Techtite's PC Game Reviews!

"South of the police station, you'll come across a snobbish-looking barbecue where a parade of marchers prance along with a trio of trained elephants. Yes, you can kick an elephant in the fanny and cause a whole lot of rampaging ruckus, though the point is, there is a lot to see here."

---from the review

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Sidebar :

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IS any base left uncovered? Wisely, yes. True, the game gives cynical jabs at Arabs and cats and dogs and even the police, though oddly enough this is a town that is not as real as it seems. Note that only adults live in this town. There are no kids, nor is there a single school. In fact, every attempt is made to keep people from thinking this is another game for another dimwit teenager to base his psycho rampage on. It's only a game, as the game reminds you at every possible occasion. Agreed.

The life of the Pacifist is a difficult one...but doable! As the back of the game box attests, "going postal" is not the only option here. Gamers owe it to themselves to play the game at least once in "pacifist mode." There were a few glitches here and there with this option, though they should be cleared up by the time you read this. Yes, it can be done. Cops will shoot at anyone who brandishes a gun; not just you. Just run for the cops when the guns start firing, and they'll deal with your attackers quite swiftly. On a darkly humorous note, many of the peaceful solutions to each task lead to even funnier jokes (just try and get Gary Coleman's autograph "the easy way"!), so, "give peace a chance." It's worth it.

The coolest shopping mall in video game history. If you run out of any supplies, be sure to dash for the mall. Stores sell everything from a rifle with a scope to food to boost health and even cats! If you accidentally lose that library book, no problem; buy it from the book store. This is a pretty elaborate mall. Your girlfriend might even want to play this game just to go shopping! Just don't tell her what you're supposed to do with those cats.

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Feel free to contribute. As always, review submissions are accepted!

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Postal 2 

Click picture to order this game (PC/windows version)

A Techtite Review

For all the warnings given at the opening of Postal 2, this is quite humbly just another First Person Shooter, where the simple goal is to survive. If there is a bold maneuver here, it's that there is no attempt to paint a rosy picture of good guys and bad guys; you shoot whomever is shooting at you, wherever you want, just because. As "Seinfeld" might put it, this is a game about nothing. In a crazy world, that's one of its strengths.

Strengths...? Consider it. Most shooter games say this or that guy is "the enemy," demanding you to shoot all the labeled "bad guys," without question. This game is not as black and white. The interpretation of what to do is entirely up to you. If you like a guy, you don't have to shoot him; an option rarely allowed in FPS games. In Postal 2, you don't need to kill a single living soul, making the avoidance of violence an added game challenge. If someone chases you with a gun, just run for the cops; two of whom walk every street. The game is that liberal. Of course, if you were that against guns, you wouldn't be buying a first person shooter at all, right? I'm just saying; this game is a totally open book when it comes to game rules and strategy. That's one of its strengths.

The story here, is that you're a guy just trying to go through everyday life, when everything that could go wrong does. At the beginning of the game, you work for none other than the game company that made Postal 2, which immediately fires you. Even if this isn't enough for you to "go postal," a gaggle of anti-violence picketers storm the front doors, attempting to gun everyone down...including you. This is going to be one of those kind of days.

Clearly, the idea here is how long it will take for Mr. Postal Dude (i.e., "you" in the game) to go postal. Take your time deciding; the game is programmed to accept a "peaceful"  or a "postal" solution, for each of the tasks you must complete each day.  On day one, for example, you must cash your last paycheck at the bank. If you decide to "go postal," you can sneak past the bank teller desks and dash for the safe. On the other hand, you can be a good boy, stand in the looong line for the single teller on duty, and cash your paycheck...only to have someone else try to rob the bank! You can then try to help the cops get the bad guys...or not. It's all up to you.

Here's the best news: each day is non-linear. This game uses a very novel spin on the Unreal game engine, in that there are no real "levels" here; just one big happy little town. True, it Grand Theft Auto had no wait times at all compared to this game, though thanks to the Unreal game engine this game's graphics are far more advanced and therefore, require a longer load time to produce. However, these load times aren't that bad. They're only bad if you have graphics pushed to the limits, and if you do have graphics at the max, your computer is probably fast enough to make the added load times less of a burden, anyway.

