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Oh, joy and rapture; the latest MTV  "celebrity" MTV has led to many questionable "celebrities." Gilbert Godfried, Judy Tenuda, and Pauly Shore all got their big break on MTV. It's enough to make you sue for noise pollution. Tom Green is the latest "in" star at MTV, in an age where the latest form of what's-cool is to stomach the most grotesque images imaginable. "Whoh, man; look at Tom Green doing nasty things to a male horse! I didn't throw up when seeing that; I must be sooooo coooool!" Um...right, kid. Put that on your résumé when you go to work at Denny's. Who knows; in two years, maybe Tom Green will join you...as your trainee.

Tom has one more thing against him, however: MTV viewers have the attention span of gnats. Sure, Beavis and Butthead were cool a few years back, though how about now...? Fanboys, at even the most respectable movie consensus sites, give him "five star" reviews for this film --a total TURKEY at the box office-- though how embarrassed will they be, when they re-read their reviews two years from now? Tom Green may be "in" to the ganglier geeks, though that won't last long. Thank heaven.

Freddy Got Fingered

(A film so bad, I refuse to smear my web site's reputation with an order link!)

A Techtite Review

The Film: Somewhere, Heather Graham and Chris Klein are sending Tom Green a big fruit basket with a thank-you card on it. Why? Because thanks to him, they no longer have the embarrassment of starring in the Worst Comedy of 2001, which until Green came around, was most likely  Say It Isn't So!. Now, that dubious "honor" falls upon Tom Green, who stars, co-wrote, and directed his latest so-called "comedy," Freddy Got Fingered. I would hope, given how bad this film is, that it couldn't possibly be topped by an even worse comedy. However, that's what I said when seeing Say It Isn't So, and look what happened! If you have a neighbor who liked this film, it's time to move out.

If you're wondering who gave this imbecile the rights to call himself a "comedian," read this paragraph and be afraid. Tom Green is one of a criminally long list of "comics" made popular by --of all places to judge comedy-- MTV. Remember Pauly Shore and Judy Tenuda? Well, they both got their start at "fame" from MTV. While MTV's current reputation --gee, didn't the "M" used to stand for music?-- is no longer strong enough to give instant fame to a moron, Tom has one more feather in his cap, in the form of his love-is-truly-blind bride, Drew Barrymore. After all, she nearly ruined her own production vehicle, Charlie's Angels, by putting her allegedly "comic" boyfriend in a grating cameo ("The Chad is Great!...The Chad Is Great!"...ugh). To make matters worse, his annoyance in that film was for mere minutes; in this, he is in the whole film!

Tom plays the role of Gord, a 20-something nitwit, who just moved out of his parent's basement (temporarily) to pursue his dream, of becoming a famous Hollywood animator. Then he moves back in again, while...well, if you're still interested in the story, you've got the wrong film! Likewise if you're looking for continuity, among so many scenes that make no sense. For no reason other than for a joke that Tom thinks is a riot, he becomes a clerk at a cheese sandwich shop. Green is told there is not enough cheese on a sandwich, which leads to him constantly screaming as he puts slice after slice of extra cheese on the sandwich. If done in the 90's, to the incessant whining of Urkel's "Does anyone have some CHEEEEESE?" this scene could have been a bit funny. Here, it just seems pathetic.

Of course, any comic this certifiably insane would have to believe that gross humor, a la There's Something About Mary, should merely be gross, not humorous. Here's just a small sample : shaking a horse's extended genitals, twirling a baby by the umbilical cord,  and child molestation. I'm reminded of the giant hamster scene from Nutty Professor 2, which left me scratching my head, as to why a grown man would try to cover himself with a fur coat, to protect himself from a giant rampaging hamster. The answer as to "why" is simple; just to pave the way, to an incredulous, laughless joke. Remember that, as you see Gord do something even more inconceivable; gutting a deer by the side of the road, just so he can wear the carcass and --har, har!-- walk in front of a truck. Unfortunately for the film, he survives.

Of course, at least Tom Green had that fruit basket from Graham and Klein to enjoy, while watching his film tank at the box office. He may have the basket yanked from him, however, in retaliation for forcing poor Rip Torn and Julie Hagerty to ruin both their careers as Tom's parents. Oh, yes, there's also poor Anthony Michael Hall, once from such memorable comedies as National Lampoon's Vacation, The Breakfast Club, and Weird Science, who is in this film as a talent evaluator. Do I even have to tell you how the evaluation went? After all, this film is a gross, nauseating farce, though showing Tom Green pass a talent test would go too far.

The DVD: Dare I admit, this DVD actually has the crust to take the time to add bonus features...? While on a roll, I'll also admit that one cynical bonus feature is quite funny; a PG-rated director's cut of the film, which clocks in at only 3 minutes. Indeed.

As for the other bonuses, to be honest, I avoided this DVD like the plague. To Tom Green fans, however, I offer the following info: audio commentary is by Green, with additional commentary by Harland Williams, Marisa Coughlan and Rip Torn. There's an audience laugh track if you're wondering where the jokes were supposed to be, and an MTV "making of" special that makes you lament how low the network has fallen. Oh, there are also 8 deleted scenes, though come on, now; do you really want to see the 8 scenes that Tom considered too bad to include in this film?

	Final Rating : Well, Drew Barrymore thought Tom Green was funny enough to marry...only to have him divorce her, and say she wasn't his type. That's okay, Drew; Tom's nobody's type.
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