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Survivor1 (premiere)

Survivor 1 (contestants)

Survivor 2 (contestants)

Survivor 3 (contestants)

Editorial: When does bending rules become cheating?

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Questions of the Week: This sidebar will be updated each week, with new comments regarding the latest episode. 

Episode 1 Question of the Week: So, how's this "back to the beach" thing going...? So far, it's half and half, if you ask me. For one, the beaches of Tahiti are far more alluring to see than the deserts of Australia and Africa! However, what's with the whole "starving the contestants" obsession? That's just dumb. Yeah, some people gripe that these people "aren't really stranded," though WHO CARES? It's a game show after all, not a lecture on actual survival situations.

Episode 2 Question of the Week: Darn, I thought that cool "rowboat" challenge was the immunity challenge! When seeing the challenging rowboat race, where a rowboat had to be emptied of rocks underwater and then rowed ashore, I thought Survivor had learned its lesson about that inane "eat disgusting things" challenge. Then I noticed they hadn't; sure as tax day, that was episode 2's immunity challenge, just minutes later. Silly me to think the show would know how repulsive it is to see 15 people nearly VOMIT. Think of a new challenge for Survivor 5, guys, okay?

Episode 3 Question of the Week: So, Survivor's alleged romance occurred behind the scenes, eh? That's pretty BORING... Word to Survivor's publicity dept.; if you're going to brag everywhere that a real romance brewed with two of the contestants on this show --specifically, Hunter and Gina-- why tell us this when there's no way for us to see it? Hunter's gone to "loser lodge" to camp out during his remaining 30 days on the island, and while Gina is sure to follow and offer him apparent (ahem) support, we don't get to see it, so why tell us...? 

Episode 4 Question of the Week: Next Week has a 2 out of three chance of being COOL...  By now, the former Rotu tribe has this game in the bag. However, who goes next in "moron-moo"? If one team wins, it's poor Gina's time to go, since she's the only remaining Moron-moo that they can feed on. If the other team wins, it can be bye-bye to either Sean or Rob...and who has a problem with that? 

Episode 5 Question of the Week: Is John a TOTAL IDIOT, or...no, that's the only possibility.  John boy; even if Gabriel was changing sides, why boot him off? The obvious choice of booting was Sean...then Rob...then maybe Gabriel, IF he showed ANY sign of changing sides. He didn't. Thanks, John, for ruining the most congenial contestant (this season) from getting any chance at even a Jury seat in the final episodes.

Episode 6 Question of the Week: Nothing to ask ...though I kinda liked Gina.  There's not much to say about episode #6, aside from the fact that Gina's departure reduces the number of "people I'd like to see win" to around 3; Tammy, Neleh, and Paschal.

Episode 7 Question of the Week: With Rob Gone, now what?  It's surprising how one's attitude towards a contestant can change in minutes. However, no matter how my opinions of Rob have been a roller coaster ride, in the end, I wanted him to stay, if just to keep the show interesting. Too bad.

Episode 8 Question of the Week: Was that a totally inspired immunity challenge, or what? With more Freudian imagery than you can list in one paragraph, the IC for episode #8 was pure sinister, inspired brilliance. Three ropes connected to coconuts were assigned to each tribe member; winning trivia questions allowed them to "chop" any one rope. Regardless of the three ropes for each contestant, the alliance's planned "pecking order" became quite clear. This included the plan to oust "teammates" Neleh, Paschal, and Kathy as soon as Sean and Vee were gone. This wasn't the brightest message to send out when the alliance was still outnumbered, 4-5. The end result: buh-bye to alliance leader John.

Episode 9 Question of the Week: How far can one's opinion of teammates change in mere weeks? As it so turns out, quite a bit. By this point, Sean no longer seems lazy, now that he is no longer a sure vote at the tribal councils; Zoe suddenly is telling Tammy she never liked her...ouch! i never really liked Zoe or Tammy, though catfights are always good TV. Thanks, Zoe...even if saying such stuff made you the next to go.

Episode 10 Question of the Week: What was with Neleh this episode? Annoying, or just naive? The message boards are divided on this. She certainly couldn't hide a piece of flank steak in her pants to give her starving tribe, and yet offering them a mere after-dinner mint? Lame. However, remember yourself at the age of 21. Would you have been any wiser? I would've been even worse! Think about it.

