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Survivor (11): Guatemala
Once Again: The Winners, The Cheaters, and (when it
airs), The
Finale...
Has Survivor jumped the shark? I doubt it. That would require something in
the way of, I don't know, "shark jumping," I would guess. As
good as Survivor has been it has never been so grandiose...yet.
Speaking of grandiose; that was perhaps
this season's sole problem. It isn't that it was a bad season, but
rather..."average." This season had no major "love 'em"
or "love-to-hate 'em" contestants. Nobody came close to the
mischievousness of "Johnny
Fair Play"; no female was a Jerri
Manthey; and as for anyone with the charm of season one's Colleen
Haskell...not exactly. But hey; every reality show is a trial
and error as things progress right? They made such a mess of things with Survivor
Vanuatu...and it takes time to pick up pieces that big!
Speaking of trial-and-error as things roll
along: as of this season it's been decided not to
"rate" the first five evictees this season. They weren't on
long enough to fully rate their "performance," and when it
comes to Survivor, they more often are evicted due to some sort of fluke. But
after tribal council number six evicted Brian, it was game-on...literally.
That having been said let's move on to the
latest guest roster:
Jim. Best
One-Line Summary : They boot the oldest first. Interesting.
My Comments:
In any other situation, it would seem like a slam dunk that the oldest
teammate would be evicted first. Jim was nice, but he was the guy most
severely suffering from an 11 mile hike through the jungle in the first
reward challenge. Yet this is survivor, so having a team smart enough to
eliminate the weakest link is rare, indeed.
Morgan. Best
One-Line Summary : Lydia Casualty Number One. My Comments:
Jumping ahead it's odd that so many people from Stephanie's original
team made it to the final six players. Unlike Bobby Jon's team, their
decision making process at tribal council was bunk. One would've thought
they'd eliminate Lydia, who while hardly a senior citizen was the oldest,
least athletic and admittedly most diminutive member of their team. No;
they decide to boot Morgan. Whatever.
Brianna. Best
One-Line Summary : Lydia Casualty Number Two. My Comments:
Once again Stephanie's team is sent to tribal council, and once again
they are faced with the suggestion to boot Lydia. No; boot Brianna. She
doesn't know that term Stephanie used during a sports related challenge.
To be fair; we don't know it either, and for that matter we can't even
remember what it was called. Yet it was enough to get Brianna booted. Go
figure. Sorry Brianna. Booted Off:
Third.
Brooke. Best
One-Line Summary : Lydia Casualty Number Three. My Comments:
Was our needle stuck in the groove at this point...or this show's? By
episode four it was clear someone over at Stephanie's camp needed to play
fair and boot Lydia, who is a nice person indeed but come on; she is the
weakest link. By week four's episode, the tribes had been mixed, with
three people from either tribe sent to the opposition's camp. Even in her
new digs, Lydia was not the MVP. Yet Brooke didn't smile as
much...or...something, and she was next to go. Booted Off:
Fourth.
Blake. Best
One-Line Summary : I'm still "recovering" from that
spiked tree, myself... My Comments:
Say what you will about Blake but he provided one of the most
emotional moments of the entire season, when trekking through the jungle
in the season premiere, only to be hit in the shoulder by a tree covered
with spikes. The spikes went into his shoulder blade so deeply it's a
wonder he was able to do as much as he did in the game at all. That alone
is enough for us to end our summary of this contestant short and spare you
the politics that led to his elimination. Booted Off:
Fifth.
Brian. Best
One-Line Summary : Okay...now it's "game on!" My Comments:
By Brian's elimination this season was starting to take shape. We had
nothing against Brian; in fact the opposite is true. He seemed like a nice
guy, and what's more he was a pretty good teammate, both athletically and
supportively. Yet apparently Bobby Jon's new tribe (after last episode's
"switch-up") was out to eliminate MVP's for some reason, and in
the end, quite peculiarly, it was between Brian and Bobby Jon. Well, Bobby
Jon was the MVP, not just "VP," as it were, so Brian was
eliminated. Booted Off:
Sixth. High Point : Another nice guy
this season. Low Point: Yet unlike
other seasons, the contestants at this point seem sort of "blah"
compared to earlier years...or is it just me? Rating :
 Small
Crater
Margaret. Best
One-Line Summary : What a time to be right, eh? My Comments:
In Margaret's defense, Judd was pretty hard to share a camp with at
this point. The problem is that he was not just the MVP; his team would be
lost without him. The bigger problem; Judd knew this as well, and was
pretty arrogant about it. Margaret felt her best chance in the game was to
pick on Judd's faults and try to get her team to see the light and evict
him instead of her. It was a futile effort, though hey; she was right
about Judd's obnoxious behavior. At least there is that. Booted Off:
Seventh. High Point : If it wasn't for
her nurse skills, there wouldn't have been much of Bobby Jon's team at
all, right on day one. Low Point: Yet
that was half a dozen episodes ago and apparently, the men decided they
won't need medical attention this season. Good luck with that decision
guys. You just may need it. Rating :
 Large
Crater
Amy. Best
One-Line Summary : Achilles' Ankle? My Comments:
By all accounts, even when injured, Amy was a valuable teammate.
