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The Brotherhood of Poland, NH. is not just a bad show. It actually hurts to watch. I mean, sure; even shows that lasted for several seasons had flawed pilot episodes --Melrose Place, anyone?-- though those shows had flaws that were easily solved, either with a smarter casting coup (two words: Heather Locklear) or bolder scriptwriting. This show won't have it that easy. I simply don't see any way this series can save itself from the comedy of errors contained within. No, wait; that's not fair. They are not a "comedy" of errors. I don't remember any laughing.

The concept is that there are three men in Poland, NH. If you figured out for yourself that this is the "brotherhood," you're too intelligent for this series' writing level. This brotherhood is so idiotic, it makes The Three Stooges look like a think tank. There's Police Captain Hank (Randy Quaid), who always seems to be thinking really hard about, oh, I don't know, how about "How to count to ten"? Then there's Waylon (Chris Penn) who asks his wife to duct tape his behind (yes, his behind) so it looks tighter during a job interview. Dude, if your future employer takes the time to look at your fat behind during the job interview, that isn't the job you want. Trust me on that one.

Topping off the list of Town Idiots --I'm sorry; "The Brotherhood"-- is town mayor Garrett (John Carroll Lynch). This is a guy who falls asleep so soundly, his little daughter is able to paint Spongebob Squarepants on his bald head without him waking up. This is a guy so easily scared; even a stray buck grazing on his lawn can cause him to scamper like a frightened child into his house. This is also a guy being sued by his mistress; a mistress so ugly, crass, fat and obnoxious you wonder if Garrett is deaf, blind, and a serious crack addict to have slept with her at all. Did we mention his wife is played by Elisabeth McGovern? ...and he cheated on her?!? I-D-I-O-T!!!

Here's where the show punches below the belt. See, each idiot has a wife. A genius wife. While the men go to talk at a seedy-looking diner, the women converse in posh restaurants that look like a movie star eats there. While the men discuss duct taping their behinds for a job interview, the women discuss opening a classic theater and running it themselves. Even when Hank's wife, Dottie (Mare Winningham) stupidly lets the bank secure a loan for her new theater

against their family home, it's presumed this is a brilliant maneuver on her part because she "needs" this theater. Yep; she's bored and suffocated and that means risking her entire family being thrown out onto the street because she's a woman with needs and she's trapped and blah blah blah blah blah-dee blah-dee blah-dee blah. As early as the pilot episode, it's clear how this show is going to make even the most foolish of choices by women "excusable," while men act like those two nimrods in that pizza commercial, who eat a "Chicago" style Pizza in Tucson and wonder how expensive the delivery charge was. Groan.

Of course, what do you expect from a show whose casting dept. put all comical men in the male roles, and dramatic actresses in the wife-roles? Consider it. Randy Quaid is best known as the imbecile Eddie from National Lampoon Vacation. John Carroll Lynch is best known for his 6-season-stint on The Drew Carey Show. Chris Penn is best known for classic 1980's teen romps like Footloose. Meanwhile, Mare Winningham and Elisabeth McGovern are award winning dramatic actresses. I've heard of spiking the ball when casting idiot men alongside genius women, though this is going too far.

Yes, it gets worse...and worse...and worse. See, men in this show cannot simply be stupid, dumb, and possibly mentally lobotomized. No; they have to have moments where they are the occasional...how do I put this delicately?...a-hole. We already know about Garrett's affair with the female Death Star from Hell, which may force him to give $100,000 of his family's fortune to Ms. Star. No; that's not enough. We have to have Hank insult Waylon in the middle of a family dinner, at a time when Waylon was trying to kindly ease the tension of an argument between Hank and Dottie. Hank responds to this tender moment by telling his brother "You gotta know when to be quiet!...Your role here is not to give input!" This is the jackass they place as the "hero" of this series?

The barrage of idiot males and genius females of this show is beyond the feminist point, beyond the female chauvinist point, and even beyond the "are you #$%^ing kidding me?!?" point. The sexism is inane. When Waylon is looking for a job, who does he look to for advice, but his teenage daughter(?). Meanwhile, during a family dinner, a teen son her same age reveals that he's pierced his eyebrow, three times. Does he appear to have any other skills than setting off metal detectors? I wouldn't bet on it.

I think it's saying something when a network is so cocky it feels it can survive a show that should never have left the drawing board stage. CBS has smash hits like Survivor, promising new series like The Handler and Joan of Arcadia, and under-appreciated underdogs like The Amazing Race. CBS has scored so many hits lately, they may have forgotten when to give a show an axe, when the axe is due. That time is right now.

	Final Rating : Burnout. I can see why women hate shows that make all the women look like idiots, but sorry ladies; turnabout is NOT fair play.
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The Brotherhood

of Poland, NH

A Review by Techtite