Episode 11 Question of the Week: Is this the "least surprising episode of the season," or what?  Robert was the only member of John's old alliance still around. He was a get-out-of-jail-free card, and they used him post haste. Not much else to say for an episode which would've been amusing if Robert won immunity (whoa!), though it wasn't the way it turned out.

Episode 12 Question of the Week: Is this the "Most FUN episode of the season," or what?  Aside from seeing John's alliance thwarted --the most fun moment of the season-- it is always good TV when a group so used to voting off people they dislike (John's alliance) now have to turn on themselves. No surprise that Sean was the first to go, being the most obnoxious. Just my $0.02.

Season Finale Question of the Week: Is Neleh mean, or did Paschal want it that way? I don't think anybody --particularly Paschal and Neleh-- thought it through that a tie-breaker that involved all remaining game players (except immunity wearer Vecepia) might mean Paschal was the one to go. If they thought this through, would Neleh have taken the chance that he was outed, or would she have demanded paschal vote for her to go? This would've been intriguing since it was never fully established that she had as strong of a bond to him as the fatherly bond he felt to her. Just another $0.02.

The Winning Question: Admit it: Kathy was DUPED, wasn't she?  Kathy made a pact to Vecepia in the prior tribal council that she wouldn't vote of Vecepia if it came down to them in the final three. By the next immunity challenge, Vecepia was all, "Oh, did that mean *I* wasn't to vote *you* off in the next immunity challenge?" Well, DUH, yeah, it did! Though hey; Kathy lost first, and Neleh already said she would've voted off Kathy anyway after trying to vote her off the last time. However, when Vecepia made a pact to Neleh that she'd throw the game if Neleh agreed not to vote of Vecepia...that's just as bad as negating her earlier agreement, if you ask me.

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Survivor 4: Marquesas

Once Again: The Finale (when it airs), The Winners, And of course, The Cheaters...

A Review by Techtite

If you still need a summary of the show itself, read my review for the premiere of the first Survivor. It's four seasons so far are all pretty much the same; only the locations change. Contestants, however, are always very different (and how!). So, once again, I find myself reviewing the latest season of the show based on the players, in order of voting-off...

The Techtite.com ratings system (icon version):

Burnout  Near Miss  Small Crater  Large Crater  Deep Impact

Peter Best One-Line Summary : The contestant that looked a lot like a young Dr. Who...just not as wise. My Comments: A lot of people find Tom Baker to be the one and only Dr. Who (out of at least 9 who have played the BBC character through the years). Perhaps Peter remembers Tom Baker's hairstyle, and that's why his looks identical. What Peter did not remember, however, was how important it is to close your trap on the first few days! Not much else can be said, except that what he said, got on people's nerves. Booted Off: 1st High Point : At least half his tribe liked him...unfortunately, they split their votes for no less than two alternate people. Low Point : Peter's speech; "Holiness" of a body based on the holes in the body? Say what? Rating : Near Miss

Patricia Best One-Line Summary : The same size "assets" as Sarah, only they're real. My Comments: Patricia is another contestant to fail to heed the first rule of Survivor etiquette, to not be too noticeable in the first few days. Sure, she deserved to have her voice heard, although she should've voiced her opinion in a way that made her seem less like the "mama" of the tribe. Who wants to be "lectured" while playing Survivor? No one. Booted Off: 2nd High Point : Her reaction to being voted off was not half as catty as Sarah's reaction to being voted for at all... Low Point : Instead of getting "pep talks" from so-called team leader Hunter, she should've had a tête-à-tête with Sarah, who essentially made her a scapegoat while she kept in the game longer. Rating : Small Crater