That's how valuable she was, to have an ankle that was possibly even a
hairline fracture as far as anyone knew, yet she toughed out the game and
played the challenges to the best of her ability. Yet in the end it was a
choice between her and Gary, who unbeknownst to the contestants this
season, was a retired NFL quarterback. Would this have affected their
decision? Absolutely. Yet at the time they saw only Amy's ankle and an
admittedly likeable Gary, so Amy was voted out. Booted Off:
Eighth. High Point : In terms of
resilience there's perhaps no Survivor contestant like her, with a swollen
ankle yet still working hard to help in the challenges. Low Point:
Although, seriously; it wasn't enough, or else her team wouldn't have been
voting at tribal council. Rating :
Large
Crater
Brendon. Best
One-Line Summary : The seasonal "merge" casualty.
My Comments:
The first contestant eliminated after the merger of the two tribes is
always an MVP. Trouble is: there are two of them. One team had their MVP
(say, Judd), and the opposing team had theirs. Well upon the teams merging
it's all about individual immunity and that means eliminating an MVP or
two, so you have a better shot at immunity. Only one of the
former MVPs can get immunity so it's bye bye to the one who doesn't. So
basically Brendon helped his team get this far yet didn't even get to
participate in the show's final council, to choose a winner. That doesn't
seem exactly fair but it's a topic best left for later. Booted Off:
Ninth. High Point : Cutting a rope
with a sharp stone like it was a razor blade against tissue paper, in a
memorable (and slam-dunk win) immunity challenge. Low Point:
MVP or not, overall it was a surprise he was the next to go; what happened
here? Rating :
Small
Crater
Bobby Jon. Best
One-Line Summary : It was either him or Gary at this point, and
Gary was immune. My Comments:
All the diminutive contestants were all "boot the MVPs" at
this point in the game. Then there's how one team was like "Pagong"
in season one, just waiting to get picked off one by one, via the majority
alliance. Well the next to go was Gary, but there was a wrinkle. See; a
twist this season was an immunity idol hidden somewhere in the jungle near
the camp. Gary sought for it like crazy and found it. At that point it was
a surprising yet still predictable ouster for Bobby Jon; the returning
contestant from last season along with Stephanie, who in the long run only
did about three or four tribal councils better than last time. That's a
shame because to be fair he was the only contestant this season who we'd
rate a "two thumbs way, way up." He did nothing wrong, and was
booted just for petty politics of the overall game. Booted Off:
Tenth. High Point : Unlike the prior
season, he was eliminated as a total winner, of whom his LVP opponents
were fearful of winning immunity. Low Point:
Yet overall you would think he could've reasoned with Stephanie a little,
especially after they'd spent so much time together in Palau.
Rating :
 Deep
Impact
Jamie. Best
One-Line Summary : What was up between him and Bobby Jon?
My Comments:
It's interesting what sort of personalities clash on this series. In
this case you had Bobby Jon, who did not like Jamie's "poor
winner" antics when the tribes were still divided. He'd win and shout
and holler and Bobby Jon would have none of it, leading to a confrontation
where Bobby Jon mimicked Jamie's shouting and Jamie kept on shouting...for
awhile anyway, until he apparently got the message. I say
"apparently" because from that point on Jamie didn't shoot and
holler as much. He instead began brooding, in such a way that his own
alliance began to get suspicious of him. Well as the old rock song goes,
"paranoia, self-destroy-a," and Jamie was sent packing, and by
his own alliance at that. Booted Off:
Eleventh. High Point : To be honest, grand staging
or not he certainly had a lot of team spirit didn't he? Low Point:
Yet on the other side of the coin; that team spirit came back to haunt him
when the tribes merged and it was every contestant for him or herself. Rating :
Small
Crater
Gary. Best
One-Line Summary : An intriguing "fan of the show"
story. My Comments:
A lot of people are all "What is a former NFL quarterback doing
on this show" because, one must assume, he wouldn't need the money. I
don't see it like that. Imagine being a celebrity of sorts who can use his
clout to get onto a reality show, yet they are still relatively anonymous
enough so that, at best, one person recognizes you. Now imagine if that
person is a big fan of Survivor. Well you'd probably use your clout to get
on the show. I don't think it was ever about the money as much as the
game. Like any good sportsman Gary just wanted to see how far he could go.
