Techtite's TV Reviews!

"I'm guessing the interviewer expected Hillary to be more humble than to pompously mention her own Globe win as 'her favorite moment.' She was wrong."

---from the review

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The Little Points...  

Any three hour telecast is bound to have those little details that don't make it into the review, though are worth mentioning. Here are the best (and worst!):

---Tina Fey and David Spade present the award for Best Actress in a TV Series Drama, by jesting that they were there to present the award for "Least Humorous Performance By An Actress In a TV Series."

---From Hugh Laurie's acceptance speech: "Everyone says they have a wonderful crew and logically that can't be the case. Somebody, somewhere, is working with a crew of drunken thieves!"

---Kyra Sedgwick would win as Best TV Actress (Drama) for The Closer, where she'd say how her series has been "such an unexpected gift." Buy the first season on DVD and you'll know why.

---Disney/Pixar's "Cars" would win as best animated movie, though between you and me, Over the Hedge was just plain snubbed in this category, especially when they bothered to nominate ...Monster House? Huh?!?

---Meryl Streep, when winning for her portrayal of the mean spririted boss in The Devil Wears Prada, pulls out an acceptance speech to the moan of an audience member, only to retort, "Oh shut up! It's not that long!" That was funny.

---Even funnier; when Streep would look at the audience and muse how she probably has worked with "everyone" there...!

---Eddie Murphy's brutally honest  "Ill be damned!" when accepting the Globe for Best Supporting Actor in Film (Dreamgirls).

---Love or hate Ugly Betty; it was rather curious that while every other big speech of the evening led to reaction shots from the audience, the camera stayed on the cast of Betty the whole time. What was the audience's reaction? We'll never know...

---Clint Eastwood's speech included a sort of "We're old but we've still got it...right, Jack?" shtick, which didn't seem to go over too well with fellow "oldie" Jack Nicholson.

---When Dustin Hoffman was on stage just after Warren Beatty won the DeMille Award this year, he made a cute joke about how little mention "Ishtar" received. The joke is funny if you consider how Ishtar is perhaps the biggest cinematic blunder in both seasoned actors' careers.

---Sacha Baron Cohen would waste all his acceptance speech time, pre-music cue, going into detail about the "anus and testicles of my co-star," and "that rancid bubble" he smelled while there.

---If just to keep this list an even dozen, we have to love Alec Baldwin's win as Best Supporting TV Actor for 30 Rock. Simply put; he's the best part of that comedy series so far.

The Golden Globe Awards Show, 2007

A Review by Techtite

The Golden Globes are an odd duck. One year they snub Lost. Another year they give Lost the Globe for best drama...finally. One year they seemingly confess that they, too, are hooked on Desperate Housewives. Yet the very next year they nominate nearly every "Housewife" and Mary Louise Parker, and give the Globe to Parker, for the ultimate "[bleep] you" to the cast of Housewives. Such are the bizarro shenanigans each year of Golden Globes. That's why we love it...and hate it.

Let's jump to the sort of moments we love: Martin Scorsese would finally get his due, and win the Golden Globe for Best Director of a Motion Picture. This was wonderful. The standing ovation he received was even more wonderful. I can make a list as long as my arm of Scorsese's best films, though I felt he was particularly robbed in recent years, with the snubs of such under-appreciated epics as The Aviator and Gangs of New York. Fortunately, The Departed could keep his deserved Golden Globe away no longer. Let's hope Oscar night feels the same way.

Not that everyone has to wait until they're 64 to get their due these days. Jennifer Hudson would win as Best Supporting Actress in a Motion Picture, for her very first film role (Dreamgirls). The young newcomer made a humorous albeit unintentional joke, when saying "You don't know how much this [award] does for my confidence!" She would then realize how obvious the statement is for a Globe winner, so she'd explain what winning the award meant for her, specifically: "...it makes me feel like part of a community, and it makes me feel like an actress, and you don't understand how much that feels good to say." Another cute moment.

People who saw Hudson's early win last night, expecting a Dreamgirls sweep, left halfway disappointed. It would earn just three of the five Globes it was nominated for tonight, and even though one of those was the coveted Globe for Best Motion Picture: Musical or Comedy, the following speech would lead to one of the biggest (yet admittedly cryptic) snubs of the evening. Why? Because Producer Lawrence Mark was given a mere 45 seconds before a sound cue began ushering him off the stage. Consider: Hugh Laurie's speech lasted nearly two and a half minutes without any sound cue warnings of going overtime. Sacha Baron Cohen was given the same speech time as well, as he went into detail about how smelly his co-star's backside is. Yet one of the biggest award winners of the evening gets just 45 seconds to speak? That's just wrong.