However, I digress; the point is this game has very non-linear gameplay. Go through a tunnel or alleyway with a "load" street sign nearby, and the next block of the town loads. While some areas of the town do not open until later in the week (i.e., the game), just about every place can be visited, in any order, any time you wish. You can explore at will. The "f" key (no jokes, please) raises the town map at any time, with an arrow marking where you are, and sketch notes around the areas you must visit that day, to move on to the next day. If visiting these 3-4 locations per day isn't enough, feel free to go to a dozen optional places, like the town's welcome center, the motel, a dance club, and even a mental ward. It's actually surprising how elaborate this town is.

What's even better, as I said earlier: you can do as you see fit. Go to the mall and buy a slice of pizza to boost health, or jump the front counter and take all the pizza you want...be careful, though, because the pizza boy just ran for the cops! Houses can be entered at will; the same goes for factories and warehouses. South of the police station, you'll come across a snobbish-looking barbecue where a parade of marchers prance along with a trio of trained elephants. Yes, you can kick an elephant in the fanny and cause a whole lot of rampaging ruckus, though the point is, there is a lot to see here. Get this: you can even sneak carefully through the police station, grab a police uniform, then have free reign of the entire town. Not that getting that uniform is easy, though it's something to try, among many options.

The AI of the townsfolk is impressive as well. Some people hate Mr. Dude, so it's best to avoid them. Don't fret, however, because police are walking the streets, and they will gun down any would-be killer brandishing a gun. The bad news? This applies to you as well as everyone, so keep that gun away unless you need it. Other characters you meet will react differently to given situations: while some run away screaming, others will run for the cops and yes there are those with their own guns. Some spectators will run at the first sign of trouble, while some will clap when the cop guns down the bad guy, with others literally throwing up. Overall, these are realistic NPCs, because indeed, this is exactly the type of diverse reactions a real town's inhabitants would offer, to the exact same events. After all, people always react differently to a controversial event (if you doubt that comment; just look at their reactions to this game!).

It makes sense that a game like this would have a dark sense of humor. Does it go too far? Well, yes...though when and how you learn this depends on how liberal you are. It was a foregone conclusion that the group of people with the biggest guns are portrayed as Arabian terrorists, though what about the "anti-violence" picketers, who also hold guns...?!? Cat lovers in particular may seriously dislike how any kitty Mr. Postal Dude comes  across can be used as a muffler for his shotgun (trust me: don't ask!). The game also takes time to poke fun at the ATF's botched handling of the Davidians at Waco Texas, the Florida "dimpled chad" voting fiasco, and yes even Gary Coleman (who provides his own guest voice!). This game leaves no stone unturned in its political incorrectness. Let's hope you have a good sense of humor.

True, I have a good sense of humor, so my gripes are elsewhere. For one thing --and this is not as pacifistic a comment as you'd think-- there is no accounting for your actions. Upon leaving any block of the town and returning, everything is as it was. Every car that exploded is back in its parking space; every broken window is fixed. Even creepier are the townsfolk, who act as if nothing ever happened, like some classic episode of The Twilight Zone. I can understand how in 24 hours the town would "repair" itself by the time I woke up (which for Mr. Postal Dude is probably mid-afternoon), though why would a guy gunned down by the cops be alive, well, and ready to sign my petition supporting violent games? Weird.

It's this oddball mix of "reality" and "video game" that drags Postal 2 down a few notches. A liberal would tell you that whether you decide to go postal or not, the potential enemies are human beings and that hits too close to home. I can see their point. Just about every other Unreal-clone tells you who the bad guys are and asks you to shoot them without question. The reason those games are considered more "blameless" than this type of game, is because they're so fanciful. It's a lot harder to call a game an inspiration for violence in the real world, when the enemy has spider legs and a robot head. If that sounds like something you see walking the street every day, you're obviously a psycho. This game has more realistic enemies, and I can see how someone could take offense. For me, it was no more real than a Warner Brothers cartoon. However, I can see how someone would see this game as too "real world" for its own good. It's all a matter of opinion.

Political incorrectness aside, I was surprised how intriguing this game was. Let's just put it this way: it's no more violent than an episode of The Sopranos or the film Gladiator, each of which won an Emmy and an Oscar, respectively. Furthermore, you control how the story proceeds, not the game per se. As I said, there's a lot of intrigue to Postal 2. Its intricately interwoven maps creating an entire town, the way the town can be explored at will, and the alternate solutions to every task, make this the "Seinfeld" of First Person Shooters. If it's a game about nothing, that's what's makes it so cool, because you can do as you see fit, even if it means using a kitty cat as a silencer. It may not be P.C., but hey, how many FPS games are?

---Techtite