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Anyone remember "The Casino" ? It was a supposed reality series about the "real" goings-on (or so we were told) at a real casino. To save you the trip to my sardonic (yet extremely humorous) full review: it was ridiculous. But we could have expected as much from FOX; the channel where reality TV rarely looks better than Paradise Hotel and Love Cruise. From CBS --the home of Survivor and Amazing Race-- we expect more.

That said; shame on CBS, for broadcasting such drivel as Tuesday Night Book Club. Did they want us to stay outdoors for the entire summer, or did someone doped up on Xanax actually think this tripe was broadcast- worthy? This isn't just the worst reality show I've ever seen; that would require it to be more real. No; I will have to sit and ponder what someone ever intended this to be, before I can say what it is not. For now; let's just say it isn't entertaining.

The idea is that a women's book club --"not actors"-- will have their love lives documented for a few weeks. Time out as we discuss how these ladies are "not actors." Well, they may not be professional actors, but they clearly have a director, telling them how to mug to the camera, and when. And if this is reality, what's with the narrator, telling us what to feel and when, along with the cheesy soap-opera style background music? I think I stopped all hope in this show being "real camera footage on-the-fly," when I saw a couple having an argument while driving home in their car. This would be realistic enough, except it's nighttime, the lighting is perfect, and the camera angle is from the hood of the car! This is about as realistic as an afternoon soap...a point driven home, as soon as CBS shows one of their many soap opera commercials.

Okay; so this is about as real as the tooth fairy. It can still be entertaining, right? Well, ladies, let me paint a story, and see how "entertained" you feel. Imagine there's this newlywed husband; let's name him "Larry." His wife "Ellen" is a homemaker, while Larry earns the cash. Larry makes lists of specific things he wants his wife to do while he's not home, and he's totally aghast when the whole list is not completed by dinnertime. In fact, Larry laughs to his buddies about how little Ellen does, and horror of horrors; she actually expects him to be romantic with her at night, after doing "nothing." Laughs his pals, "Say; why don't you hire a maid, and sleep with her instead?" Laughing yet, ladies? Wasn't that just sooooo funny?

Okay; so that isn't exactly what happened. I just want ladies to feel the utter bile this male critic felt towards Lynn; the series' female chauvinist shrew. If Lynn was a man, not only would "he" be hissed at by every woman he met on the street, but he'd probably be sent to The Rikki Lake Show, just to see an old girlfriend verbally kick his ass. Yet muscle-builder Lynn is a woman (cough, cough), so we're apparently supposed to giggle when her "club" discusses how she lists things for her husband to do, how little her husband does that's on the list, and tee-hee, maybe she should hire a gardener, and sleep with him instead. Oh, girl, you so crazy. You know what's crazier? Not latching onto Eddie with both hands, girl, because the only reason he would listen to your incessant whine is if the poor guy was truly in love with you. No need to send him a "thank you" card. Just shut the @#$% up. That's thanks enough.

Can the other book club members be any more interesting? Let's see. We have Jamie, who can't understand what's wrong with her marriage, no matter how many men she sleeps with behind her husband's back. Quite the puzzler, that one. Then we have Chris, who is seen with her kids, cat, skunk(!), and possum(!!!), all of whom are allowed onto the same bed she shares with her husband. Then she wonders why her husband has a drinking problem. We have Jenn, who appears to have the perfect marriage, yet this series wishes to drive the message home that the only reason this is so, is because she was willing to settle for a husband who makes Bill Gates look like Brad Pitt. Rounding out the book club is Kirin (a mom who simply wants more alone time with hubby), Sara (the supposed party girl who oddly enough seems the least interesting), and the book club's "leader," Tina, who listens to all of her book club member's marital woes, giving advice all the way. But with Tina herself a middle-aged divorcée, isn't her advice on "how to stay married" sort of like the blind leading the inept...?

The truth is: even if the basics of these ladies' lives sound real, this isn't how real life works. Take the moment Jamie leaves her husband. Apparently, the fact that Jamie cheated on her husband is not as important as her "freedom," whatever that means. So the narrator makes it clear that this is not so much a skanky-ho given the heave-ho, as much as a woman regaining her freedom. They even play some natty pop music in the background, to "Set me free! Set me free! Set me free!" So: if it was her husband who cheated on her, only to insist he did so because he was "trapped," we're to believe that Jamie would be totally sympathetic about it...? Oh, shine it on, honey. Of course not!

The series' lack of reality jumped the shark for this critic, around the time Lynn and Eddie go to the vet and learn their dog swallowed her wedding ring. Gee, where did I see this before? Of course; it was American Pie 3. Perhaps the scene would've seemed less inane if the X-Ray was a real X-ray and wasn't an obviously retouched photo of an oversized ring superimposed over a "real" X-ray. What's worse; Lynn and Eddie seem totally humorless about the moment, with Eddie's biggest "ish" that Lynn be the one to sift her ring from the dog's poop. That's the least of your problems, dude. The bigger problem is how your wife removed her ring, dropped her ring, let the dog eat her ring, and all without her knowing about it. Great; she's not only a shrew. She's the Queen Of All Village Idiots...that is, if this whole farce actually happened. Which it didn't. Trust me on that one.

Yet the most unrealistic part of this series is the whole farce of the so called "book club." Gee; how can CBS make it seem like there is any realistic link between these girls' unrealistically cliché, soap-opera stories...? Are they a sisterhood of traveling panties? Are they keepers of the divine secrets of "ya-ya" sisterhoods? No; they just belong to the same book club. Okay, sooo; what book did they read? Well, ha-ha, it had "sex" in the title...yet the most one of them read of it was 20 pages. Then they wonder why all their marriages are falling apart!

It's fair enough to say that someone likes this show. It was approved for CBS, after all. Even my fellow female couch potato liked it enough to want to see it next week...but for me, this is tripe as sexist as Baywatch. Two guesses how many episodes of Baywatch my fellow female couch potato watched. Two more guesses how many episodes of this drivel I'll ever watch again.

	Final Rating : Burnout. This totally one-sided, feministic, sexist, man-hating rant of a show is hardly compassionate to men, so allow this male critic to be equally compassionate: your show sucks, ladies.
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Tuesday Night Book Club

A Review by Techtite