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Techtite's TV Reviews! |
"Dirt...depicts all tabloids as irrefutably evil folk who hurt the quasi-heroes of Hollywood. The problem is: in their quest to make the paparazzi look like imbeciles, they've made every character into a vapid, unbelievable cartoon caricature." ---from the review
------------------ Sidebar :: ------------- "You'd Feel Differently If You Were" Blah Blah Blah-de-Blah. Are tabloids irrefutably evil? Maybe not. Sure, a celeb might retort to this perspective, saying that I'd feel differently if I were a celebrity. Well, if a tabloid called me "fat"; perhaps. If I acted like a buffoon, I should expect to reap what I had sown. The singer who shaves her head. The actor who attacks someone with a hotel telephone. Either these guys are insane, or they're just celebs looking for a good photo op. Either way: the tabloids are not completely culpable. They just report the darker news. |
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Dirt
First things first: the series title. Allow me to digress as I offer some of the thousand jokes that are possible with such a poor series title. Man, can you believe Courteney Cox reduced herself to as low as Dirt? Did you see the ratings for TV this week? The worst show was even lower than Dirt! Critics agree: this show should be buried...in Dirt! What's that smell? It must be Dirt...or is it? The laughs just keep on coming. Too bad as soon as the real show begins, things all go downhill...and yes, by "downhill" we mean; into the Dirt. Fans of the sitcom Friends will ask, "What about Courteney Cox?" Perhaps they should ask that question to the series' producers. Every episode begins with the Emperor Of All Nerds saying, "Hi, I'm Don Conkey!" Who the heck is Don Conkey? Did we want to see Don Conkey?!? No. We tuned in to see Courteney Cox. This series would never have been green lit if not for Courteney. Who decided that every episode would be introduced not by the series' selling point, though instead, by the series' resident moron? You'll notice this is a slightly more brutal review than I usually write. Sorry, but you reap what you sow. This could've been a favorable review so easily. If the makers of this series did not want to perform such easy steps to make a successful series, the claws should come out. There was a very intriguing series idea here, about tabloids and the symbiotic relationship they have with a media-hungry, "C-list" Hollywood. Think about the female celebrity who goes out in public wearing a miniskirt with no panties, only to "stumble" out of the limo in such a way as to guarantee the paparazzi a clear shot of her you-know-what. Ask yourself: What normal human being does this? Answer: a celebrity looking for free publicity. You may think of tabloids as parasites, and yet for some celebs, they're symbiotes. It's this sort of dark and sordid world of Hollywood that could've been one brilliant drama. Unfortunately, while this series follows through on the "dark" and "sordid" part, it falls short almost everywhere else. A smarter show would show both sides of all people, good or bad, much like The Sopranos. Not so for Dirt, which depicts all tabloids as irrefutably evil folk who feed on the quasi-heroes of Hollywood. The problem is: in their quest to make a one dimensional show where all paparazzi are imbeciles, they've made every character into an unbelievable cartoon caricature. Let's start with the series magnum opus of dweeb, "Don Conkey." Mind you; this character's faults have nothing to do (with the actor who plays him, Ian Hart. He's just working with what little the writers and directors have given him. A superior show would make Don into the "Tony Soprano" of the tabloid photographer world. You know how Tony is depicted as a cad, a murderer, a "kingpin," yet for the most part, a human being with a family to protect? Well, Don Conkey is a loser, a nerd, a lame-o, and ---get this--- a "functional" schizophrenic(!). It's one thing to depict all paparazzi as buffoons. Then again: if you were going to give this nerd more screen time than Courteney Cox's character, wouldn't it have been prudent to have made the character entertaining? Yes, there are other characters. Yet inexplicably; they all seem like the supporting cast compared to the screen time for "Don Conkey." Even Courteney Cox is reduced to little more than window dressing, when by all accounts, she is the star of the show...and with reason. This isn't just another Friends alum recycling their former sitcom character. Hers is a character totally unlike "Monika," and shows Cox's acting range very well. She also isn't afraid of a semi-nude scene on occasion, if the part requires it (are you listening, Lisa "Comeback" Kudrow?). Yet the real truth is that the whole cast is talented. It's the show itself that is flawed. That's the problem: talented stars or no talented stars, what really makes a series go so horribly wrong is the writing. Sure, the writers can defend themselves by saying that they were "forced" to make everyone who works for tabloids look like insensitive dolts. That's still no excuse for disinteresting writing. It's saying something when Jennifer Aniston guests stars as a lesbian, kisses Courteney's character full on the lips, and the scene is actually boring. In another time and place you would want to give a trophy to a series that actually made a slam dunk ratings ploy into boring crap. Nah; forget a trophy to get the point across. The series' cancellation will do.
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