wanted
conventioneers to believe) treated all
conventioneers, quite frankly, like dirt. In particular, there was one
total blowhard named ERIC, the (or so he claimed) head of security on the last day of the
convention, who not
only acted like my 65 year old mother had " no reason" being in the convention hall waiting for
the silent auction to end; he effectively demanded that she LEAVE. Mind
you, this was long before the silent auction was slated to end, and long
before Eric had the right to tell any paying conventioneer that they
weren't allowed in the convention hall they were supposed
to be in. Hmmm; maybe he was just peeved that the little stunt to
get paying conventioneers to vacate the premises in time for public days
new wallets didn't work so well, huh? (see Problem #10). Such is a small
sample of the inept, pompous ineptitude of the "top brass" at
the Disneyana Convention 2002. Solution:
Forget being short-handed: having Mickey Mouse's reputation tarnished is
worse. Eric should've been FIRED out on his butt in a heartbeat for
treating a 65 year old woman this way. Twit. What
makes this so easy?: Eric is not a people person. Why force him
to be near people? Budget required:
None; replace incompetent oafs with competent hard workers. Plain and
simple.
10) "Your parting gift is clear
across the park. Please get out." Problem:
It's the parting thoughts of a convention that matter the most.
Just when a conventioneer was ready to accept an el cheapo breakfast
instead of a four-course banquet, they were told the piece de resistance
of the convention: your
"free gift" for coming to the convention would not be handed to
you at your table, yet was instead clear across the park. WHY?!? Because public day was in
two hours
--that's why-- and they needed an excuse to vacate the convention hall to
make way for fresh, new wallets. Did this trick work? Only slightly; many
people sent their strongest party member to stand out in the line
--which was mostly in the hot sun-- to get the gift boxes for all party
members. Did that mean the other party members could stay? No; check out
problem #9, where "head of security" Eric nearly pushed my 65
year old mother out the door. "Good-BYE," indeed! Solution:
Why hand a conventioneer his parting gift? Because 1) he already paid
for it by registering, four days ago, 2) some of the
conventioneers are handicapped and in wheelchairs, dummy, and could not
go clear across the park for a gift that was rightfully theirs, and 3) because
it's polite. Just do it. What
makes this so easy?: Just. Do. It. Budget required:
Oh, forget budget, already: we paid for the convention, and were given
crap in return. You had the budget. Admit it.
So, I ask you: does this list sound so hard? Of course not.
Dozens
of conventions are held in Disney World each year. Disneyana was among
them, for over a decade. It's time to return Disneyana to
its rightful status in Disney World. If EPCOT's top brass claims they can't
do it, put someone in charge who can. Make Mickey Mouse's biggest fans
happy again. Canceling their
convention...? That hurt them more than it did you. Let's all hope 2004
brings us Disneyana Conventions the way they should be again. After all,
it can't possibly get worse.
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Final Rating :
Burnout. Yeah, that's right; you may have cancelled the
convention, though that doesn't keep you from a rating of your
performance. Your decision to cancel the convention this year?
BURNOUT. Happy...? |
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copyright 1999-2002; all rights reserved. Pictures within review are
either scanned from actual vacation
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Burnout
Near
Miss
Small
Crater
Large
Crater
Deep
Impact