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 Techtite
TV
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What is Techtite TV?
Far
from a recommendation of "What to Watch," these mini-reviews are all the shows I
personally saw (or will see) in the present
week. Sure, we all watch CNN, the evening news, and one or two of those
"other" news shows, and yet how do we feel about the other shows
we watch weekly? Here are my own mini-reviews, episode-to-episode.
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Feel free to contribute.
As always, review submissions are
accepted!
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Sidebar
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Best Reason to Turn on
TV This Week:
Buffy the Vampire
Slayer.
A golden scythe may sound a bit cheesy, though it's just the type of schmaltzy
storytelling which this series needs, as it heads for its series finale
next week.
Biggest Disappointment
This Week:
Survivor: the Amazon. Jenna
won...? How'd that happen? Don't tell me female chauvinist Deana convinced
the jury to vote for the sole remaining female? That's the only sane
possibility I can come up with, for a very inexplicable (and nearly
unanimous) vote!
Quote
of the Week:
"If you
die, I'll bring you back. It's what I do!"...Xander
to Buffy in this week's Buffy the Vampire Slayer, referring to how he's
already saved Buffy's life twice when she apparently died: first in season
one's finale "Prophesy Girl" (where, since Angel doesn't breahe,
only Xander could give Buffy CPR), and also in season two's
"bargaining." This isn't even getting into the premiere of season
six, when they had to literally bring Buffy back from the dead. Good work,
Xander!
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Encapsulated TV reviews
for:
May 10th-May 16th, 2003.
The Techtite.com ratings system (icon version):
 Burnout
 Near
Miss  Small
Crater  Large
Crater  Deep
Impact
For
more on this web site's "Techtite" rating system, click here.
Saturday
11:30, NBC : Saturday
Night Live was a repeat. Or not. I really don't care anymore
until they hire some new comics.
Sunday
8:00, CBS : Survivor:
Amazon (Season finale) Once
again, CBS oddly (and for people without TV Guides, quite cruelly)
places the finale of Survivor on Sunday night. However, was it worth it
to see it in the first place? It was bad enough that Jenna, Rob, Butch,
and Matthew were the final four, though for Jenna to win the million
among that sorry lot, is almost like Moe, Larry, and Curly losing to Shemp.
In the end, I guess we were all stooges for watching this season at all.
What a waste, if the biggest spoiled brat --and most unworthy of the
million-- was the final one standing.
Near
Miss
10:00, CBS : Survivor:
Amazon: the reunion! The bad news is, few of the people who
voted for Jenna to get the million could offer a single reasonable
insight as to WHY. Even Christy --who just two weeks ago, acted like
Jenna was her "evil stepsister"-- voted for Jenna, which makes
no sense. Jeff Probst pressed the issue though in 60 minutes could not
press enough for a decent answer. The conclusion? This was one bad
season. Near
Miss
10:00, ABC: Dragnet
This season finale for this series' Freshman year really makes it
almost "criminal" that ABC has decided to place The Practice
back in this time slot next season, only to place this
series...someplace else. Anyway, this finale involves a case that gets
Friday up in arms when trying to protect an innocent suspect; so much
so, he winds up killing another cop. If that summary alone doesn't sound
ten times better than any script The Practice has dragged to the screen
in the last two seasons, I don't know what is. Large
Crater
Monday
10:00, CBS: CSI: Miami.
