Techtite's TV Reviews!

The X-Files: 1999-2000

A Review by ex-X-phile, Techtite.

I remember The Six Million Dollar Man quite fondly...and unfondly. Why? Few sci-fi series have spiraled so far downward, from so high up. Quick! They love bionics! Bionic woman! Bionic dog! The bionic Mars Probe! Fembots! Don't even get me started about...bionic bigfoot! Though, hey, camp sells. A typical sci-fi snafu; less cake, more frosting.

Jump ahead to The X-files. At first, an inspired vision via the show's creator, Chris Carter; The Truth Is Out There! Heck, so is the sister of Fox "Spooky" Mulder...abducted! Tagging along is assigned partner Scully, who's at first a liaison of the higher-ups, to make sure Mulder doesn't get too crazy (or perhaps...too close?). The pilot episode showed Mulder was right about something, via kids who were implanted with some sort of technology that labs could not readily identify. Fox was obsessed to find the truth-that's-out-there...so were fans, rooting for him all the way. FYI: this flawless first season is preserved in its entirety on a 7 disc DVD set (as  reviewed recently, in the DVD review section), and is whole-heartedly recommended.

Sadly, not unlike the bionic man, the series started to lose its nuts and bolts, left and right. Ooh; Buffy the Vampire Slayer is a hit on the WB channel...let's put vampires, mummies, witches, and ghouls in X-Files! No, wait; there's a movie where John Travolta has healing powers; let's have a mysterious stranger who can do that on X-files! There was even an episode filmed not unlike the FOX series Cops, and an episode where Mulder and Scully battle a killer within a video game (all together now : "SEEEEEN IT!!!"). Chris Carter, apparently, could care less that these plot tangents are as wide as the Orbit of Pluto...who cares? Answer : the series' former fans...the EX-philes!

All this reached fever pitch on this, its seventh season...and during sweeps, no less. In an episode airing February 15, 2000; Fox Mulder's sister's location is finally revealed!!! Where is she? Well, the script of this two-parter was pretty muddled, though it apparently has something to do with everyone's fascination with the prior year's Blair Witch Project. Chris Carter felt we wanted a rehashing of that piece of dumb-luck over-hyped mess. Gee, I don't know who to thank for that one...

Why is this so unforgivable? Because, once again, a once-great storyteller has mistaken a plot collapse for a plot twist. Okay, so Mulder's sister was never taken by aliens. Then why did he find all the evidence of alien activity? Was he just lucky??? What about the ones who can only be defeated with a special weapon, or, DUH, that spaceship that flew away in the movie...? Is that Cigarette Smoking Man just some misunderstood shmoo who likes to puff a smoke now and again? In the spirit of writers who think they're artfully putting peanut butter in our chocolate, Carter is one of many former Emmy-winning heavyweights who wishes to put peanut butter in our gum. So what if the plotline, as a result, is just a pile of bitter mush?

Let me go over the flaws of this two-parter, piece by piece (which I can do, since I gave a spoiler warning half a dozen paragraphs ago!). Bottom line : Mulder's sister is some sort of ghost (think of a rip off of, well, the movie Ghost). How'd he find her? With the help of a guy who popped in from nowhere, who can see ghosts (Sixth Sense Rip-Off). Where'd he find her? In an eerie looking woods, near an old house (Blair Witch rip-off). How'd she become a ghost? By just willing it; her body was never found (Star Wars/Jedi Knight rip-off). Need I go on?

Any originality is pure plotline poppycock. How does Mulder identify a house his sister was kidnapped to? By looking at the cement, and seeing her name imprinted there. Sure; nothing like kidnapping a girl, then allowing her to sign her real name permanently into the nearby sidewalk (with her own hand print, no less). What led Mulder on this trail? Murder victims were found in shallow graves, just a short ways from where the murderer worked every day. Why'd Agents Dumb & Dumber --er, Mulder and Scully-- finally notice these grave-sized dirt piles nearby? Because the murderer ran there, to "escape"! How very, very cooperative of him. It took two people to write this story? Oooh, now I'm shocked.

Well, apparently, that's that, I suppose; the prime initial quest for the show, resolved, for better or worse. I'd say it's closer to the latter. I think I stopped watching the series altogether, when the series' copycat antics went a bit overboard; soon after ABC's recent "Arabian Nights" mini-series was aired, an X-Files ep had to Mulder discovering...a genie! <Groan!> In the end, I feel Fox Mulder said it best, in one of the last lines uttered in the alleged Mulder-"finds"-his-sister episode; "End of the road!"

Indeed.

	Final Rating : Burnout. We journeyed with Mulder for years, only to see a rip-off of Ghost? Whose @#$%* idea was that??? A smear on the whole series.
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However...

	A Deep Impact rating, to the series as it was, in its first seasons. Yes, the series has fallen that far! Also note Techtite's review of the DVD collection, which is great!
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