That was the problem with the Globes show for 2007: it isn't whether or not an awards show goes overtime, but why. If the show went overtime because everyone was having too much fun; so much the better for the viewer, right? However: If various comedians simply wanted to make their speeches into standup routines, they should not have been allowed to do that, and then give their actual actual, boring acceptance speeches. Then there was this show's various interviews before commercial breaks. This year's Biggest Waste Of Time: Hillary Swank (who wasn't even a nominee this year) being asked what her favorite moment in Golden Globes history was. I'm guessing the interviewer expected Hillary to be more humble than to pompously mention her own Globe win as "her favorite moment." She was wrong.

Ah, yes, oh fanboys of "Borat": there was also Sacha Baron Cohen, who would indeed win a Globe for his racist portrayal of person from Kazakhstan. Don't argue with me about the "racist" angle. Good comedy does not need racism to be funny. In any episode of Seinfeld, it is immaterial if you are Muslim or Christian or Jewish. Each joke is still funny. Imagine if Borat was dressed as a rabbi, as he "comically" washes his face in the toilet. Gee; where'd the joke go? Would Ben Stiller have been as ready to call his buddy's film "one of the funniest movies ever"...? I will stand on a soap box no longer. Just...think about it.

Clearly, the Foreign Press was looking for the "hip" or "pop favorite" choices this year. When it came to Scorsese finally getting a Globe, that's great news. Other moments...? Not so much. Consider Ugly Betty's win as Best Comedy Series. Look; a lot of little girls in braces love Betty. I myself love the series' brilliant publicity gimmick, where they needed to make Miss Ferrera look "ugly" ---and with all due compliments to Ferrera, that was not gonna happen--- so their marketing department puts her in braces. Even if only a 12 year old would consider braces as tantamount to "ugly," the idea was a brilliant publicity gimmick. Putting a 20-something character in prepubescent braces? Pure marketing genius. Giving the series a Globe? Not as "genius." Who knew the foreign press was so easily influenced by their tween daughters?

As for the presenters...I don't know; maybe they were saving expenses and removed all the teleprompters this year. While this may sound like they were forced to just "be themselves," they mostly just looked like actors without a script, and that's just plain boring. George Clooney began the show by opening the envelope for "Best Supporting Actress in a Motion Picture," only to act like the envelope read, "Leonardo DiCaprio, strangely...!" Justin Timberlake meekly tried to make the joke a running gag for the very next award (Best Original Song), only to be left hanging on stage when Prince, who was supposed to be present, was reportedly held up in traffic. Justin lowered his height to that of the microphone as he "accepted the award on his behalf." When an ill received height joke is the most memorable moment the presenters could give, that isn't good.

You may wonder what the Golden Globes' "Moment of the Year" was. You know the moment I mean. From teary eyed winners giving their Globe to Jack Lemmon, to winning actresses stuck in the ladies room while expected on stage; one such moment happens every year. This year's such honor goes to America Ferrera. We may not have agreed with her series' win, though if you ever wondered how witty Ferrera is as an actress, watch a recording of The Golden Globes this year. America Ferrera walks off stage, expecting an interview with Maria Menounos, who was standing right there. Unfortunately, it would appear that Maria was too afraid she'd lose track of what she was supposed to say before commercial, so Maria doesn't even seem to notice America standing right next to her. When Maria finally completed what she was there to say, America is quickly ushered in front of the camera, as Maria asks, and I quote, "What do you say to all those people who did not want you to play 'Ugly Betty'...?" America's handling of the question was dead solid perfect, saying she didn't know of such people, and fortunately (with her sarcasm quite obvious), the producers saw enough "Ugly" in her to be Betty. We love Maria, so we're sure she was just flustered when asking such a question. America's handling of the question was perfect, though.

Governor Schwarzenegger presented the final award of the evening, for motion picture drama. Babel won, against Bobby, The Departed, Little Children, and The Queen. While this is often seen as a signal of what's to come for the most coveted award Oscar night, I'm not so sure. Oscar is still feeling the heat after last year's big controversy, where Ang Lee would win Best Director yet Brokeback Mountain would not. Of course; every director worth his salt wants to see Scorsese finally get his due, so maybe lightning will strike twice, in two places, once again...so to speak.

In the end it's hardly detrimental to Globe history when I say this was just another awards show. However; as TV entertainment, this was about as entertaining as a Ping-Pong match. No major acceptance speeches. No hilarious presenter shticks. No award show host, for that matter. Yet the show still managed to go overtime...! I'd just as soon they bring back Best Original Songs next year and allow the singers to sing them, to break the monotony. It may make the show run overtime, though the number of viewers still awake will be even longer. Make it so!

                                                                    ---Techtite

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