Hunter Best One-Line Summary : ...and you thought the leader of the stooges was "Moe"! My Comments: So, "Moron-moo" votes off their self-appointed tribe "captain." However, let's be fair; this was a "captain" who led them through five losses IN A ROW. Did I mention all the challenges so far total...FIVE? Sure, he was captain of "knuckleheads." If he was half the leader he thought he was, maybe he could've done more for his team than just getting them their water each morning. Sure, that's so they won't dehydrate, though that's small potatoes compared to winning at least one of the challenges...which, quite frankly, is why they're there in the first place. Booted Off: 3rd High Point : I found myself laughing at Hunter's farewell words many hours after the show; "I was camping with a bunch of knuckleheads..." Low Point : To coin the classic words from Obi-Wan Kenobi, who's the more foolish; the fools, or the one who is voted off by them? Rating : Large Crater

Sarah Best One-Line Summary : The first casualty of the "laid back alliance" My Comments: I can't say I "hated" Sarah. Okay, girls who read this; I'm a guy, okay? Tell me once again how "cute" Ethan looked just because he was eating a piece of fruit, then come back and complain to me about how a woman in a bikini is the root of everything evil. I say it again; I never hated Sarah. Perhaps women hated her dependence; instead of being a valuable player, she decided instead to cling to Boston Rob, whose budding alliance with Sean and Vee kept her in the game this long. However, once the now-standard tribal "twist" put Sarah in a totally separate team, Rob was nowhere to help her anymore. You can figure out the rest... Booted Off: 4th High Point : Admit it; she got nearly 1/4th of the way through the game, while barely working up a sweat... Low Point : She was indeed not suited for this game; her boot-off was only a matter of time... Rating : Near Miss

Gabriel Best One-Line Summary : As McCoy said to Spock, "Must you be so blasted honest?" My Comments : Gabe was a nice guy; so nice, that when he uttered the typical "I'm not here to play the game" spiel, you believed him. However, when the tribes "twisted" members, and his Rotu tribe suddenly had three "Moron-moo" tribemates among them, why was he so chummy with them? Answer: Because he was a nice guy; that's all. So much so, that when it came down to his first --and last-- tribal council, he kept loyal to his tribemates, and voted for Rob to go. Unfortunately, his fellow tribe members all voted for Gabriel to go, just because of a paranoid "gut feeling" from John that Gabe was turning sides. By episode 5 there were only four Rotus who could still hold their head high after playing the game fairly; Gabe was one of them. Now he's gone...darn.  Booted Off: 5th High Point : Until his departure, he was probably one of the three most likeable contestants of the season, along with Neleh and Paschal. Low Point : Did he have to be so "liberal" to John's questions? When asked by a paranoid schemer if you're on his side, nod your head and GO ELSEWHERE.  Rating: Deep Impact

Gina Best One-Line Summary : One lucky girl...while it lasted. My Comments : Gina wasn't a bad person; she was just plain unlucky...or was she? First put on the eminent vote-off list of her tribe's dominant alliance --Sean, Rob, Vecepia, and Sarah-- she gets placed on a new team, via the tribal twist, who decide to vote off Sarah before Gina; lucky girl, that Gina. Likewise for the following week, when her tribe finally won an immunity challenge, keeping her on for another few days. Then Immunity challenge #6 was lost, and her new tribemates --who came from the opposing team, and knew her less than they knew each other-- reluctantly voted her off. At least she has the satisfaction of knowing that, by the time she was booted, it was nothing personal; it was just her or them. Booted Off: 6th High Point : Her defense of Hunter, even when he was long gone, was rather cute. Low Point : Should she have played the "Our Team's loss was all Kathy's fault" hand...? It was true; Kathy's lack of direction caused them to lose that challenge. She didn't use that card, and I think that was a mistake... Rating : Large Crater

Rob Best One-Line Summary : "Do I have 'stupid' written on my forehead?" Well, no, but... My Comments : When you first saw Rob, he seemed like a nice guy. Then he opened his mouth. Then he started mentioning his opinions. Then he made decisions like getting rid of Hunter --the strongest member of his current team-- just so he could keep Sarah; the weakest member of his current team. Then the tribal twist switched him to Rotu, where he claimed John appeared "gay" because he's a registered nurse who helps with the cooking. Sure, he was right that John was gay, yet for all the wrong observations. The sole reason this "Archie Bunker" type of contestant is kept from a thumbs-down is how much he brought to the show, as a show. He also left the show with a bang; hey, anything to rattle John's cage a little! It's bittersweet that he left before he could topple John's little tin alliance. However, it was classic reality television when Rob gave it a try! Booted Off: 7th High Point : Admittedly, his Boston-accented banter was far more interesting to hear than all the perky, hypocritical, "I love you/you love me" garbage the rest of the tribe feeds to each other. Low Point : A.M. or P.M...? Just kidding. In the long run, I'd say his biggest mistake was not using the Gabriel card when trying to get enough people to oust John boy's alliance. How can they still trust John, when he was willing to oust the most congenial member of the whole tribe...? It's a shame Rob didn't bring that subject up. Rating : Small Crater

