Techtite's TV Reviews!

"Of course, a sitcom is not measured by its clichés, though by its laughs. Yeah, it's okay to say it now: this sitcom is doomed."

---from the review

------------------

Sidebar ::

-------------

Sink or swim? Tough call. The symbolism of the series premiere where Oliver is a hair away from sinking or swimming is a good one, considering this sitcom was supposed to be released in the fall yet FOX pulled it back until it was more finely tuned. Aside from predictable jibes that the sitcom should've been held back even longer, the real question is, will this sitcom sink or swim? So far, the series has a few lukewarm reviews though many very negative reviews, including TV Guide itself, which on the very week of its premiere flames this series to ashes. Who knows; maybe a fan club is already forming. Then again, maybe ALF will be on the cover of Teen Beat magazine next month. The odds are pretty much the same.  

-----------------

Feel free to contribute. As always, review submissions are accepted!

-----------------

Oliver Beene

A Review by Techtite

I get the most letters against my reviews of the latest retro-TV show. Among the biggest of them was my ill-received review of That 80's Show, which I didn't hate as much as I simply didn't like. However, I truly doubt --cross your fingers-- I'll get too much flak for flaming Oliver Beene. If someone thinks this is an acceptable clone of The Wonder Years, they probably think that they could make a real hamburger with Play-Doh. Remind me never to accept a dinner date at their house.

This is a series set in 1962, where an 11 year old Oliver Beene (Grant Rosenmeyer) remembers his childhood as an adult narrator, not unlike The Wonder Years (or, if you really want to be flattering, A Christmas Story). Oliver is the littlest nitwit in a family of nitwits, and we're asked to live his family's ineptitudes with him. Gee, remember when a look back was to remember something poignant, or at least funny? Well, forget all that. These memories are neither.

Dare one ask: does Ollie have any goals? Well, sort of, yes. It seems that Oliver, even at the young age of 11, has his sights set on the cutest girl in his school, Bonnie Fine (Amy Castle). Now, before you think she is the Wonder Years' "Winnie" to Oliver's "Kevin," think again; while Winnie and Kevin were best friends since childhood, Oliver barely knows Bonnie at all, nor she him. It's clear that they are a total mismatch. THIS is supposed to be the core story of the series? Much like the sitcom itself, this is doomed to failure!

Not that Ollie is a loser in love; he's just totally blind; his perfect match is right underneath his nose. His best friend, Joyce (Daveigh Chase), would be just as cute as Bonnie if not for the "nerd glasses" the prop department forced her to wear. As seen in dozens of romance comedy sitcom clichés, Joyce is clearly Oliver's true love, which as the cliché goes, he won't realize until the series finale (better figure this out fast kid; this doesn't look like that long of a series!).

Of course, a sitcom is not measured by its clichés, though by its laughs. Yeah, it's okay to say it now: this sitcom is doomed. Allow me to try and describe this with the same dripping cynicism of this series' narrator. Did you ever go to a party and hear a guy say a joke, only to have a totally obnoxious drunk tell you the exact same joke, five hours later, insistent that you didn't hear it yet? If you don't laugh, the drunk guy thinks it's because he didn't deliver the joke well enough, so he drives the joke home, again, and again, relentlessly. This sitcom is the same way.

So, get ready for many 40-year-old jokes whose expiration dates went sour at least 35 years ago. See Oliver spill food on his shirt in an embarrassing situation, twice, in the series premiere alone. See his big brother get his head stuck in an ice bucket. See his dad dive into a public swimming pool to go to the bathroom. Are you laughing yet...?

It only enhances your disdain when considering how horrifically misused the two actors are playing Oliver's parents: Grant Shaud and Wendy Makkena. Shaud's work in Murphy Brown would seem to keep him from having to drop his pants for a laugh as early as the series premiere. As for Makkena, her guest stints have included dramas like NYPD Blue and Law & Order, yet now she's simply window dressing. They deserve far better than this.

The biggest sign of ineptitude though, is how a series about a portly little geek sees the need to insult the very "freaks and geeks" who would watch this show at all. Consider the series premiere, when Oliver stumbles upon a teenage game room. The kids in this billiards room are just like Oliver, only smarter, yet Oliver sees the need to narrate this piece of insipid wisdom: "You know when you lift up a big rock and underneath there are dozens of weird, pale bugs lying around? Well that's who these guys were." So, what you have here is a sitcom about a total doofus, who presumes he's Joe Cool when compared to kids ten times smarter than him. What's more; they are willing to accept Oliver as a possible friend --"He's one of us!"-- yet he leaves skid marks to the exit because that's the sort of jackass he is. BIGGEST. LOSER. EVER.

Before you say I just didn't give the show enough time; okay, yes, I saw the second episode too. Sorry; for total sitcom garbage, 60 minutes is my limit. The only "new" offering of note was Oliver's friend, who, even at the young age of 11, is narrated as having all the signs of being gay. Excuse, please: evidence of one's sexual preferences...AT ELEVEN??? Yeah, well, see, we're supposed to "know" this because this boy owns a cute little dog, and likes to dance. Yep; according to the Tao of Ollie Beene, going to the senior prom and not liking pussycats means you're playing for the other team. Gee, that's good to know, there, Ollie, 'cause guess what: all that pain and torment you go through in this episode to make your brother show you some sign of affection, love, and sweetness...? Well, that seemed a little...gay. Just FYI.

Don't think I'm insulting the lead star himself, however. Is the sitcom's flaw having a roly-poly kid in the lead? No. It isn't that the kid isn't likable; it's that the series isn't any good. Maybe someday, people will hear the name Grant Rosenmeyer and think of it with pride. Sadly, the closest time that will happen is five years after everyone has forgotten a sitcom like Oliver Beene was ever attempted at all.

---Techtite

 

Opinions? Speak your mind in Techtite's Letters Page!

Got a review you'd like to share? Techtite will post 2 of the best "guest" reviews received for any product, online, for all the world to see!