As it turned out, he went pretty far indeed. Even as his former tribe was
being "Pagonged" one by one via the majority alliance, he found
novel ways to stay in the game as major opponents like Bobby Jon and Jamie
were booted instead. Finding the secret immunity idol in the middle of the
jungle was particularly impressive. Yet in the end it was either him or
Judd and the alliance that was in the majority wasn't ready to boot
Judd...at least, they weren't yet. Booted Off:
Twelfth. High Point : Proving that
even a gray haired ex NFL quarterback has still "got it." Low Point:
Yet when it comes to survivor, he should've shrouded his MVP status a bit
more, and seemed less like a "threat." Rating :
Small
Crater
Judd. Best
One-Line Summary : He doesn't have A.D.D. He just says the
opposite of what he does. My Comments:
It's safe to agree with Judd that, no, he does not seem to have
Attention Deficit Disorder, as Margaret allegedly said to him when she
first met him. Then again, when a guy insists over and over that this is
all "just a game, man," only to get all bitter when eliminated
himself, what's that about? Did he not pay attention to his own speech
about this being nothing personal and "just a game, man?" I'd
say he paid perfect attention; he just was speaking for his opponents, not
himself. This is typical for Judd, who flat out lied to his teammates
about a "clue" to the immunity idol, confessed to it, yet in his
elimination speech is claiming he played with honesty and integrity.
Whatever dude. Your alliance couldn't trust you. Don't take it personal.
After all...it is just a game, man. Booted Off:
Unlucky number thirteen. High Point : As
with all contestants who speak their mind; he wasn't boring. Low Point:
Yet maybe near the end he should've talked less and hid in the shadows
more. Rating :
 Near
Miss
Cindy. Best
One-Line Summary : A new car!!!...and that's it. My Comments:
Consider: if this were Price is Right, the announcer would yell
"A new car!!!" and Cindy would be all smiles and Bob Barker
would tell her what she had to do to win the car. Say, for example, she
had to balance over a thin beam, finish a puzzle, and ride a go cart to
the finish line. Then she'd win and all the sounds and lights would flash
and hey, even if she didn't make it to the Final Showdown, she'd still be
the biggest winner of the episode. That's exactly what Cindy was. Except
this isn't Price is Right; it's Survivor. What's more; nobody who's ever
won the car has won the million. Everyone is always "they won a car
that is at best five digits in price they don't need seven digits in prize
money." Whatever. In the other contestant's defense, Cindy was
offered a tempting strategy; to give all other four game players cars,
with her getting nothing, on the off chance they'd keep her in the game as
reward. She basically nixed that idea...and in her defense, good for her.
It's not like the others made Cindy not feel she was next to be booted, no
matter what. How embarrassing would it have been to reward everyone cars,
and then get eliminated? Cindy didn't want that. Neither did we.
Apparently Rafe and Danni wanted that, though, so off Cindy went...in (drumroll)
her new car! Ding, ding, ding! Booted Off:
Fourteenth. High Point : She won a
car, so why complain? Low Point: Oh
yeah; because her own alliance turned on her out of spite. Sorry. Rating :
Large
Crater
Lydia. Best
One-Line Summary : Redeemed in the finale...upon elimination. My Comments:
Lydia wasn't a mean person. She just didn't deserve to win a million
dollars in this game. Does that make us "mean persons," to say
that? Not at all. Look at the final four. Three of them deserved the
million for strategy, or athletics (Rafe won immunity four times!), or for
athletics and strategy nobody saw coming (Danni). True, it would've been
better strategy to keep Lydia for the final three, since the final
challenge was most likely endurance, and who knows how long Lydia would
last? Yet Rafe and Stephanie were apparently fearful of another
possibility; the return of the final "trivia challenge" about
other contestants, which Lydia --who talked at long lengths with each
contestant-- would have aced. Yet this is small potatoes for the
contestant who is nice and all, yet even by her own admission, seemed a
bit out of place in the final four. The final three decided to unanimously
evict her, which in light of how close she was to the million, she took
very well indeed. Booted Off:
Fifteenth. High Point : As the reunion
show confessed, she was often smiling...even in the worst of times. Low Point:
Yet for all her smiling her Achilles heel was in failing to create the
sort of alliances that Rafe had with both Stephanie and Danni, which is
essentially why she wasn't in the final three. Rating :
Small
Crater
Rafe. Best
One-Line Summary : The shout out heard 'round the internet:
Dude, what were you thinking? My Comments:
To answer the above question, I can only guess, but I'd say Rafe was
so politically correct he effectively jumped the shark...and at the worst
time. See; he didn't simply want to win because of alliances or promises
or politics. He wanted Danni to keep him in the game because she really
wanted him there. Well, yeah, that's really sweet and all, and maybe Danni
should have kept Rafe in the game because he was a nice guy, but this is
Survivor, and As Rafe attested himself: Stephanie was just as worthy to be
in the final two as Rafe was. In fact, that's what Rafe was saying right
up to the end, when he alone voted for Stephanie to win the grand prize.