John Best One-Line Summary : Registered nerd. My Comments: John was a Deep Impact ("thumbs way, way up") for the first four episodes of the season; after all, his R.N. expertise kept both himself and Robert in the game, leading his Rotu tribe to a sure and sweet victory. Then the tribes twisted members...and John's strategy twisted to near-inconceivable levels. He conspired to boot off Gabriel, for no reason other than sheer paranoia; a mandatory drop to near-miss. Then John began flaunting his alliance, parading in the waterfall nude a la Richard Hatch; a form of cockiness which demands a mandatory burnout rating. How low can you go? Fortunately, you can't...though that isn't to say John didn't try. He even concocted a fake alliance with Rob and Sean, just to cover all bases. Strategically, however, his big mistake was arrogance, presuming the FIVE remaining teammates couldn't nip his alliance of FOUR in the bud (or, quite frankly, the backside). As soon as a brilliantly crafted immunity challenge revealed his true colors --even towards former teammates-- John was gone. Booted Off: 8th High Point : His medical expertise kept himself and Robert in the game, allowing their team to win all the first challenges without any hindrances. Low Point : Just about EVERYTHING John did after episode 5 was truly despicable, right down to the final episode, where he was implying that Neleh was guilty of helping to boot off him, when he was so ready to do exactly the same to her. Rating: Burnout

Zoe Best One-Line Summary : This year's stayed-in-the-shadows contestant...who's always 9th or 10th to leave. My Comments: From the looks-to-kill she gave to series host Jeff Probst, to her farewell message with a tilted head and a grin; this contestant was hard to figure. We know she hated Tammy by episode 9...though so did everyone else, so that isn't saying much. We DO know she allied with John...though only reluctantly, and when her "fellow" alliance members tipped their hand (in that infamous coconut immunity challenge) that she was Least Valuable Player, Zoe was no fool. She allied with John on the promise of HER getting closer to the million, not just to help HIM get closer to it, with her at "fourth place"! However, she learned this too late, and when she finally tried to make amends with Sean's anti-alliance, she was still a target. However, I give her a marginal thumbs-up, if only because she truly did help vote off John, which was one of the most fun moments of Survivor since the first season! Booted Off: 9th High Point : Her very humble speech during the final episodes Tribal Jury showed she had more class than any of her former alliance members. See kids? This is what it means to be sportsmanlike, and not a poor loser. Low Point: She barely got any screen time at all. Rating: Small Crater

Tammy Best One-Line Summary : "You should all be very proud; you made the jury!...huh? I'M the jury member??? Backstabbers! BACKSTABBERS!!!" My Comments: In the first few days, Tammy wisely stayed in the shadows. Then the tribes merged, and she became so giddy with her membership to John's alliance, that she started making mistakes...the worst of which, was coming out of the shadows in the first place. What was most annoying was her little video confessionals --like some pupil of Socrates-- telling us how illogical the non-alliance contestants were, to not accept their fate. They didn't...and for starters, John's alliance was the first thing to go. Boo-hoo. This from the girl who told all other teammates in episode 8 that "You should be proud...you made the jury!" Note the "you," not "US." Was she as proud, when she was voted jury member #3? Nope...and that rant she made to Vecepia and Neleh in the finale was just plain lame. Once again, some Susan Hawk in training rants about how she was voted off by people playing the game the exact same way. Booted Off: 10th High Point: For at least three weeks, she wisely kept in the shadows and didn't tick anyone off. Low Point : "You should all be proud, you made the jury!" Your own words, dear; live them, or eat them. Rating: Near Miss

