Techtite's TV Reviews!

"Atheists, Christians, Jews, Buddhists, Muslims, and Hindus can all unite in one irrefutable belief: this is crap."

---from the review

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One Added Rant That Didn't Fit In The Review. One thing that helped steer me away from wanting to give this series any "stars" at all, was how it tries in vain to make its own racism less obvious, by making it appear it's the Christians who are racist. That's pretty low. To look at this series, a Christian family would not want their daughter to socialize with Daniel's adopted son (Ivan Shaw), because --gasp!-- their grandkids would look Asian. So suddenly Christians are racist against Asians? Since when? Answer: Since this series needed a red herring to steer away from its own ignorant prejudice. That's when. Don't get me started with how they take Susanna Thompson, one of the most under- appreciated TV actresses of our time, and reduce her to a monosyllabic bore at best, and a borderline alcoholic at worst. This is because, don't you know, all wives married to Episcopal holy men are drunks, what with the holy wine during mass and all. Ah, prejudice. Who said it makes any sense?

The Book of Daniel

Click picture if you want this crappy series DVD!

A Techtite Review

Jerry Seinfeld [to a priest] : I wanted to talk to you about Dr. Whatley. I have a suspicion that he's converted to Judaism just for the jokes.

Priest: And this offends you as a Jewish person...?

Jerry: No, it offends me as a comedian!

---classic Seinfeld quip

You know; the funny thing about the Seinfeld episode mentioned above, is that at no point was Jerry trying to tell other comedians what to watch. He was just offended...as an entertainer. That's the intriguing thing about some shows, that are not as "awful to god" as they are god-awful. Love or hate Daniel, I suggest the freedom of speech folk and religious folk plan their picketing marches elsewhere. I give this series six episodes.

Let's be clear here: I'm not telling you what to watch. I just push "PLAY" and review. If a comedy is funny I praise it. If a drama is poignant I praise it. If a supposed comedy/drama is funny or poignant I praise it. It's really that simple. Sure, people can try and defend their favorite flop of a TV series in a letter to this web site, but before they do for comedy/ drama Daniel, here's some homework questions. Can they name one comedy moment that was funny? Can they narrate one dramatic moment that wasn't marred by overacting, poor writing, or both? I could come up with no such scenes, so my review is negative. Fair is fair.

You can volley my challenge right back at me. Sure you can. Can I name one scene that was total cornball? I can...and in just the first minutes. Daughter is arrested for drugs. Father (Aidan Quinn) comes to pick her up, in a police station that is lit like something out of The Exorcist. Out strolls said daughter, with light shining all around her, like she's some sort of Angel of Prodigal Daughters. She is then dragged into the almighty Family Car of Bad Over Actors, where her parents scream --yes, scream-- how much they love her. Ah, yes; why talk authoritatively to your daughter, when you can scream to her incoherently? The series volleys this 800-pound-gorilla sized cornball right onto your lap in the first two minutes, and we haven't even reached the first opening credits.

This is just a small sample of how aggravatingly simplified this show's writing is. You want the definitive modern TV cliché? One of Daniel's sons is gay. As Seinfeld may have put it, "not that there is anything wrong with that," but this series wants to let you know, Peter (Christian Campbell) is gay. Not that there is anything wrong with that. So why mention it, endlessly? No reason! But um, just in case you'd want to give us an Emmy or anything: Peter is gay. Nothing wrong with that; just mentioning it...over...and over...and over. On the one hand this series wants to be P.C.; on the other hand they want to demean Peter into cheap shock value fluff.  I'm not gay, and even I can see how ridiculous this is. If it's no big deal, it's no big deal...and it's no big deal. Period. Yes, Daniel; we know. Peter is gay. Big freaking deal.

That's the problem with this series; it has all the depth of a sermon told to you by a bible-thumper who has only casually heard five lines from the Bible in their entire life. They remember the lines like gospel; they just have no idea what they mean. Here's the problem with that; when Daniel's lines are written by people who know nothing about religion, Daniel winds up sounding less like a "holy man" and more like a holy village idiot. One sermon Daniel gives in his church claims that being occasionally bad isn't so bad because "good needs evil in order to be good." Uh...ooookayyyy. Yeah. Nothing like being good for awhile, then doing something bad, for a fair "balance." So what you're basically saying, Dan, is that a man should kiss his wife, hug his children, play with the baby, and then to even things out, beat the crap out of Fluffy? I'd say someone needs a better philosophy of life, but more important: this series needs better writers.

You may ask what the "wow" factor was to this series...as in, ever. By "wow" I mean; what was the sales pitch told to a board room at NBC, which made some naive schmuck say, yeah, green light this sucker? I can only guess they were told the following series concept: on occasion, Daniel talks to "Jesus." No...really. Well...supposedly. "Jesus" (played by Garret Dillahunt) pops in occasionally, and gives Daniel a pep talk. Does "Jesus" tell him something important...? No. Can he offer any help? No. Can he at least offer a cool line of his from the bible, like "May he who is without sin cast the first stone"...? No. This "Jesus" just pops in to say Hi. How nice. Hello, dude. Hey, can you help the writers in this pitifully inept series? No; okay. Ah; the writers gave you something important to say. "Look at the lovely clouds." Very good. Cheerio.

Now, I don't want to scare you off with a sermon here. I'm just saying; This "Jesus" is sort of goofy in this show. Some Christians are offended at this. Is this wrong? Well, let's walk in their shoes for a sec. Take any other religion as example. Imagine if this series made fun of Moses. Imagine if it made fun of Mohammed. Imagine if the spirit of Gandhi popped into Daniel's car and chuckled, "I'm famished! Who's up for a slaughtered cow with cheese? Yummy!" It isn't our place to look at a whole group of people who are offended, and tell them, no, they are "not offended." There is simply no way this series would've even aired, had it offended African Americans, Jews, Hindus, Moslems, Buddhists, or gays. Was it "right" for some Christians to demand it never air...? You miss the point; had it insulted any other religious group, it would never have been made. Think about it.

No, this is not an avid Christian's review. This is the truth. It's the truth from someone who saw this series and thought it was crap. Was it censorship when some Christians demanded it never air? It may have been off base, but it was a correct assessment. This show is crap. Am I telling you not to watch crap? No. Not at all. But let's not get silly here. Now is not the time to watch crap just to spite the people who "forbade" us from watching...crap. It's time we all stopped being so holier-than-thou and accept the fate of all really bad television: cancellation. Amen.

                                                                     ---Techtite

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