In an episode titled "Freaks & Tweaks" ---an amusing
pun related to the short-lived cult hit, "Freaks &
Geeks"-- the CSI Miami gang is almost killed in a barn after
discovering a body there. Meanwhile, Alexx is upset that her best
friend's husband has been shot, apparently via a random shooting. Lucky
for her friend that Alexx is a criminal investigator. This wasn't a bad
episode, really, though maybe a bit too cruise-controlled compared to
their better work this season. Small
Crater
Tuesday
8:00, UPN: Buffy
the Vampire Slayer Buffy now wields a golden scythe
of sorts, which can defeat vampires like they were nothing. Inevitably,
she uses it on Caleb, causing him to lose his life, even if we know
he'll be brought back as a zombie or something next week, for the series
finale. Meanwhile, the Slayer-ettes accept Buffy back, since now she
wields this cool scythe and Faith led them into a trap with a bomb in
it. Well, there's also the fact that they were total morons to let Buffy
go in the first place. The fact Buffy accepts her role as their leader
without any expletives (even TV-rated expletives) is proof enough that
she IS the slayer. Did I mention Buffy gets to kick Caleb's annoying
backside this episode...? Well, she does. Oh, and Angel arrives, just in
time for the fun stuff next week. Could this episode have been any
cooler? Deep
Impacta
9:00, FOX: 24
Back at CTU, Tony is in it up to his ankles when his abrupt method of
helping Jack --by knocking out his boss-- backfires when one of the
boss' buddies comes to look for him, and authorizes a search...leading
to the detention of Tony and Michelle. Jack doesn't fare much better on
his own, when the computer nerd that started this whole mess gets shot,
and Sherry is not too accommodating herself, seeing as how the only hope
they have now is a "sting" operation against Peter (the guy
who orchestrated all this), and the only person who can get close to him
is Sherry. Of course, this has to wait until next week, while this week
is only a sort of lead-in. However, it was certainly a very gripping
lead-in, with a cliffhanger of the hour that involved Jack having a sort
of heart attack while driving. After all...he was dead a few hours ago. Large
Crater
Wednesday
8:00, UPN : Enterprise
Archer reminisces about his former rival named Robinson, as the two of
them competed to break the Warp 2 barrier. Although this was a nice
enough episode it does prove once again how badly this series needs a
revamp...which, from what I hear of the season finale in two weeks, is
just what it will get. Small
Crater
9:00, UPN : Enterprise
Apparently, someone forgot that May sweeps ends at the end of May and
that means they must offer the season finale no later than next week.
So, here's the second-last episode of the season, offered this week, as
the second of a two-hour block of new Enterprise episodes. The story: A
bounty hunter seeks Archer due to the bounty on his head after escaping
the Klingon prison some weeks back and, as it turned out, embarrassing
the Klingons. Meanwhile, T'Pol and Phlox are stuck in the
decontamination chamber after an infection the bounty hunter used
infected them both, causing T'Pol's sexual moment of "pan far"
to be activated prematurely. For non-Trekkies, this is the moment of
time every 7 years of so for Vulcans, where if they do not mate, they
will die. Fortunately, a cure is found soon enough. Yes, as a matter of
fact, T'Pol in heat was enough to make this whole episode a keeper. Large
Crater
Thursday
8:00, CBS : Survivor:
Amazon In case you missed it, the series finale was
on SUNDAY. Why? Beats me. Sorry if you missed it, though you didn't miss
much. See this
season's recap by Techtite, and see what I mean.
8:00, NBC : Friends
(season finale) The cliffhanger du jour (or du year, as it were) is
Rachel and Joey, by all accounts, looking as if they're a hair away from
gettin' it on. That's not entirely unfair, when Ross is just a hair away
from gettin' in on with that paleontology chick. In the end, I'd have
hoped the final song was something like "She's my Best Friend's
Girl" by The Cars (i.e.; shouldn't Joey be a bit creeped out at the
thought of he and Rachel together?). On the other hand, the writers are
right; they do have a lot more in common than Rachel and Ross ever did.
Oh, and before you ask: the episode was still laugh-out-loud hilarious,
ergo the high rating. See you next season. Large
Crater
9:00, CBS : CSI: Crime
Scene Investigation (season finale)
A bank robbery is the focus of this episode which further delves into
Grissom's hearing loss problem, all while offering an intriguing
bank-explosion mystery which is largely amusing if only because the
cause was so stupid it just might happen, presuming a criminal was that
dumb. Oddly, they often are, though not always, and fortunately for this
episode, the criminal in this story was. If that makes sense, you'll
love this episode. Think too hard, however, and you might not. Large
Crater
10:00, CBS : Without a
Trace. (season finale) Samantha was indeed shot at the end of
part one, and this week her friends try to get her medical attention,
all while still held captive by Berry, who is holding people hostage in
a store until he gets safe passage to escape. In a move that shows that
Jack still has feelings for Samantha after all, he offers himself as
hostage to allow her to leave and get to a hospital. Cool episode. Large
Crater
Friday
After the season finales of Stargate
SG-1 and John Doe, there really isn't anything on
Fridays. Too bad...
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