Robert Best One-Line Summary : "I'm The General! Why? Well, there's this cute cartoon on my arm..." My Comments: Robert gets high marks for getting his foot severely injured early on, yet still helping his tribe win challenges immediately afterward; what a trooper! However, "the general"...? This nickname is based on a mere cartoon drawing tattooed to his arm; was he really worthy of such a "tough" nickname...? On the one hand, he should've told John to CRAM IT, way back when he was about to oust Gabriel. On the other hand, I admired Robert's grit with the injured toe --I practically crushed one of my toes in an accident some time back, so I know what an injury like that feels like-- and enduring his injury, in the middle of nowhere, took a lot of grit. However, if just due to association, let's just say his marginal thumbs up is just that... Booted Off: 11th High Point: Not whining like a baby about the injured toe thing...  Low Point: ...though his frequent whining about inevitably being the next to get voted off was pretty lame. Rating: Small Crater

Sean Best One-Line Summary : If he speaks for "all" African- Americans, why did his online "brothers" and "sisters" want him to shut up? My Comments: Every time you think racism is extinct, there's someone ready to put another log on the fire. Case in point: Sean, who when the tribes merged felt that any demand for him to get firewood was akin to "slavery." Not by a long shot. If you don't want to help them, don't act like being lazy is a "black thing," okay? Being lazy was YOUR thing...and it was pretty embarrassing to watch. However, that said, let's look at the bright side of Sean. For one, he kept true to his alliance with Rob --right up to his boot-off-- even at risk of being booted off himself; that was pretty cool. He also assisted the joyous booting of John's arrogant alliance. However, Sean in the long run was a very sore loser when it came to his last tribal council, when all his trump cards come into play; the "don't vote me out because I'm black" card, the "Vecepia and I aren't in an alliance, even though we truly are" card, and most importantly, the "other people are playing the game to win so let's all vote them off so I can win" card. These cards amounted to little, and he was long gone. Booted Off: 12th High Point : In episode 8, when John's alliance smugly played that immunity challenge like they had the whole game won already, John blew Sean a cynical kiss when ruining his chances at immunity. Keeping his cool, Sean just slapped his backside and said, "I caught that right here, baby." Touché. Low Point : Acting like presumtions that he and Vecepia had an alliance was because of their race. Yeah; and also because you're always next to each other talking strategies. That too. Rating: Small Crater

Paschal Best One-Line Summary : The contestant of whom all others are judged... My Comments: Paschal is a judge in real life, and therefore had a little common sense. He knew when not to go into the "I know more than you do" rant, as well as when to not get into the "I do more than you do" rant. He also knew who to root for early on: Neleh, who regardless of her diminutive frame deserved the million as much as anyone. Sure, he promised to not vote John off before Sean in episode 8--only to take back that promise-- though when looking at first promises, his alliance with Neleh was made weeks before. As soon as John made it clear he was ready to boot Neleh ASAP, John's pact with Paschal was null and void. Of course, tell that to poor Paschal, who when trying to keep Neleh from leaving in a tiebreaker vote between her and Kathy, had to play the tie-breaker game of pulling colored rocks from a bag. Leave it to poor Paschal to pick the wrong one, and be the only jury member in survivor history, to receive NO votes against them whatsoever! Booted Off: Unlucky 13th High Point : Yes, you read it right: no votes against him, ever! Low Point : During the final jury, if he asked a decidedly methodical question to Vecepia --like say, why a woman who worked the LEAST on the island deserves the million-- maybe Neleh would've won the game. Rating: Large Crater

