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"I'm not against potty humor, though if [flatulence] is to be Shrek's sole "super power" in the whole game, it had better not be worthless..." ---from the review -----------------
Also reviewed: Shrek on DVD ------------------ Sidebar:: ----------------- "Well, okay, the graphics are good..."Admittedly, it's hard to not throw this game a bone, saying that the graphics are typically great, as X-box games have been so far. However, how much of a no-brainer is this comment on The X-Box? All games will look cool on this system, graphics wise. It's the value of the game itself where they must be judged. That said, yes, Shrek-the-game really was that bad. "...on the other hand, they really aren't that good, are they?" Unless you count exploding flatulence as a special effect, this game is grotesquely without any major 3D acceleration FX. Water doesn't reflect, realistic lighting in the crypts is as dark as it is lame, and so-so textures seem ripped off from either Heretic 2 or Quake 1. X-box can work its magic to make the overall environment look acceptable, though compared to Halo, Obi-Wan, and DoA3, this game's graphics are a JOKE. |
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Shrek(for X-Box)
Click graphic, above, to order this game (X-BOX) A Techtite ReviewForget E.T. on the Atari 2600. Forget Jurassic Park Interactive on the 3DO. Shrek, the widely popular film, has been made into: The. Worst. Super. Mario. Clone. Ever. If you plan to actually play this game, I suggest you go take a picture of your face. Why? It is about to be clawed off...by YOU...in as early as the third level of the game. While there, I may take a picture of your hair as well, before it's been pulled from its own roots. You've been warned.
If you want to know what Shrek can do here,
well...not much. He can punch and kick, though this only seems to tick
your opponents off. I can understand not wanting to
"kill" enemies in a child-oriented There is a small glimmer of what this game could have been, though it's short lived. All mission objectives are listed in a storybook, complete with narrator. Initial missions via this book are cute, playable, and fun; like saving six baby eggs from being "taught" by Humpty Dumpty how to fall off walls. In another mission, you must wake up the sleeping knights, by kicking them right in their posteriors. Then there's the mission where you must stop the "cow who jumped over the moon" from disco dancing at night, waking everyone up. How do you accomplish this? By breaking wind, right into his face. Oh, well; at least it's easy to do, which is more than I can say for the whole rest of the game.
The naive who have merely read the book may ask why I didn't simply use the cheat codes. Ah, yes; complete three "timed missions" and you can buy a cheat code like, say, invulnerability. Trouble is, these codes are a tease, and do not count towards the actual completion of a mission. So why include them? This was the one place where the game could reward you with...anything, and they couldn't even handle that right. You'll notice there are no walkthroughs for this game available on the web. Nor much online help, nor decent feedback on the newsgroups...nor anything, anywhere! As for an official strategy guide, forget it. This is a game where even the biggest names in "official hint manuals" have decided to avoid it like the plague. Others prefer not to even acknowledge its presence, fearful that bad-mouthing a single initial-release for X-Box will be bad for sales. Hardly; there's Halo, Obi-Wan, Dead or Alive 3, Oddworld 3, and on and on, to make sure that will never happen. Too bad about Shrek, though; given how I loved the film, this was very disappointing. If you insist on seeing Shrek on the Box, purchase the DVD of the film, and leave this game far behind.
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Burnout
Near
Miss
Small
Crater
Large
Crater
Deep
Impact
Maybe I'm too picky. Maybe I'm just
confused about how an alleged "
video game, though
who said anything about killing; enough kicks from Shrek should render
these guys unconscious for the remainder of the level; not just 5
seconds! Making matters
worse, Shrek's sole capability to jump higher is by belly- flopping
against a nearby wall, so he can ricochet
onto a cliff or catwalk behind him. You can imagine how few times this really
works. Last (and least), is Shrek's ability to
flatulate at will. I'm not against potty humor, though if this is to be
Shrek's sole "super power" in the whole game, it had better not
be worthless, for 16 of the first 18 mini-missions. In case you were
keeping track; that means Shrek's "super flatulence" is only
useful TWICE, in the first whole half of the game!
Later missions are not just dull and
uninspired; they're nearly impossible. Red Dragon's Castle (shown
here) --the only level slightly based on the film-- is visually
impressive, though you can't enjoy the scenery because the knights shoot endless fire arrows at you, making enjoyment of the scenery impossible. Another level offers the
so-called "Prince Charming's Castle," where one of Shrek's objectives is
kicking Prince Charming up four flights of stairs, so Princess
not-so-charming can give him a kick of her own. This sounds funny in text,
though in the game you must continuously kick him up twisting, turning,
narrow staircases
--while he continuously tries to run away-- with the palace knights at your tail the whole
time, kicking your butt. Did I
mention that enough hits from these knights means you must start over from scratch? Stop to get a health power-up, and the Prince
runs right down to the ground floor. Sure, I completed this eventually,
though by then, I forgot why I should care.