So why the smack talk to Danni for choosing Stephanie? Maybe it's because
Rafe is such a nice guy. Maybe it's because to be fair, Danni would've
been gone weeks ago if not for Rafe. Maybe it's because, if just out of
fairness, Rafe was the best sportsman this season, having won four
individual immunities, and proven himself as a team player as well, back
when the teams were divided. Yet this isn't Wheel of Fortune, as cruel as
it sounds to admit it. There was simply no point --noble or otherwise--
for Rafe to feel "sorry" for Stephanie, and demand that Danni
not consider their promise to each other ("final two") in her
final decision. Seriously, what were you thinking there? Booted Off:
The "final three" final evictee. High Point :
One whale of a nice guy. Low Point:
Then again; he might just be too nice for his own good! Rating :
Large
Crater
Stephanie. Best
One-Line Summary : This season's "Colleen
Haskell"...with teeth. My Comments:
The easiest summary of Stephanie this season is to reiterate
everything I said about her last
season, though with a bit more "teeth" to it. After all;
Stephanie was the "cute one" (or as we like to call it since the
first season: the "Colleen Haskell") of last season, and she was
hardly not cute now! Yet after being so close and yet so far from
the grand prize last season, she was hardly going to be given a second
chance and settle for just being "the cute one"...! Am I the
only one this made total sense to...? I doubt it. True Stephanie went
against her word (or thereabouts) near the end, but come on; it was near
the end! If folks like Judd and Rafe were going to go all
me-hare-you-tortoise at the end of this "race," who was
Stephanie to not capitalize on their premature senility? I don't to be
mean; just fair. Rafe says to Danni that she shouldn't choose him in the
final two because of promises. Enter Stephanie with the water works, as if
to "insist" she had just as much right to be in the final two as
Rafe did. And you know what...? She was right. In the end Stephanie is
still cute as a button but still...after this season? We won't turn out
backs on you, girl. But in a good way. Honest. Booted Off:
The 100,000 dollar second place prize winner. High Point :
Say what you will about her, but the jury gave some striking questions
to her, and she held her ground well. Low Point:
It's equally honest to say that had she played the game differently she
was most likely to be in the "final two" anyway, and would most
assuredly gotten the votes as the other returning
"Survivor"...had she not helped vote out her own alliance. Rating :
Large
Crater
Danni. Best
One-Line Summary : Well; she didn't fly under the radar, you
can say that! My Comments:
I can't say that I was rooting for anyone this season but I cannot say
I'm the least bit sad who won. Danni was hardly a contestant who simply
flew "under the radar," as the only remaining member of the
former "opposing" tribe that had yet to be eliminated. Yet on
the other hand, this season's editing showed so much of Judd and Stephanie
and Rafe and Cindy, there was little to be seen of Danni. Does that mean
she flew under the radar? No way! She was right there in front of them.
Yet with powerful players comes powerful ambition, and Danni --who is used
to interviewing sports stars in the real world-- knew that better than
anybody. Hey, Stephanie; can you totally trust Judd? Hey, Rafe; can you
really keep Cindy in the game after not giving you a car? It may sound
deceptive but it really isn't. She never had to back stab her own
teammates; the opposing team did that for her. She had no alliances to
break. Well, okay; there was the promise to Rafe, but Rafe himself said
that promise was unnecessary to keep, so he really shouldn't fault her for
that one. In the end, she knew that her best chance at the million was
Stephanie, who had gone against her own alliance to get to the final
three. Danni was right. Why fault her for it? Booted Off:
The one-million dollar winner! High Point :
Overall, the only people who could be upset at Danni winning are
grasping at straws. There's no reason she should not have won. Low Point:
I'm not faulting her for a promise to Rafe that Rafe himself declared null
and void, but I am faulting her for the lackluster response she gave for
"breaking" a promise that --hello, Rafe?-- was already made void
by Rafe. Give her a break Rafe! You're both better than that. Rating :
Large
Crater
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