Techtite's TV Reviews!

"...if this show is going to imply that it's normal for a teenage son to snap his mother's bra, why not allow for the normal response, and have mom kick him in the groin?"

---from the review

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...Another one of Fall 2004's "Unlucky Seven"

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life as we know it

A Review by Techtite

The now dated formula of "lead actor talking to the camera" is a very volatile trick. Treat the concept too gently, and viewers feel condescended; why tell us what was already painfully obvious? Treat the concept too strongly, and the story becomes boring; a narrative of what should've been acted, not told. However, the real problem with this formula in life as we know it, is that the people talking to the camera clearly have no clue what they're talking about.

The series' lead character is Dino. Jokes about Fred Flintstone's dog notwithstanding, I think this kid first started losing my interest in him when he tries to get his mom's attention by snapping her bra. I'd just as soon believe a daughter would give her dad a wedgie. Even though his mom is a tart --she's cheating on dad with her own son's gym coach!-- that's no excuse for snapping mom's bra, kid. Maybe this unrealistic scene was kept in the story because without it, this entire premiere would've been an overly gratuitous rehash of Dawson's Creek's first episode, practically scene-for-scene: the sleazy mom, the best friend sleeping with his hot teacher, the girlfriend of the lead character who's a bit of a tomboy. Then again, if this show is going to imply that it's normal for a teenage son to snap his mother's bra, why not allow for the normal response, and have mom kick him in the groin?

Then there's Dino's friend, Ben. Ben is for all intent this teen drama's "Pacey," or so the writers want us to think, having so blatantly ripped off Ben's story from Pacey's. To wit: Ben is getting hot and heavy with a school teacher, and even though high schoolboy Ben is about 256 shades of "jail bait," she's willing to have an affair with him as well. In fact; early reviews of the original series pilot claim that she performed a sex act on Ben in the premiere, but the scene was cut. Keep your "little movie critic" at bay, boys; cutting such an inane, unrealistic scene was one of the few smart decisions of this series. At least this teacher isn't so dumb as to give a boy a "quickie" behind the tent of a local carnival.

Then there's Kelly Osborne; this series' magnum opus in publicity hype. Here's what I don't get: she's been cast as a chubby wallflower. No I'm not kidding here. They actually cast the daughter of Ozzy Osborne as a chubby wallflower. Whether you like The Osbornes or not is immaterial. Would you look at Kelly Osborne --even as a fictional character-- and see a "wallflower"? As for "chubby"...don't get me started. Kelly, I mean this in the nicest way possible, but you are totally wrong for this role. Then again, look at the bright side: nobody can call you a bad actress here. The written dialogue is too crappy to tell.

This is just a small taste of the unreality in this so-called "life as we know it." Really...? Gee; I sort of missed the part of real life where teenage girls discuss losing their virginity to their high school boyfriends while shopping for skimpy lingerie. They even giggle doing it. They're about to lose their reputation! Yippee!

The biggest mistake of this series, however, is how hard it tries to be another Dawson's Creek. This is a mistake on many levels, because for one thing, the very concept of a series about snippy teens mature beyond their years is already a dated cliché. In superior dramas like The O.C. realistic kids face realistic problems like unwanted pregnancy or parents remarrying or possibly losing your girlfriend to a guy you know to be a total jerk ("Oliver", anyone...?). In this show, a boy snaps the bra strap of his own mother. This isn't a "to-may-to, to-mah-to" difference; this is a like-night-and-day difference! There's a lot of ways someone could make a teen drama superior to The O.C.. This isn't one of them.

Okay, maybe I should follow a good example. That's enough "smack" from my end. So let's talk a (very) short while about this series' successes. For one; its lead stars are good looking enough. Second: unlike the recent flawed attempt at teen dramatics, The Days, there is no reverse sexism here, where all men are dumb and all women are rocket scientists in training. No; this is an equality drama, where everyone is an equal level of "village idiot." Is that enough to make me want to keep watching? Nope. However; it is enough to keep me from rating this a lowly "burnout" rating. That's something, right?

                                                                    ---Techtite

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