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Techtite's TV Reviews! |
"...frankly, Trump, Burnett, or NBC should do the intelligent thing and pull the plug now." ---from the review
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The Celebrity Apprentice 2(Also Known as "The Celebrity Apprentice Season 2)
"You're a poker player" says Joan Rivers in the most snide way possible...and who, one must hope, is not scheduling any Vegas act anytime soon! Some shows get renewed because they're actually good. Other shows get renewed because of a lower budget and an easily acquired cast (wake me when "celebrity" refers to someone we actually want to see). Seriously; why does Celebrity Apprentice keep coming back? Simple: because people love junk food...and really bad junk TV. Is that being harsh? No. The Celebrity Apprentice 2 was not only horrible; I am rather disappointed in myself that I watched this season at all, and renewal or no renewal, I have had quite enough. Everything that was "The Apprentice" has left the building, and as for "celebrity," I doubt that was ever in the building at all.
Here's where things begin to turn sour: "celebrity." This is the fifth time I've put "celebrity" in quotes and believe me: it's very kind of me to put the word "celebrity" in this review at all. True, these "celebrities" are working for charity. That's cool. Even so; couldn't they find "celebrities" who were more fun to watch than Tom Green and Andrew Dice Clay? Meanwhile: love or hate Annie; she is apparently a "celebrity" simply because she plays poker a lot. To be fair: Annie brought in enough of her poker friends to earn 200,000 dollars for charity, in just one week. In fact: she won the final competition by leaps and bounds, where opponent Joan Rivers earned less than $200,000, and Annie earned over 400,000. Yet Donald declared Joan the "winner." Why? Simple: Joan was one of the few real celebrities this season. Then again: the goal of this game was to raise the most money for charity, correct? Yet Donald let the person win, who earned the least money. Huh...?!? It doesn't help that Donald is clearly bitter that this season's cast of "celebrities" is, to be candid...awful. While he has kind words for some of these people, he has no mercy for the likes of Tom Green or, for that matter, Khloe Kardassian, the latter of whom is treated like dirt because she is required to skip a week of the show. Then Donald finds out she was gone because of a court date, for a DUI charge...leading to him firing her for that reason alone. This is soon after Donald fired singer Tionne Watkins, simply for sticking up for a friend! Yeah, see; Tionne wanted to be there with her "BFF" while Donald Trump fired her, as moral support. Surprise! Donald fired Tionne instead. "Don't ever volunteer [to risk getting fired]" was Donald's apparent lesson. Whatever, dude.
Then again, to be perfectly candid: while the show went "too far" when allowing Joan to be in the finale, it was Joan who went too far, when acting like the Queen of all Earth, treating many of the other contestants this season like they were worthless trash. Contestants like Clint Black got off easy, with just a few whines from Joan; for "pokah playah" Annie, the bile was more severe. For some arbitrary reason Joan Rivers hated, hated, hated Annie, who she even compared to Hitler. Why so much bile for someone she barely knew at all? Only one reason was ever aired: Melissa was a bitch on the show, then needed defending in the board room, and (gasp!) Annie didn't defend her. If not defending arrogant shrews makes someone "Hitler," what, dare one ask, does Joan Rivers think of someone who is actually bad? I know Donald wanted to increase ratings with some remote form of "drama" this season, though this Melissa versus Joan "conflict" was just inane. In the end, Joan won, making this season so laughably bad; it's one of my few zero-star ratings, in ten years of online TV reviews. This isn't just because of the D-list celebrities. This show was so inept, so unfair, and so nauseatingly artificial, I just can't take it anymore. Joan was the supposed "hero" of the season, fighting valiantly against the evil "pokah playah" who insulted her widdle puddy-poo, Melissa. This is the best celebrity show that Donald Trump could offer this season? I don't know if I should berate him or pity him. In either case: I'm simply not interested in watching this anymore. Is this the last season? Sadly, no. Donald promised us season three in the season's finale, though frankly I'm dumbfounded as to why. Who will be so desperate for attention as to agree to star in this horribly inept series? The original idea was that a bunch of selfless celebrities would offer something good to charity. Here's a thought: give something charitable to us all, Donald Trump...and spare your repuation, and viewers, the agony of another season. Enough.
Opinions? Speak your mind in Techtite's Letters Page!
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Burnout
Near
Miss
Small
Crater
Large
Crater
Deep
Impact
Here's the premise for people who gave up watching
garbage TV for lent: Trump brings in "celebrities" who each represent
a charity. They perform challenges a la The Apprentice, which
in a nutshell involve various business tasks like a commercial campaign,
a promotional event or some sort of fund raiser. The winner each week
gets a minimum 20 grand for their charity, plus whatever additional
money they could earn for the task (one "celebrity" brought in over 200
grand!). Sounds good so far, right?
All
this reaches fever pitch in the last few episodes. Why? Because Joan
Rivers was stupid enough to bring along daughter Melissa Rivers (just in
case you wondered if the umbilical cord was finally cut yet). When
Melissa loses the game and is (finally!) fired, mama Joan Rivers
dramatically packs her bags and quits the show. She then returns the next day...with no
questions asked! So let's review: while it's "horrible" to stick up for
a friend, it's okay to 