Techtite's TV Reviews!

" The first inventor shown ...begins his interview by insisting his invention is not a toy. Um...dude? The Hula Hoop. The Frisbee. The Rubik's Cube. Ring any bells?"

---from the review

------------------

Sidebar ::

-------------

Everyone Loves The Running Gag. Okay; as you'll probably attest in the following pages, maybe I went a little overboard mentioning over and over again the first invention of the evening; an invention I affectionately like to call the "pee poncho." Yet come on; they began the whole show with this guy. You reap what you sow, you know what I mean?

-----------------

Feel free to contribute. As always, review submissions are accepted!

-----------------

American Inventor

A Series Premiere Review, by Techtite

What is a "Series Premiere Review"...? It's the latest internet fad; reviewing the first episode of a new series scene by scene. Please note: this isn't a review of the series; that is here. This is just for fun at worst, and at best, a sign of what to do (or not...!) when premiering a new reality series...

<<<PAGE 1 OF 4>>>

First things first: what is "American Inventor"...? A narrator begins by explaining the series' premise. A panel of judges will interview aspiring inventors. They will narrow the field down to 12 finalists, who will each be given $50,000 to take their invention to the next level. Folks at home will then vote on which of these modified prototypes looks like something they would want to buy. The winner gets a million dollars to, one would presume, make their invention into a big business dream come true.

We're immediately introduced to the people who will judge these inventions. These judges are representatives of business, marketing, advertising, and inventing. Look; these guys deserve respect, to be sure, but seriously; I really wouldn't want my name associated with this series. Furthermore, at the risk of being blunt; it's not like these guys are Donald Trump, Bill Gates, Martha Stewart and Steve Forbes. Let's call them Sir Business, Miss Marketing, Mr. Advertising and Inventor Dude.

Is that insulting? To a point; perhaps. Maybe I'm just bitter at having to endure what these guys had to endure, when I'm not even being paid. Sure, Donald Trump has taken the time to do reality TV, but at least his show can sympathize with the viewer. Millions of people apply for The Apprentice. Only the finalists get on the TV series. No time is wasted in the season premiere where some drunkard with three missing teeth mumbles, "Tarnation! Pick me fer yer new beesnees Meeester Traump!" Sure, the "Send in the Clowns" approach works for American Idol, but singing off key is funny. Someone trying to sell crap isn't funny. Yet that's exactly what the majority of this premiere consisted of.

But I digress. The first inventor shown, Hector Ortega, begins his interview by insisting his invention is not a toy. Um...dude? The Hula Hoop. The Frisbee. The Rubik's Cube. Ring any bells? No matter. His idea is "The Bladder Buddy." It's basically a poncho of sorts, which you place over your body to relieve yourself in public. Seriously. You're supposed to pull out this thing and do "number one" into a hidden canister (or so we can only hope). Think about this one for awhile. If you had to "go" so bad that you couldn't wait for a rest room, could you really wait to daintily unpack your pee poncho? You can imagine how severely this invention is shot down. They began the show with this? Egad.

Next inventor is a to-may-to, to-mah-to sort of deal. Which is to say he has a swell idea, but not an invention. Alan Norsworthy calls himself an inventor because he put the jack of an electric guitar to the side instead of the front, so it is less in the way. It's a nice idea, but it's not an invention. It's like adding a DVD player into a car, and claiming to have "invented" a new car. Not really; no. Sorry. Nice idea, though.

James Berry's idea: "The Walk Buddy." It's a stick, that James insists is a "wand." If you were to be attacked by a mountain lion, you could ward them off with this stick. Oh, that's right: wand. He even talks down to Sir Business about it, driving home the word wand. Mr. Advertising is willing to hear the guy out, as he says that the wand emits a sonic burst that wards off muggers and such. Well, asks Mr. Advertising; what if they're wearing earplugs? James says in that case, um ...the wand also has a mace dispenser! Yeah; that certainly sounds like an answer made off the cuff, doesn't it? A mace dispenser in a wand one centimeter thick? Thumbs down again.

NEXT PAGE>>>

<< 1   2   3   4 >>