Kathy Best One-Line Summary : Riding the bubble as long as it could carry her... My Comments: Kathy was a hard one to figure. In the first days, she was soooo annoying, to the point where all TV viewers thought she'd be the first to go. Trouble is --or rather, her good luck was-- that her team was almost always the team to win a challenge. The only two times her team, pre-merger, went to tribal council was when someone else was on the chopping block before her. Such was the case right up to when Sean's anti-alliance against John's alliance kept Kathy in the game right up until the finale. Regardless of such an alliance, though, her gaming strategy was always the one to be sympathized with, not critiqued. Why? Because she was always on the defensive, not the offensive. Her gaming days were over, however, when daring to make an alliance with Vecepia, that Kathy would never vote her off. She should've explained to the very 2-dimentional, fence-straddling Vecepia, that such a pact is considered two-ways, and that Vecepia could not make a pact to vote Kathy off, just to further guarantee her stay in the game. You can guess what happened; Kathy lost immunity, and V made a quickie pact with Neleh to vote off Kathy instead of Vee, just to guarantee Vee's place in the final two. Booted Off: 14th High Point : Admittedly, she found great sources of food for her tribe(s) --including clams, crabs, shrimp (or whatever), and apparently, even a shark-- which kept them strong for the challenges they always won-- Low Point : Her condescending attitude in the first few days made it difficult to warm up to her at first. Rating:   Large Crater

Neleh Best One-Line Summary : Oh, I'm sorry; was she "playing the game"...? Well, so were you, Sherlock! My Comments : This is the one-line summary --a reality check, really-- that I wish someone would've said to Sean, when he hissed that Neleh was playing the game to win. This being different from Sean, because...why? Neleh was, admittedly, cute as "oh my heck," and it's this Miss Congeniality which kept cynical blowhards like Sean in the game as long as they were. Paschal never would have allied with lazy, caustic Sean --never-- unless Neleh's misty-eyed plea convinced him that this was the only way they'd stay in the game. In other words, the destruction of John's arrogant alliance (bravo!) --and the whole reason this season wasn't boring-- was all thanks to Neleh. Furthermore, she never flip-flopped like Vecepia did, nor did she "hide" her alliance as duplicitously. Who did I want to win by the first episode? Well...Gabriel. Who after that? Neleh. 'nuf said. Booted Off: The $100,000 runner-up High Point : While the typical 20-something game players saw the strongest contestants as those to "bond" with, Neleh wisely chose Paschal; a wiser, intellectual ally that stuck with her to the end. Low Point: When coming back from a reward dinner, offering the others a half-eaten mint was pretty dumb...though admittedly, offering them a piece of flank steak she hid in her pants would've been dumber. Rating : Large Crater

Vecepia Best One-Line Summary : "Too much DUH, ma!" My Comments: Vecepia's mantra was "Too much drama..." That's the cliché she mumbled whenever within earshot of a shouting match. Aside from being the start of a good drinking game, however, this overused, overstated comment was totally pointless. It's not like she tried even ONCE to keep the peace, as opposed to staying in the shadows, nodding her head, and allying with whoever would get her past the next tribal council. She also flip-flopped her game strategy like a politician running for Congress. She first allied with Hunter in episode 1, then Rob in episodes 2-3, then John in episodes 4-7 (culminating in her helping to vote off former alliance member Rob), rode Sean's coattails to episode 12, allied with Kathy in episode 13, then allied with Neleh in episode 14, voting out KATHY, just to guarantee her spot in the final two. It's this last flip-flop that dropped her grade so severely; sweetie, when Kathy agreed to never vote you off, this meant you would never vote her off; get it? So, once again, the laziest member of the strongest alliance wins the whole game...<groan!> Oh, and what about all that talk about how her alliance with Sean was a "friendship", not an "alliance"...? Gee, does this mean you're going to give him a share of the winnings, ol' buddy? I didn't think so. Booted Off: The million dollar winner. High Point : It is nice to see someone so religious in this day and age; anyone who says otherwise should just chill. Low Point : Her spiel of being the "first African-American to win Survivor." Sweetie, the show has only been on TWO YEARS; this is hardly a "door that has been opened," a la Halle Berry's Oscar win. Rating: Near Miss

...So, how does the season rate? Well, upon the series finale and reunion show (hosted by new host Rosie O'Donnel), I'd say this season was at first ho-hum, then gripping when John's alliance was ousted, then boring all over again. Indeed, Richard Hatch founded the first "cheater's alliance," while Tina promised Colby a bike she never gave him, and Ethan won thanks to Kim J. handing the million to him on a silver plate. Vecepia won because she played the game like a master politician, and on the most part, a rather duplicitous one (particularly when voting off Kathy to get to the final two). Deserved? Arguable. Good TV? Barely.

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